Louis C.K. Cool With You Thinking He Makes Women Watch Him Jerk Off

Last year, the rumors that Louis CK forced female comics to watch him masturbate blew up when Jen Kirkman got as close as it gets to naming CK before deleting her podcast and going on several also-deleted Twitter rants complaining about blogs figuring out the obvious clues she put on the internet for public consumption. Anyway, since then, Louis CK has never addressed the subject except here he is in a new interview with Vulture where he’s not exactly denying that shit because no one should have an “all positive” public persona. Which seems like an odd call for allegations of sexual abuse, but okay, sure.

You didn’t feel any compulsion to address the Gawker stuff? I’ve never seen you talk about it.
Well, you can’t touch stuff like that. There’s one more thing I want to say about this, and it’s important: If you need your public profile to be all positive, you’re sick in the head. I do the work I do, and what happens next I can’t look after. So my thing is that I try to speak to the work whenever I can. Just to the work and not to my life.

So, wow, that’s, uh, definitely not a denial. Which is unfortunate because here’s probably the best analysis of this year’s shitshow presidential election:

Sometimes I think the system is so deeply fucked up that somebody as disruptive as Bernie — maybe he doesn’t even do a good job as president but he jars something loose in our system and something exciting happens. I mean, Hillary is better at this than any of these people. The American government is a very volatile, dangerous mechanism, and Hillary has the most experience with it. It’s like if you were on a plane and you wanted to choose a pilot. You have one person, Hillary, who says, “Here’s my license. Here’s all the thousands of flights that I’ve flown. Here’s planes I’ve flown in really difficult situations. I’ve had some good flights and some bad flights, but I’ve been flying for a very long time, and I know exactly how this plane works.” Then you’ve got Bernie, who says, “Everyone should get a ride right to their house with this plane.” “Well, how are you going to do that?” “I just think we should. It’s only fair that everyone gets to use the plane equally.” And then Trump says, “I’m going to fly so well. You’re not going to believe how good I’m going to fly this plane, and by the way, Hillary never flew a plane in her life.” “She did, and we have pictures.” “No, she never did it.” It’s insane.

And he takes it even further:

You mentioned in a radio interview how interested you were in this election cycle. What specifically are you finding so interesting?
It’s very emotional. There is a fear of Hillary, you know? I think some of it has to do with Hillary being such a strong candidate and being a woman. The response to her is very male. The other side is very male-oriented. Trump is a man. Well, he’s a boy, and Bernie is an old man. Neither is a feminine person. Obama’s a very feminine person. I don’t mean effeminate.
You mean he’s not macho?
Everybody has both masculine and feminine sides, but Obama is feminine inside. There ain’t no femininity in Trump. There’s none in Bernie. These are both really emphatic guys saying, “We got to do this!” Hillary’s trying to say, “Guys, this is reality. These are complex issues.” And those two are going, “I don’t want to fucking hear it!” It’s weird to watch. It’s like if you had an election in your family. Imagine that when you were a kid there was an election to decide whether Mom or Dad would be in charge for the next four years. Or if some group of siblings got together and said, “We’re going to get this woman to replace Mom.” After the election, imagine how you would feel about each other. It’s terribly, terribly interesting.

Jesus Christ, that shit’s great. Except you’ve got, “Haha, isn’t it cool how not safe I am because I probably force young female comics just starting out to watch me touch my dick?” which is just goddammit. I’m going to my room.

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