Louis C.K.’s SNL Monologue Went Over Well

March 31st, 2014 // 118 Comments
Louis CK SNL
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Let me get this out of the way so some of you can avoid hurting yourself:


Now that that’s out of the way, here’s Louis C.K.‘s Saturday Night Live monologue which wasn’t so much a monologue as it was nine minutes of all-new standup material that’s pissed off Christians. Which is usually what happens when you remind people that the Christian God is a psychotic mass murderer. Although, in Louis CK’s defense, he only suggests that if the Christian God does exist, he’s probably only killed one person as opposed to, oh I dunno, everybody including the child you miscarried and all those kids at Sandy Hook. So, really, this was probably the nicest thing anyone’s said about Him. He probably appreciated it.

“Morning, Gabriel. So how many people have I been accused of killing today?”
“Just one, Lord.”
“One? Holy shit, let me see that. *watches* Ha, fucking Louis CK. Cancel his ass cancer. I like him.”

UPDATE: Trying to watch this outside the U.S.? NBC hates you.

Photo: NBC


  1. alex

    Best opening monologue in years. Instead of relying on half the cast to come out and be funny, he killed it.

    • MarketingMike

      Louis always kicks ass, but he was really “on” that night.
      I really didn’t think it was that negative, just very funny.

  2. Odbarc

    “This content is currently unavailable.”

  3. I still laughing Louis CK it’s amazing, if somebody got offended by that I feel for you, because a life without sense of humor it’s not worth to be lived.

  4. Goose

    I don’t get the HURR DURR…is making fun of the way mentally disabled people talk the way you imply that people that disagree with you are stupid, Fish? Wow.

  5. Great monologue.

    Hey, dumbass Christians, did you all miss the part where he made fun of atheists? What, it didn’t matter?

    Hope you all get ass cancer, you joyless cunts.

    • If I’m a Christian who’s not a joyless cunt, do I still get ass cancer? Let me know so I can stock up on health insurance and lube.

      • Well, I see myself as a pretty joyful Christian…

        I thought my small rant made it pretty clear that my problem was with the American Christian Right and not with Christianity itself.

        But hey – f*ck it. If you want to lube up, lube up, dude…

      • At my job, I make sure to lube up before every workday. Management doesn’t bother to before they give it to us up the estrada chocolata. But hey, it’s a living.

    • As a Christian, I still found his monologue funny. The part about athiests…also funny. Louis C.K. is one of the best comics working today.

      Fact of the matter is, if people are going to be offended by it… well then go ahead. They’re just words. Now if it was hate speech or something with a hurtful intent, that’s different. Truth is, comedy is often times about pointing out the absurdity of things and stretching things way too far. Louie did it perfectly.

      So to answer your question, “What does it matter?” It doesn’t. Ass cancer? Joyless cunts? Let me ask you a question… If you hold Christians in such low regards, why lump us all together and why does it offend YOU so much that some people were offended. Why not just go about your merry way?

      • It offended me AS A CHRISTIAN that SO-CALLED CHRISTIANS would be offended.

        That’s the thing – I think better of us. The imbeciles losing their shit over this monologue or “Cosmos”, they genuinely annoyed me, because, as the loudest groupuscule of our religion, they make all of us look like a bunch of stuck-up retards.

        So yeah, I’m a Christian who called other Christians a bunch of joyless cunts (’cause they are), and mindlessly hope ass cancer to the lot of them as a follow up joke to Fish’s one. So go ahead – cast the first stone…

      • Well, I misread the context of your post then. My bad and I apologize for turning on you. Yes, there are WAY too many overly sensitive Christians (also Muslims, atheists, vegans, lesbians, etc) who can’t find humor in something that they may be passionate about.

        No casting of stones here, I happen to agree that there are a lot of people who need to lighten up a little. I’d like to think that Jesus might have even gotten a chuckle out of it. (before he cast Louie into a sea of fire and brimstone to broil for all eternity… ) But hey, it’s all in good fun.

  6. Pumpkin

    Hilarious monologue. Fish’s imagined reaction serves only to highlight his own bias and ignorance.

    • Imagined reaction, huh?

      See how the words pissed off Christians are highlighted in the post like they are here? That’s called a link. Try clicking on one before opening your mouth. You won’t believe the results.

      • If Christians want special protection from being offended like Muslims get they should probably try more of the blowing themselves apart in the Walmart parking lot when they are offended.

      • What gets me is how relatively tame this monologue was. Back in the ’70s, you could find comedians saying far more ostensibly blasphemous stuff. Hell, in the very first SNL, one of George Carlin’s three monologues was all about God and religion. Here’s a sample:

        “Maybe He’s only a, uh, semi-Supreme being. Because He’s like us, and we’re not perfect. I–I think God may not be, uh, perfect. I think His work shows that. Take a look at a mountain range—they’re all crooked, they’re never in line. All different sizes. There are no two leaves the same. He can’t even give two people the same fingerprints! He’s had BILLIONS of years to work on some of this stuff! And EVERYTHING He has ever MADE…DIED!! Everything so far!! Where did He get this great reputation? He’s batting .000!”

        Of course, there was no social networking media back then. It’s only now that every easily offended Christian can go apeshit in front of millions, so it all seems like a new thing.

      • It’s not social networking, it’s that the Christian right wasn’t politicized/organized as to its outrage back then, and didn’t have Rush Limbaugh telling them that they should feel threatened because this country isn’t a theocracy yet. Once they did get Reaganized, they managed to tell those awful homos they were goin’ to hell and shouldn’t be allowed to teach in schools just fine without the interwebz, just as gays managed to boycott orange juice, keep teaching, and kick Anita Bryant’s ass for her without Facebook.

      • you and your ilk convincing everyone they are a fucking victim over anything probably didn’t help.

      • My ilk? Justifiable’s ilk? C’mon, Doc, be more specific with your pronouns.

      • Justie’s ilk, of which you may be a part of. Justie complaining about “outrage” is palpably hilarious.

      • McBeef is outraged that I dared to disagree with him re blackface and has declared a fatwa. Look for a lot more “your ilk” (i.e. butthurt sniping) posts on his part.

      • At least we know where your social justice crusade for the offended ends… with Christianity.

        Hey, at least we can join hands and mock those fuckers.

      • Actually, it doesn’t – c’mon, dude, stop reaching. If you can find one instance where he took a swipe at Christ, or smacked around the Pope, or Falwell, or fucked any sacred unicorns up the ass, or otherwise said that any one follower of any religion is a fucking douchebag for believing in that religion, then I’d accept the reproach, but FYI, he didn’t. “Christianity” took not one single hit here. Generic diss-the-Almighty comedy with a side order of tweak-the-atheists is always gonna get a pass from me, not least because 1) this isn’t a theocracy, 2) questioning the very existence of God doesn’t get you burnt at the stake anymore for obvious reasons and 3) the last time I looked God didn’t have a big “Exclusive Property of the Christians” tattooed on his forehead.

      • I think a distinction can and should be made between mocking belief systems (religion, ideology, etc.) which is fair game, and mocking ethnic and identity characteristics/stereotypes (e.g., blackface, Chief Wahoo, that thing Miley Cyrus did when she pulled her eyes back to look Chinese).

        And if that means we can’t have dinner anymore, Doc, then fine. I was getting pretty tired of your always choosing the Olive Garden every time it was your turn.

      • What, was Applebee’s closed?

      • If Fish found out we ever went to an Applebee’s, we’d be banned from the site for life.

      • One of you will slip up and admit it soon. It’s only a matter of time…

      • My regular place to eat near a movie venue in Queens closed a few months back, and when I found this out I had to look for a nearby place to eat with not a lot of time to look around. My only two real options were an Applebee’s and a Pizzeria Uno. Fish, I thought of you went to Uno. That was really the only reason.

      • justifiable: going on Twitter to complain isn’t exactly “organized.” And there were plenty of religious-right-outrage antecedents to the Rush/Reaganization of which you speak, such as the reactions to David Steinberg’s “sermons” on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1968, or the protests when Maude had an on-air abortion in 1972.

        Yes, the fundamentalist crowd got organized in the 1980s starting with the election of Ronald Reagan (in no small part because they had gotten semi-organized to elect the born-again Jimmy Carter four years earlier and felt betrayed), but there have always been fundamentalist Christians getting righteously indignant over every perceived slight in popular culture. The difference I’m pointing out is that it used to be the rather amorphous, “CBS/NBC/whoever got a number of angry calls and letters”; now, not only do we get to see those angry calls and letters for ourselves, but there are a lot more of them because the Internet is relatively easy and everyone wants to be a star.

      • I agree it used to be more amorphous, but until the religious right faction started wading into the political pool and found out that money talks did anyone really start paying attention to them. FYI, the protests re the Maude abortion episode that aired a month before Rowe v. Wade decision was handed down were primarily from Roman Catholics, not the evangelical/fundamentalist Christian right of today. Norman Lear only became increasingly alarmed at their growing “fanaticism” later, after the rise of televangelists Robertson and Falwell – that’s why he founded People for the American Way in ’82.

        But I agree that the ‘net does pander to the concept that everyone’s a reality star, especially when it comes to encouraging really crap behavior.

      • maoix

        How many Twitter comments does it take to reach statistical significance?

      • Impossible. Nothing on Twitter is of any significance whatsoever.

      • Fish, you ignorant slut. Something like a third of the world’s population has access to the Internet. Finding someone online who’s pissed about something and has angrily blogged/podcasted/tweeted/commented in reaction is meaningless. Like some derivative of rule 34, if it exists somebody is pissed about it.

      • Mike Walker

        Ooohhhh… 6 tweets… they’re rioting in the streets! The fact is, there’s no significant reaction from christians, despite your embellished attempts to equate it to the typical response from muslims, who would actually be mail bombing 30 Rock by now.

    • crb

      Actually, it’s not his Imagined-reaction.

      It’s worse.

      It’s his, and the linked-sites use of a pretext to continue their campaign of racism against Christians.

      Take the statements of a few hotheads & tar the entire lot with the same brush.

      Again, just like a Lefty to think something [like racism] is bad unless you use it against someone who disagrees with you.

      So now this site, and the other linked-ones should go out and generalize about other religions in the exact same amounts as they have about Christians. Go ahead.

      So Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hinduist, etc. are all X, too; right?

      Look at the pattern of behavior, do a tally, plot some stats. How many articles criticizing each in any way at all?

      And not only is it racism, it’s disingenuous racism; denied as such by those who supposedly decry the whole concept in the first place. -Never learned 2 wrongs don’t make a right, eh Libs?

      -That being said, Louis was funny as usual, and you’d have to be abit nutty to get in a huff about his set.

      Besides, (iirc) it was the early HRE/Nicea-era Christians that killed off God’s wife. The female God-equivalent was called Shekinah.

      Rumor has it, she’s buried in the cement under the front porch of Vatican City along with with Jimmy Hoffa and Mary Magdalene.

      • I love that these two statements exist back to back in your post:

        “Take the statements of a few hotheads & tar the entire lot with the same brush.

        Again, just like a Lefty to think something [like racism] is bad unless you use it against someone who disagrees with you.”

      • “Christian” isn’t a race, you twit.

      • Johnny Barbells

        …i love how guys like him and walker only pull their heads out of their own asses long enough to spew a bunch of hypocritical insults & false equivalency arguments, then, like a turtle head, right back in they go.

      • Mike Walker

        What are you blathering about? What false equivalencies or hypocritical insults have I made?

      • Personally, I feel that all arguments lose their vaildity when blanket statements are made against ANY group.

  7. TheJoaker

    I love every part of it, but damn, did anyone else totally forget it was an SNL monologue like 30 seconds in? I feel like he did too

    • Way better than Martin Lawrence’s “pilly-packers”/smelly vaginas monologue.

    • OMG, a comedian hosting SNL did a stand-up routine as his monologue! That’s never happened before!…except for pretty much all the other comedians who’ve hosted SNL before. Seriously, are you so used to non-comedian hosts with their “We have a great show for you/What an amazing week I had in New York/These kids work so hard/Let me read you some jokes that were written for me/We have a great show! And our musical guest is Vanilla Ice!” monologues that you don’t recognize a real one anymore?

  8. It would be nice if this ass clown would stay away from religion and politics. It’s almost if he thinks this is CNN.

  9. As a fan of *real* comedians, I loved his monologue.

    Most of the guests on SNL, yeesh, I cringe watching that first couple minutes. I always kick myself for missing his show, FX doesnt do it any justice, its never advertised.

    They should get Jimmy Norton to host next

  10. Plurp

    As usual Louis CK was hilarious. I’m surprised you homos aren’t all pissed off that he made fun of atheists and the president. I see much more anger come from the left when you dare to poke fun of their sacred cows. Just think if he said something funny about global warming.

    • Yes, because jokes about Obama are strictly forbidden here. There’s literally no place for them, and God knows we would never showcase one of them not even 48 hours ago. You got us good.


      • Plurp

        HeeeHee. So funny when the head homo has to defend his whiny self.”Hurr Durr We make fun of president all the time Durr! Yer dumb like sarah palin and god. Durrr!!!11″ Then all his girlfriends give him a thumbs up and rub their hope posters. And Uncle Phil, am I doing it right? Ive only learned about straw men observing the millions BO da Preezzy has laid on us peons for the last 5 years. Kisses!

      • …wait, i just wanna make sure i’m getting this.

        PLURP: you lefty homos usually get angry when anyone pokes fun at your sacred cows, like obama.

        FISH: but we make fun of him all the time here.

        PLURP: hee hee, it’s funny when the head homo defends himself, and all his GF’s give thumbs up. (then some other business about dr. phil, straw men, and obama)

        …sssooo, you made an observation about how lefty’s always do “A”, it was clearly shown that you were wrong, and your response was…what exactly? “you’re a dumb homo, and so are all of your GF’s …plus, obama!” …ok, got it.

        …i really wanna subscribe to your newsletter, sir, that’d be some good readin’, i betcha.

      • So he’s a homo, but has a legion of girlfriends.


      • No one is this big of a dick. This is a cry for help. I’m recommending a consultation with Michele Bachmann’s husband.

      • Mike Walker

        Your jokes about Obama and other lefty sacred cows are light hearted and aren’t laced with the same condemnatory ridicule.

      • Oh, Christ. Now these humorless motherfuckers are insisting the jokes be ph balanced.

      • Oh what a scathing and insightful assault on the President that is in every way equal to any of the rants about Palin or Bush or Christianity.

        Are you fucking kidding me?!?! It wasn’t that funny, and you didn’t even write it! Come on now Fish, don’t give us that fair and balanced bullshit, you’ve clearly got an ax to grind.

      • Johnny Barbells

        to both you and mike walker…

        …try and stick with the original fucking premise …don’t try and change the rules so you can win the game …all that idiot said was; us lefty homos usually get pissed off when someone pokes fun at our shit …no one said it had to be a longwonded diatribe equal in ferocity to fish’s anti-republican political rants, all he had to do was show that we have poked fun at obama on this site …mission accomplished …so quit yer whining and take your loss like a man, little bitches.

      • I am sticking with the original fucking premise Johnny, you shit-whistle. Fish’s suggestion that he does poke fun at the left, by citing a single post that someone else wrote, isn’t really criticism and deserves a response. This isn’t a news site, he has precisely zero obligation to appear objective, so what’s the point? He was calling bullshit on Plurp and I was calling bullshit on him.

      • Mike Walker

        Quit being so pedantic, johnny dumbbells. The OP obviously meant the type of contemptuous, venomous jokes/insults that right wing figures and ideas get around here from fish and the commenters. Besides, that was a pretty weak example of “making fun of the president”, arguably not an example at all.

    • crb

      Well that’s really par for the course. The first thing Liberals do when you give them any civil rights is try to make it illegal to disagree with them.

    • Plurp, do you need anyone else here for your arguments or would we just be getting in the way of all the straw men you’re setting up?

  11. Ruth

    If you use Chrome, you can download IP unblockers for free.


  13. Making fun of a race of people who have no sense of humor is so finite a venture as to render the comedy impotent. It’s like making fun of fire. Christians on the other hand are so diverse in their intellect and dogmatic interpretation, a comic as savvy as Louis can plumb the depths forever. In other words fuck your shitty foreign head-chopping religion. We have chocolate bunnies!!

  14. Slash

    Thanks, religious folk, for the daily reminder of why my long-time status as an atheist was a good call.

    You’d think being filled with God’s love would make people happy, but apparently it just makes them hateful assholes.

    • “You’d think being filled with God’s love would make people happy, but apparently it just makes them hateful assholes.”

      And you’d think being “right” about something would keep atheists from being smug cockholes, yet here we are.

      • Dox

        In regards to Atheism…
        I think I have to go with Louis on this one….

        How do you know there is no god?
        Do you know everything? Have you seen everything? Do you fully comprehend the universe and how it works?

        I think that might be the very height of arrogance.

      • Most atheists will acknowledge that they can’t know absolutely that there is no god, and so yes, that technically makes them agnostics. But that term has a connotation of being wishy-washy or on the fence —’I can’t know one way or the other if there is a God’—without conveying the low probability of God’s existence that most self-styled atheists will assert. In The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins calls it de facto atheism: ‘I cannot know for certain but I think God is very improbable and I live my life on the assumption that he is not there.’ This is how Dawkins, perhaps the world’s most prominent atheist, categorizes himself. *puts Dawkins back on top of the books in my GOOP religion shelf*

        I can’t know with absolute certainty that there aren’t any leprechauns or unicorns in this big world, but I don’t believe in them, either.

      • ‘I can’t know with absolute certainty that there aren’t any leprechauns or unicorns in this big world, but I don’t believe in them, either.’

        Nutshell. Yes.

  15. religion aside, he is so very correct about the “wifebeater” terminology. incredible that this term is just accepted, more or less.

    • …it started with “bitch” and “slut”, then continued with “pimps and hoes” …hell, people say shit like “i really got raped on that deal” and “this was a total abortion” without even a hint of acknowledgement about the horrific meaning of those words.

    • It’s in the realm of ‘bastard’ now. No one uses it in any literal sense, and very rarely does anyone notice.

    • Helena Handbasket

      Many people may not realize that terms like “douchebag,” “cuntrag,” and “titty twister” are also deeply misogynist.

  16. AtomicMountain

    Wow, Fish’s minister father must’ve really done a number on him, huh?

    You find a few tweets from some offended evangelical Christians, and you gotta blog about it?! Joke about ANYTHING, and somebody somewhere is gonna be offended.

    I’ll prove it:

    “A black guy, a Jew and an Italian walk into a bar…etc. (hilarity ensues)”

    Wanna really see some tweets from offended people? Check this out:

    “Pro-Life rally…”

    Jesus, Fish. Lighten up, man. You sound like a feminist.

    • Kimmykimkim

      “You sound like a feminist.” Get off the internet and get back to your self sucking session, you mysogonistic fuck.

    • Hinkley Had a Vision

      And people who use feminist as an insult sound like limp dicks who live in the friend zone.

    • …i’m still waiting on the proof …that was’nt a joke, that was a set-up …what happened after the black guy, the jew, and the italian walked in the bar? were fried chicken, loose change, and the mafia involved somehow? or did it have something to do with big lips, the holocaust, and beating your wife? …’cause it aint offensive til you actually say something, you ball-less dipshit.

      …but, no, you’re right …’fish had “find” a “few” tweets, he’s totally blowing this outta proportion …because there’s no history of christians literally flooding facebook, twitter, and comment sections of various websites whenever they’re outraged by something they deem offensive or insulting to their christian sensibilities …nope, hardly ever happens.

  17. NameWithheld

    This was the only good part of the show. The skits were bizarre and horrible.

  18. I thought it was pretty funny overall. What people should be outraged over is the 100% unfunny no-talent filth that passes as the rest of the show. Every week. It’s not just me. Notice half the skits don’t even get any audience reaction. Pathetic *crap*.

  19. For those outside US the video it’s already on you tube so fuck you NBC :P https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioIoMB0UHk

  20. anonym

    so many christians got their feelings hurt.

  21. endgame.architecture

    That’s what people got offended about?!? Oh Jesus Fucking Christ. Get over yourself. No one cares anymore.

    God IS dead. I don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy or Santa anymore…why the hell do you believe in a fictional character?

    • LOL, I love it when atheist bring out the Santa Syndrome as a case against God. Their emotional outburst over their Santa discovery bleed into their adult life.

  22. I’m not insulted by a comedians theology. People who get their theology from a comedian in the end are jokes. also what is it with all this Superficial propaganda about the sandy hook shooting and christianity?

    • It seems as if a few folks were feeling the need to place blame and further an agenda. A middle ground makes sense, but the people the media covers don’t seem to have any. Sensationalism sells, as far as they are concerned.

  23. I am totally stunned at how much of a brouhaha this issue has raised. People need to unclench before they collapse their sphincters.

  24. That sucks, NBC has blocked it from everywhere…. Poor us, guess we don’t deserve fucking amazing comedy… I will be waiting and stalking and once it is available for me I will comment on here, even if it is 5 months later….

  25. The Real JC_12345


  26. Kimmykimkim

    I saw this episode last night and I thought it was pretty funny. He actually had a really good point with the bit about atheists just KNOWING that god doesn’t exist. “Well how do you know?”, “well I’ve never seen him so…”, “and I’ve never seen 12 Years a Slave but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” Cuz really, we don’t know anything about any of it for sure. So, everybody just chill the fuck out. We’ll find out when we die. Or we won’t. That’s the fun of it, you don’t know what to expect. I can only hope I’m reincarnated as a cat.

  27. I loved his observations on the “wife-beaters” While everyone is up in arms about the religious aspect of his monologue, he brought up some really good points about the absurdity of what we find acceptable in society in a pointed, yet humorous, way.

  28. Commentor

    I thought it was funny, NEW Hat to the comedian who makes fun of Islam. Didn’t think so.

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