Lindsey Pelas Loving America With Her Giant Breasts Isn’t Boring

It’s the Monday after the 4th of July Weekend, and I’ve already hit all the highlights unless you want me to write about Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis getting married or Ben Affleck tweeting exactly one tweet. Just one. So here’s Lindsey Pelas rubbing an entire backyard barbeque worth of items all over her crazy huge breasts which won’t put you to sleep like that other stuff I was talking about. Literally none of it was important. This, on the other hand, will make you cry pure bald eagles out of your face, so I hope you’re not attached to your upholstery because it’s gone now. America needed it.

Photos: Instagram