Lindsay opened her mouth. Guess what came out.

May 25th, 2010 // 66 Comments

Seen here looking like the goddamn Emperor, Lindsay Lohan apparently decided to see how many times she could lie to a judge yesterday without getting tossed in jail. (Answer: 3,720. I hate you, LA.) TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan made it clear to the court that she didn’t wanna wear a SCRAM bracelet because she thought it would get in the way of an upcoming movie shoot in Texas — problem is, no such shoot exists.
TMZ has contacted the producers of the only two motion picture projects Lindsay is currently attached to — “Machete” and “Inferno” — and they both made it very clear that LiLo has no business in Texas.
A rep for “Machete” tells us there ARE additional scenes being shot in Texas but, “according to the director, they don’t include [Lindsay].”
As for “Inferno,” a rep tells us, The Linda Lovelace biopic “doesn’t plan on starting shooting ’till the beginning of August.” Also, it’s not being shot in Texas — so the SCRAM bracelet would have no affect on that film either.

To save me a helluva lot of typing, let’s just assume that everything Lindsay said in court yesterday was complete and utter bullshit. When they asked her to state her name for the record, she probably said “Tom Cruise” then refused to be tried in “people court” because she’s a cat.

Photos: Mavrix

  1. mrc

    well that’s just sad.

  2. treewaterer

    Her face looks terrible, all bloated and just terrible – evidence of underlying health and substance issues.

  3. Fester

    Wow, she’s transforming into Boy George.

  4. Oh man, she looks awful :(

  5. jumpin_j

    I thought a quart of vomit from drinking vodka would come out of her mouth, Eh, what do I know? At least if she did it in court, now that would’ve been cool.

  6. Randal

    She’s exhausted and for good reason. She flew halfway across the world to be in court, is probably on little to no sleep, is filming two movies and just spent countless hours standing around in court answering questions. It’s tough being a sought after celebrity but even the best of them need their rest.


  7. Michelle

    @4 I was about to sayyyy lol she look like boy george!!!!

  8. MR. T

    @7. You look that way when you snort an 8 ball of cocaine a day…the only way this girl lives another year is if:
    A. she goes to prison for a long about a year or more and….
    B. Her Mom and Dad both die while she is in there.
    Trust me I know… best friend was just like her and rehab never worked…she finally had a judge sentence her to 2 years in prison and after she got out she has been a model citizen. If not for her going to jail…and she will tell you this herself…..she would have died. Hear me now and believe me later….Lyndsey Lohan is going to die if she doesn’t go to prison.

  9. Lindsay, Its time you face the facts…Youre a no talent blight on America.
    Do yourself and the populace a favour. Offer to do a porno for $500,000, then take the money and retire to some commune in Iowa.

  10. bar room hero

    Is she suffering the DT’s yet???

  11. Fester

    @8 I think maybe if Elvis and Boy George had a baby it would look like Lindsey.

    Please don’t ask me to explain the bio-mechanics required for that union. :)

  12. farles chew

    Tom Sizemore in drag.

  13. Jen

    Randal #7: typically, you are nice about these posts but now you are just being plain ignorant. lindsay clearly has a problem. she couldnt even sit up straight in her chair in court yesterday b/c she is a spoiled little twit. she could atleast show some respect to the judge. she feels like she is unstoppable and can run from the law. she has clearly not done what she is supposed to do to satisfy her probation and thus should be punished. she should have never went to canne in the first place and should have stayed here to take care of her shit.

    wow, i just got really upset…HA!

  14. lakotta

    just another case of a spoiled teen celeb abusing both herself and the legal system.
    here’s a clue Lins, do what Robert Downey Jr. did and drop out of site for a couple of years, get clean, GROW UP and then TRY to make something of yourself and your so-called career.

  15. Anonymous

    She’s the picture of health.

  16. Anonymous


    Which two movies is she shooting? Be specific now.

  17. arealcad

    Did she even think about the fact that the court would check out her story?

  18. The REALEST Cad

    Leave Randal alone. I admire his ability to figure out something nice to say about even the clowniest celebrities.

    @arealcad: The court never would have checked, but TMZ did . . .

  19. The O

    4 & 8

    Wow, glad I wasn’t the only one. Thought Boy George was looking a little off in the shot.

  20. jt

    she looks like boy george.

  21. Jennifer

    If this is what our judicial system become, fuck me senseless!

  22. Man, poor ol’ Lindsay looks like she just got out of a mosh-pit at a Slayer show.

  23. LIAR!

    She looks like she’s been on a coke/meth bender for weeks & hasn’t showered. Zonked out face, drooling, greasy hair. Nice; I’m sure you’ll get a lot of job offers based on that.

    What I don’t understand is, lying to a judge is perjury & comtempt of court; how is it this cuuunnnnt can tell boldfaced lies to the judge & get away with it? If it were you or I, and we pulled just one of the lies she’s told, we’d be in jail. The LA system sucks the celebrity c*ck too much; they should have tossed her idiotic drug addicted ass in jail immediately…

  24. Randal's Rectum

    So Randal, does filming movies mean your heroine is above the law?
    Fuck Hollywood.

  25. Big J

    She looks like the Kim Jong-Il of Hollywood.

  26. SHADE

    She looks like a homeless Elton John look alike.

  27. KumaTenshi

    It’s true.

    Celebrity means you can do anything, and the courts will actually let you do anything you damn well please.

    GloHo here is becoming the front runner for this kind of BS.

  28. JonnyTopside

    Wow Keith Richards looks really good for an old fuck!

  29. Joey

    Scram bracelets dont prevent you from going to texas. They detect whether you have been drinking. Hour by hour. It is nearly impossible to fool them. If she wears one, she will not be able to drink at all with out it detecting it.

  30. Badger Bob

    Fester is right on: Lindsay Lohan does look like she is transforming into Boy George.

    Where did she get that awful outfit? Was there some Michael Jackson auction/thrift store sale?

  31. Erin

    OMG She looks like Lara Flynn Boyle!!! Scary….

  32. Wahoomcdaniel

    Her photo reminds me of the film, Weekend at Bernie’s.
    I realize that a flight from Europe to LA is exhausting, but she looks more unhealthy than just tired.

  33. Erika

    Um aren’t they mising the point. It doesn’t matter WHERE the film is f&cking being filmed hello. it could be filmed in frigging Canada for all it matters. The point is she is filming and that it could interfere

  34. KraziHotKelli

    Oh Lindzay, Randal iz right. You work zo hard being a brilliant dezigner and A-lizt movie ztar. Take a few dayz for yourzelf and get zome zleep.

  35. rodney dangerfield

    “Lindsay opened her mouth. Guess what came out.”

    …umm….a stream of bloody smegma? some canker pus? a balloon of heroin?

  36. Tek

    Judge said no. No means no. She’s going to wear the shit so get over it. And she will probably pose in a bikini with it like she’s done before.

  37. df

    Crash and burn already loser! Tired of seeing that thing’s pathetic face.

  38. FMJ

    Looks like some weird version of Truman Capote in that first pic.

  39. Madam Ex

    She is so bloated that she has the double chin face, her cheeks her whole face is bloated, pills make you retain water, and she’s a fucking mess right now. I still dont feel bad for her. Wont be long before we see her parading around in bikinis showing off her bracelet. She needs jailtime and not 180 days either, 6 months isnt shit, and you only serve 1/3 of that, so that means she’ll be out in a little more than 4.

  40. stinky mcpoop

    That’s not Lindsay, that’s Samantha

  41. Is Van Morrison playing the Orpheum? Cool… I gotta get me some tickets.

  42. herbiefrog

    if you had one evening to enjoy yourself before being stamped down by the “establishment” for the rest of the day… just hold her up boys, wshe’ll be fine;… smile babe : )))

  43. Jess

    What this girl needs is a good gay to slap her in the face and tell her WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

  44. herbiefrog

    who the fuck gives “judges” the power

    to abuse human beings in this way…

    thanks marshall…

    a sign ? you think ?

  45. mathy mcmath

    @#40 (Madame Ex)

    go back to remedial math, dumbass. 1/3 of 6 months is TWO months…

  46. sheri

    Whoever the director is doing the Linda Lovelace movie, you better release it as a porno. I read the book about her, it was very interesting, but with this drug addict playing her, it will never rise about the filth associated with the Lovelace name. It will never go mainstream. Get a respected actress, keep the filth limited and tell the story tastefully. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but her story is very compelling. I would not watch it will Lohan involved. Seriously, her teeth are even getting smaller she does so many drugs. Probably has them shaved down once in awhile.

  47. meghanfish

    she looks like a gargoyle, if a gargoyle could have a sodium imbalance

  48. omgwtf

    LOL@ Mathy – I was thinking the same thing.

  49. cjsummertime

    I actually am starting to feel bad for her. She looks absolutely horrible! she used to be cute – a few years ago. If she’s even the tiniest bit sober, she’ll realize what she’s thrown away. Her youth, her looks, her talent, her sanity….She looks sooooo lost and just absent from life – I really think prision time would help her. If her parents want her to survive, they really need to act fast – her mom is such an enabler. ewww… and her dad isn’t much better. Yeah, prison is her only hope.

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