Oh, Now Lorenzo Lamas Wants His Kids Away From Shauna Sand

May 19th, 2011 // 59 Comments

Despite his children being exposed to a constant 24-hour loop of spray-tanned labia and skeez, Lorenzo Lamas is only now seeking full custody of his daughters after Shauna Sand was arrested last night for domestic violence after spraying her husband in the face with mace. TMZ reports:

Lorenzo tells TMZ, he’ll ask the judge for an emergency, temporary order … giving him full physical custody of the ex-couple’s three daughters … aged 10, 11, and 13.
Lorenzo tells us, “I am concerned for the welfare of my children. I will not allow them back in that household until Shauna and her husband receive anger management treatment.”

When asked why he never stepped in before on account of Shauna’s provocative lifestyle being played out in front of the kids, Renegade responded, “Wait, are you saying girls shouldn’t grow up to be plastic sex objects that are only good for banging? Because I don’t understand the question. Is that some sort of metaphor?”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet


  1. More importantly, I want to know when SyFy is going to make a movie starring Lorenzo Llama AND Richard Grieco. It doesn’t get more epic than that.

  2. Luv2Watch

    Butta face. yuck.

  3. SFord
    Commented on this photo:


  4. Whatever

    Can someone PLEASE buy this idiot a different pair of shoes????

  5. Pippy Longcockings

    “Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a WHORE just like you!”

  6. Siloporcen7

    The kid looks just THRILLED to have to be seen in public with her

  7. Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure Disney will hire me if I make this face mommy?

  8. Commented on this photo:

    You got to be kidding me. WTF

  9. MILF

    First Jodie Foster in the original, then Lindsay®, now this poor kid is starring in Floozy Freaky Friday.

  10. Hugh Gentry

    I’d still do her.

    • sound advice

      Wrap that rascal…and wrap it again…then bang a jar of mayo. You might bump the sides once in a while, which is more friction than you’d get from her chasm

      • Jock McCrock

        “wrap that rascal” ah ha ha – I like your sound advise, even though it sounds like it’s come straight out of some 17th century medical text.

  11. Deacon Jones

    I don’t know what it is (eye shadow?), but she looks a million times better in the pics with the white, jacket thingy than the rest of them.

  12. WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    Spinach bukkake!

  13. Rancid

    Her tits must not be getting along, the way they pull away from each other. And I’m not saying those knockers look fake. I’m actually typing it.

  14. First she pranced around like a ho’s outfit, and I said nothing because I loved the ho no mo’. Then she pranced around in a ho’s outfit with a pimp jacket on, and I still said nothing. Then she sold a sex tape to the general public, and I said nothing still…

  15. Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    TRASH. that said, why the fuck aren’t those (GAUDY) heels sinking into the sand?

  16. Any Guy

    i can’t even make an attempt at a joke. those poor fucking kids. this pic alone should be brought to court and showed to the judge. SCUMBAG whore. die.

  17. horny pig

    She looks good enough to eat ass first ..

  18. Undercover
    Commented on this photo:

    That is exactly what I pictured the monster in my closet looked like when I was younger.

  19. Kamrynne

    This chick is a train wreck, Disgusting ,

  20. Commented on this photo:

    Holy fucking milk jugs those things are large. And I’m not talking about the hooker heels.

  21. feminist barbie

    elegance. pure unadulterated elegance. why couldn’t i have her as a mother? then i wouldn’t have been plagued by this pesky sense of self worth.

    • Pippy Longcockings

      I know my sense of self worth would be better if I’d had her as a mother and then had sex with her.

  22. gilorio128
    Commented on this photo:

    fuck em both

  23. gilorio128

    ill do them both

  24. misha

    Look at the body language of the little girl in the purple skirt. Arms crossed and looking bored. She just loves spending time with mama.

  25. Gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy, please no!!!! Don’t take my soul!!!

  26. Natalie
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened to this chick? She used to be so hot when she was natural but now she just looks terrible. At the very least she should lose the peroxide hair and lip injections.

  27. ohmyword
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she think that because her heels are clear we won’t notice that she’s as short as her daughter?!

  28. JOSH
    Commented on this photo:

    how does a plastic doll eat real food?

  29. puddleduck

    That poor child

  30. kingofbeer
    Commented on this photo:

    apparently she only owns one pair of heals…. sad…

  31. I’m surprised a court hasn’t ordered Lorenzo to go pick up the kids whether he wants them or not. This chick makes Botox mom look like an award winning mother.

  32. mfbinc

    would you be seen with her on your arm..probably not. would you introduce her to your mother….probably not…. would you bang her….if you said no you’re either a chick or a homo….

  33. the captain

    why is we understand these things?

  34. right

    100% chance all 3 daughters will become strippers. I feel bad for the kids. Maybe Lorenzo can get the court to step in.

  35. right
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting ready to show mommy how she learned to eat at the “Y”

  36. Gracie
    Commented on this photo:

    that kid has the worst fake tan on look at her hands are so pale compare to the rest of her

  37. Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently mommy can only afford one plate of greens, and one serving of dressing… and only one pair of heels. Come on!?

  38. Collegato
    Commented on this photo:

    that is gonna be a pretty fucked up kid….i´m thinging kinda britney, paris, and her frog like friend who she used to prance around doing a relity show (not remembering her name, not wanting to).

    cheeeeers bitches.

  39. Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    She wears those fucking shoes EVERYWHERE.

  40. wtfmaggot
    Commented on this photo:

    … she STILL has those fukkn shoes?!

  41. LEB
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someday, honey, you’ll wear stripper heels on the beach and have a totally fucked up boob job just like me!”

  42. Hindsight

    If he didn’t want his kids raised by a coke whore, he shouldn’t have had them with Shauna Sand.

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