Lohan in (Surrogate Drunken Hollywood) Parent Trap

September 21st, 2005 // 22 Comments

Poor_Lindsay.jpgHave you ever had one of those days where you’ve woken up and said to yourself, “I’m not going to let Paris and Nicole’s feud take over my life anymore. I’m not going to let it control me. I’m not that person”? Well, not a day goes by that I don’t say that to myself. That, and, “I’m really in the mood for a burrito, hoss.” Yet I sit here, mouth full of the finest 99 cent Mexican cuisine in town, letting Paris and Nicole take over my life once more. Though I do take solace in the fact that Lindsay Lohan is in the same position:

Sparring socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie came face to face at an Emmy Awards after-show party.

Paris stayed on one side of the room with her pals Kimberly Stewart and Mary-Kate Olsen, while Nicole spent the night on the other with ‘The OC’ star Mischa Barton.

However, Lindsay Lohan – who has remained friends with both stars – was reportedly forced to keep flitting from one group to the other to keep both Paris and Nicole happy.

Poor Lindsay. At least I’ll always have my burritos. I’d give her one too, but I don’t want to see my babies thrown back up into the bottom of a toilet. They’ve done so much for me, and I owe them better than that.


  1. gracieo

    Oh, Lindsay!!

  2. seminole

    the fifteen minutes for these two skanks has been like, the longest ever. and the part that pisses me off is that they’re too damn stupid to know that they’re only objects of mockery and derision.


  3. goldilocks

    is it just me, or does lindsay have a double chin in that picture? strange considering she weighs like an OUNCE. im so obviously skinnier tho haha….i wish

  4. stinkypinky

    That’s hot.

    She was forced to flit back and forth all night to keep both Paris and Nicole happy? Poor Lindsay…it must be so hard to balance your friendships with two feuding idiots that wouldn’t be happy unless you sat by their side all night and tittered retardedly at their stupid jokes and moronic comments.

  5. Tommy Cruise

    Come on, Lindsay is such a two-timer. I remember the time that she had to “flit” back and forth between me and Wilmer. I made sure I came in her mouth first that night, cause I didn’t want any of that Fez-juice on me. And then I told her she had to pick just one of us. I still haven’t figured out who was the “lucky” one.

  6. Ms. Dilligaff

    I think the situation was probably misunderstood. The gal’s on drugs. She probably “flitted” on over to a tree a few times and told it she loved its earrings.

  7. LaLindsey

    wtf is up with Lohan’s face??

    first last week she’s looking like a grandma, and now she looks like she has a man chin with an extra side of fat.

  8. i’d still knock her up.

  9. Grey

    maybe they both had two different types of drugs she wanted.. you know.. coke and more coke.

  10. mutterhals

    Will this human detritus just die already. i cant wait to see her in porn

  11. sugarplum

    That’s what I call someone who can stand their ground, and keep away from other people’s nonsense. I wonder if they each had a doggie whistle with the word ‘Lindsey’ scribed on it, given by her, of course.

  12. andrewthezeppo

    Lindsay looks 12 in that picture….which is better than 84 I guess

  13. I wish Paris and Nicole would stop fighting already. Instead, they should kiss and make up. Preferably on tape. Now *that* would send the tabloids into a frenzy.

  14. Juliette

    Paris would probably be charged for pedophelia since Miss Richie looks about…oh 12.

  15. CastIronBitch

    Honestly, Lindsey was so cute. She was the only one of these “teen” stars I could stand.


    I’m sorry, did anyone see the movie Gia? I expect Lindsey to float off in a drug-induced, who knows what diseased stupor any time now.




    Leave us alone!

  16. Juliette

    She was on TV last night and the interviewer ever so graciously pointed out that she ‘put on a few pounds’ and LL muttered some BS saying how she wasn’t taking care of herself she ‘guessed’. Yea, coke will do that to ya…
    In interviews I saw before, she said the weight loss was due to ‘taking better care of herself, working out, eating clean’
    So what is it?!??!? Smells like BS to me.

  17. hautecouture18

    that is a bad pic of her… bad.

  18. OdetoBrit

    She reminds me of every girl I hated in High School, only hotter. Or uglier. Depends on the weather.

  19. Lizardqueen

    Hate to be a broken record here but… I am certain Lindsay is turning into Stockard Channing, circa Grease, but add a few years. Anyone??? Old round Lindsay was so fresh and cute. New Skeletor Lindsay, not so much.

  20. Dawn7

    Agreed. Linds Loosehan was so much hotter when she had bitties and a booty- I didn’t even mind her belly bulge…but since she has wittled to a size 5 in girls, I have to say the bulge in her face is due to puking and snorting. Loosehan and mydaddysrichie should really get therapy for wanting to go back toward a normal childhood and wear their barbie clothes. Perish is different, she’s just continuing on her childhood, with her mother and father making her have sex with all of the hotel guests..why else do you think Hilton Hotel got so popular? I like to look at the bright side..If I’m ever out on a date eating around them I can always use them to get the hard to reach spots whilst I clean in between my teeth.

  21. bryansbaby

    Who gives two shits about this story?

  22. I wonder if each of them had a dog whistle with the word "prescribed Lindsey in it, given by her, of course.

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