Tori Spelling’s mom figured out this Internet thing

April 14th, 2009 // 34 Comments

- Candy Spelling writes open letter to daughter Tori Spelling begging to see her. Unless Candy has acting work shooting out of her armpits, she shouldn’t hold her breath. Not that Tori can’t get hired on her own. — AHAHAHA! [Allie is Wired]

- Shia LaBeouf will only regain 80% use of his hand that was shattered in a car accident. Time to let nature take its course. Read: Saw it off and get a sweet robot one. [PopSugar]

- Chris Brown’s fans let him hold him their baby. In all honesty, I’d be more concerned if this was Britney Spears holding the kid. True story. [Best Week Ever]

- Terrence Howard is not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It’s like he’s an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean? [Videogum]

- Leonardo DiCaprio gives Zac Efron career advice and tells him heroin is the only way to “fuck this all up.” That or make a real shitty Funny or Die video. Whoops. [Vulture]

- The Hils’ stars know dick about fashion yet all have clothing lines. I’m starting to see what Al Qaeda was getting at. [Jezebel]

Photos: Getty
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  1. Do FreeBird

    She looks grotesque in so many different ways.
    Ewwwwwwwwwwww

    But I’d still bone ‘er.

  2. azalea

    I hate Tori Spelling. She’s really really icky.

  3. timmy the dying boy

    In Pic #7, why is that shaved monkey grabbing at Tori’s hideously misshapen breast?

  4. nig

    what a nasty fucking cunt. seriously what the fuck is up with that titty in pic 7. you nasty bitch you’re face is horrible.suck my nasty smelling weiner.

  5. Horse Face or Not

    I used to feel sorry for her when she was on 90210 because she was the ugliest person on the show yet she had this sweet and modest personality. I recently saw her in an interview and was disgusted at her new personality: prancing around, posing for the cameras, vain, prissy, shallow and vapid just like any other Hollywood reality show “actress”. It’s sad how she and her mother squabble over money. Maybe that’s why Tori’s so pissed at her mom… because Mommy won’t kick down the cash and now Tori has to pimp out her family on shitty reality TV shows. These people are pathetic, money-grubbing idiots!

  6. zebop

    She’s pretty hot for a tranny.

  7. ………………………..GO FOR MENTAL-ASSISTANCE!!
    (before it’s to late)

  8. The nose Knows nos

    hahha even her pig mommy knew she had to have that hideous genetic legacy fat – - – nose amputated a bit. She can’t help but be ugly it’s the way those types are.

  9. This may well be just about the ugliest chick on the planet.

  10. Trent

    Wow, I’m sorry but she is one ugly woman.

  11. Some dude

    I don’t care what anyone says, this woman has gorgeous fucking legs!

  12. chupacabra

    ANOREXIA!!!!!!!

  13. VooDoo

    She looks like a BOBBLE HEAD DOLL. Her head is too BIG for her body. And she kinda looks like a man in drag.

  14. It is a really nice person and is trying to do his. He may have raised money, but the mother was Joan Crawford’s “Dear Mama” to shame.

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