Lindsay opened her mouth. Guess what came out.

Seen here looking like the goddamn Emperor, Lindsay Lohan apparently decided to see how many times she could lie to a judge yesterday without getting tossed in jail. (Answer: 3,720. I hate you, LA.) TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan made it clear to the court that she didn’t wanna wear a SCRAM bracelet because she thought it would get in the way of an upcoming movie shoot in Texas — problem is, no such shoot exists.
TMZ has contacted the producers of the only two motion picture projects Lindsay is currently attached to — “Machete” and “Inferno” — and they both made it very clear that LiLo has no business in Texas.
A rep for “Machete” tells us there ARE additional scenes being shot in Texas but, “according to the director, they don’t include [Lindsay].”
As for “Inferno,” a rep tells us, The Linda Lovelace biopic “doesn’t plan on starting shooting ’till the beginning of August.” Also, it’s not being shot in Texas — so the SCRAM bracelet would have no affect on that film either.

To save me a helluva lot of typing, let’s just assume that everything Lindsay said in court yesterday was complete and utter bullshit. When they asked her to state her name for the record, she probably said “Tom Cruise” then refused to be tried in “people court” because she’s a cat.

Photos: Mavrix