Lucy Liu seduced by George Clooney

December 26th, 2005 // 18 Comments

tn_lucy_liu_cr.jpgIf George Clooney really wants babies, it looks like he might be trying to secure the womb of former flame Lucy Liu. The two made like horny high schoolers at the prom, hopped into a limo and proceeded to do things I haven’t done since the Clinton administration. Apparently, Lucy hasn’t gotten any in a while either.

The “Syriana” star and Liu left Downtown Cipriani the other night and began lip-locking in his waiting limo. “She looked like she was going to devour him,” a witness said of the 37-year-old starlet.

If I were to be devoured by a celebrity, I would like it to be Lucy Liu. But only after she washes Clooney’s sperm out of her mouth. Then I hope she gets sick and vomits pieces of me all over George during the next make out fest. That would surely turn him back to being gay, and bring an end to this madness.



  1. Captain Awesome

    I was told her cooch smelled and tasted like Orange Chicken.

  2. Binky

    Well, I know it’s hard to top your career after you’ve appeared in a Drew Barrymore produced film, but I think there’s a chance Lucy may be after more in life. Apparently she “plied George with oysters and champagne” Hummmm… the last time I was plied with oysters and champagne – I had to adjust my medication… So Cheers and Happy New Year to the newly invented couple !!

  3. Binky

    Eva, Drew, Lucy – they all taste like chicken hun.

  4. Captain Awesome

    oh :)

  5. Binky

    Np – Ask for the ‘extra spicy’. (Stay away from ‘the Hawaiian’ or anything mixed with ‘cooked fruit’)

  6. your mom is GAY

    lucy is hot and smells like flowers.

    captain awesome’s dick smells like crackers and clam chowder.

  7. Captain Awesome

    Sorry hun, I’ll wash it for you next time. You can’t say no to a Mermaid.

  8. Sheva

    Lucy Liu? Yuch, bleech, egads! Clooney must be really hurting for women these days. Something very yuch about her.

  9. BEAM

    Lucy Liu is way too good for George Clooney.

  10. HollyJ

    I bet Lucy’s manhole has teeth in it.

  11. andrewthezeppo

    Wait so Ling Woo is dating Dr. Ross, they can pretend to be big movie stars all they want, but we know they’re still TV scum.

  12. hafaball

    Opposites attract I guess, since George Clooney has one of the best senses of humor in the bizz and I don’t think Liu has ever laughed except if her botox tells her to. But hey, she’s hot sort of, he’s handsome…I just hope she doesn’t beat him too much in bed.

  13. derekd

    LMAO!! I love it! All the comments had me rollin!! ESPECIALLY Captain Awesome’s. I don’t care what anyone says though Lucy is hot! I’d bang her till that lazy eye was str8. Orange Chicken Cooch and all.

  14. fatgirl

    I don’t think Lucy Liu can see him, much less say George Crooney.

  15. Tania

    OMG – fatgirl that was hilarious!

  16. bobfet1

    wow what’s with all the racist comments?

  17. thatoneguy2

    captain awesome’s dick smells like crackers and clam chowder

    i have honestly never read anything that funny in my life. i cant stop fuckin laughing after that. who the hell thinks of that?

  18. thatoneguy2

    and last time i ate at the lucy liu wok, it definitely tasted like kung pao beef with a side of fried rice and egg roll

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