Tori Spelling’s mom figured out this Internet thing

April 14th, 2009 // 34 Comments

- Candy Spelling writes open letter to daughter Tori Spelling begging to see her. Unless Candy has acting work shooting out of her armpits, she shouldn’t hold her breath. Not that Tori can’t get hired on her own. — AHAHAHA! [Allie is Wired]

- Shia LaBeouf will only regain 80% use of his hand that was shattered in a car accident. Time to let nature take its course. Read: Saw it off and get a sweet robot one. [PopSugar]

- Chris Brown’s fans let him hold him their baby. In all honesty, I’d be more concerned if this was Britney Spears holding the kid. True story. [Best Week Ever]

- Terrence Howard is not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It’s like he’s an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean? [Videogum]

- Leonardo DiCaprio gives Zac Efron career advice and tells him heroin is the only way to “fuck this all up.” That or make a real shitty Funny or Die video. Whoops. [Vulture]

- The Hils’ stars know dick about fashion yet all have clothing lines. I’m starting to see what Al Qaeda was getting at. [Jezebel]

Photos: Getty
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I say surprising because celebs usually buy and sell their real estate for a lot more. Case in point, Candy Spelling’s mansion just went for $85 million. Yep, Candy Spelling can now buy 47.7 Selma Blair houses. In other news, I just did math.
Tori & Dean Recap: Home Sweet Hollywood – Brothers and Sisters
So the KIDS get to blow out smoke too! (Some seriously great party ideas at play here.) Tori’s mom, Candy Spelling, brings an amazing gift for Stella: Tori’s old dollhouse. Tori is incredibly ecstatic. “All I wanted was for her to have ...

Comments (34)

  1. jjj | April 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    first

    Reply
  2. Really Sad | April 14, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    You know its bad when mom (post menopause) looks better than the daughter.
    Tori should jump back in the closet.

    Reply
  3. carol | April 14, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    I THINK SHE LOOKS GREAT! AND SHE IS A SWEET HEART

    Reply
  4. Tammy | April 14, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Tori Spellings face looks like something I drew with my left hand (Im right handed lol) while on an acid trip lol.

    Reply
  5. Nathalie | April 14, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Does not compute: fat face but arms that resemble sticks.

    Reply
  6. RichPort's Ghost | April 14, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    @4- brilliant!

    P.S. Tory, you fucking Jew princess cunt, eat shit & die.

    I guess my Tourette’s is a little more focused. BITCH CUNT WHORE!!!

    Reply
  7. Nero | April 14, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Her mother is a coward! She’s afraid for the book to come out!

    Reply
  8. scat | April 14, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    #5…hilarious

    #4 …touch of turrets?

    damn, thats a big ass head!

    Reply
  9. joy | April 14, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    she really is a nice person and she’s trying to make it on her own. She may have been brought up with money, but her mother puts Joan Crawford ‘s “Mommy Dearest” to shame.

    Reply
  10. Darth | April 14, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    He mom is cheap and a coward!

    Reply
  11. Rhialto | April 14, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    I hope she finish off her mother good in the book! She deserved it!

    Reply
  12. Galtacticus | April 14, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    The kid doesn’t look very happy with Chris Brown! Omen?

    Reply
  13. Sauron | April 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Good move from Tori Spelling.It’s time to take revenge! *Evil laughter*

    Reply
  14. Randal | April 14, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    One of the best looking women that graced 90210 is still looking great!

    Randal

    Reply
  15. Rough Daddy | April 14, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    lol Best comment of the day @ 15

    So youre saying shes not the Bizarro of a Heidi Klum…

    Reply
  16. K.T | April 14, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    FUCK SHE IS THE UGLIEST BITCH I’ve ever seen in my fucking LIFE! Everything about her makes me want to puke! And her husband LEFT someone for THIS UGLY FREAK SHOW????!!!! I dont even know what else to say, I’m in disbelief people give this horse face orange loser ANY publicity!!!! The bastard husband of hers only left his wife for this freak because he thought she’d have a ton of cash but hahahaha! Tori’s mum got most of it! Suck shit you gold-digging bastard! You both deserve each other, you creepy, ugly fucking repulsive freaks!!!!

    Reply
  17. Angry Beaver | April 14, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    QUIT PICKING ON TORI!! I loved her in Mask when she played Cher’s son.

    Reply
  18. Mama Pinkus | April 14, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    that gal has a heck of an unfortunate looking face but I think on a personality scale she is way, WAY above her wealthy counterpart Ms. Hilton.

    Reply
  19. Hanover Fist | April 14, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    “Terrence Howard is not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It’s like he’s an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean?”

    That’s a simile, not a metaphor.

    Reply
  20. patrickridyard@yahoo.com | April 14, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    o.k fuck tori ass long and sweet time o.k pussy to. #18 gayboy!!!

    Reply
  21. Do FreeBird | April 14, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    She looks grotesque in so many different ways.
    Ewwwwwwwwwwww

    But I’d still bone ‘er.

    Reply
  22. azalea | April 14, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    I hate Tori Spelling. She’s really really icky.

    Reply
  23. timmy the dying boy | April 14, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    In Pic #7, why is that shaved monkey grabbing at Tori’s hideously misshapen breast?

    Reply
  24. nig | April 14, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    what a nasty fucking cunt. seriously what the fuck is up with that titty in pic 7. you nasty bitch you’re face is horrible.suck my nasty smelling weiner.

    Reply
  25. Horse Face or Not | April 14, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    I used to feel sorry for her when she was on 90210 because she was the ugliest person on the show yet she had this sweet and modest personality. I recently saw her in an interview and was disgusted at her new personality: prancing around, posing for the cameras, vain, prissy, shallow and vapid just like any other Hollywood reality show “actress”. It’s sad how she and her mother squabble over money. Maybe that’s why Tori’s so pissed at her mom… because Mommy won’t kick down the cash and now Tori has to pimp out her family on shitty reality TV shows. These people are pathetic, money-grubbing idiots!

    Reply
  26. zebop | April 14, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    She’s pretty hot for a tranny.

    Reply
  27. gerard Vandenberg | April 15, 2009 at 7:10 am

    ………………………..GO FOR MENTAL-ASSISTANCE!!
    (before it’s to late)

    Reply
  28. The nose Knows nos | April 15, 2009 at 7:44 am

    hahha even her pig mommy knew she had to have that hideous genetic legacy fat – - – nose amputated a bit. She can’t help but be ugly it’s the way those types are.

    Reply
  29. RichPort's Ghost | April 15, 2009 at 8:48 am

    This may well be just about the ugliest chick on the planet.

    Reply
  30. Trent | April 15, 2009 at 8:51 am

    Wow, I’m sorry but she is one ugly woman.

    Reply
  31. Some dude | April 15, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    I don’t care what anyone says, this woman has gorgeous fucking legs!

    Reply
  32. chupacabra | April 16, 2009 at 11:26 am

    ANOREXIA!!!!!!!

    Reply
  33. VooDoo | April 19, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    She looks like a BOBBLE HEAD DOLL. Her head is too BIG for her body. And she kinda looks like a man in drag.

    Reply
  34. micro sd card | May 31, 2010 at 7:25 am

    It is a really nice person and is trying to do his. He may have raised money, but the mother was Joan Crawford’s “Dear Mama” to shame.

    Reply

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