Because hers is the face of wisdom, Lindsay Lohan will soon bless the world with her words. Via E! News:
“I write a lot and it’s very therapeutic for me because then I can see what’s happening on paper,” she tells Britain’s OK! magazine. “I’ve started writing a book. It’s going to take a while, all my life experiences. I started writing it a year ago. There’s a lot to put down, you know?”
I can’t even imagine the insights of a book where every chapter ends with “And then I sucked his dick.” I’m pretty sure the entire literary world just put their pens down and realized there’s no way they can compete with that. Except for Dan Brown who’s feeling confident about his latest murder mystery. (Spoiler Alert: Moses is gay and a Freemason!)
Photos: INFdaily
FRIST | March 4, 2010 at 12:40 pm
FIRST!>!
Funeral Guy | March 4, 2010 at 12:42 pm
Writing a book? Maybe she should try reading a book first.
daisy | March 4, 2010 at 12:43 pm
second
Kitty Furry | March 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm
forf
Wtf?!? | March 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Good grief, Lindsay Lohan knows how to write?
It’s going to take an awful lot of crayons and fingerpaints for this one.
kingofbeer | March 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Great my kid loves coloring books.
“Daddy, why is the princess in this picture flashing her private parts and why is she hunched over a mirror?”
Mike Nike | March 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm
I can’t wait till people stop listening to this bitch. That + her pussy stinks.
Cristin | March 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Moses was gay and a freemason? Seriously, what is your problem, you angry little man? I’m not even religious but I am so sick of your constant hostile bashing. Ohhh, you’re so smart because you voice a common, loud assault on religion, how original! Let’s see you bash
Mohammed or Aisha. God, what a loser. I’m oficially deleting the bookmark and not coming back to this site- it’s just lame and uninteresting.
Panty Unbuncher | March 4, 2010 at 12:51 pm
@8: That was obviously a joke about Dan Brown making controversial claims about religion. Like The Da Vinci Code saying Jesus had a wife and kids. Chill your shit out, Carrie Prejean.
Gay Fish | March 4, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I’ll buy it only if it has a happy ending……..like Lindsay found dead in a pile of coke
Sport | March 4, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Perfect. It will be written in crayon, with those backwards letters kids use.
And obviously there will be someone else writing about her experiences for her because we all know she was too fucked up to remember any of the good ones.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | March 4, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Mohammed molested sheep
Blech | March 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I’ll read it! Hopefully she’ll write it after she’s cleaned out her system of sh*t.
We love you, Lindsay! Don’t let the old, bitter farts get to you. You’re still young and have something they don’t have– your youth!
whatthe | March 4, 2010 at 1:03 pm
She is a compulsive liar, so I’m sure the experiences in this book will be at least 80% fictitious. Then of course she will leave out the best parts out of pure shame. LAME.
merilhepburn | March 4, 2010 at 1:06 pm
I hope my kid does a book report on this. He’s a little bastard, always trying to look so good for school pictures.
whatthe | March 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm
How good could this book be? I mean she insists she doesn’t have an alcohol problem, so she’ll have to leave out half of her life there. Then she says she only did coke once or twice, so there goes another half of her life. Oh yeah, and her breasts are real and she saved a bunch of Indian children.
Folks, this book can be found in the fiction section.
justifiable | March 4, 2010 at 1:25 pm
“Because then I can see what’s happening on paper”….
…yeah, for most people, seeing “And then I got fired/arrested” written over and over would clue them in to “what’s happening”. You? Not so much.
Alex | March 4, 2010 at 1:27 pm
I would like to see a post from Superficial explaining why the fuck that damn Bounty Hunter ad takes so fucking long to splash and then cover the entire fucking webpage until you close it out. It’s not annoying or anything, but I’m afraid I might go on a shooting spree if I see it, again.
I understand paying bills, but FUCK ME! How expensive can a domain plus writer be?
Richard McBeef | March 4, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@9 – HUZZAH
hahahah bullshit | March 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm
a book??? haha
maybe a pamphlet… maybe… haha. you know itll probably be a short comic strip of stick figures doing coke and having anal sex .. yeah sounds about right
aw who are we kidding she doesnt know how to write.
Masker | March 4, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Honestly, who cares & who’s gonna buy, let alone read that book ?
farthammer | March 4, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I think we are all missing the real story here. And that is the hilarious negro in the upper right corner of the main picture.
Kitty Furry | March 4, 2010 at 1:52 pm
looks like that hilarious negro has a white hand
Jimmy | March 4, 2010 at 2:02 pm
How about we try to come up with a title. I’ll start the ball rolling with “Trainwrecks Are Us.” Or, considering her relationship with that whack job disc jockey, “Muff Diving for Idiots.” Come on, let’s see some creativity out there!
Hilarious looking negro | March 4, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Stop making fun of me.
I'd read it | March 4, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Superficial writer,
Your comments have always been hit or miss with me. However, nothing has amde me laugh so loud as to endanger my job security as when I read “and then I sucked his dick” in what I imagine is Lindsay Lohan’s voice.
Name (required): | March 4, 2010 at 2:26 pm
HOW THAT BLACK MAN GET SUCH A WHITE HAND?
Crack Dealers of America | March 4, 2010 at 2:26 pm
What’s the book called? Everything you need to know about Crack but were afraid to ask?
Ditto | March 4, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Ditto to #26.
I spit water all over my monitor when I read that.
Perfect.
Tralalala | March 4, 2010 at 3:58 pm
My, what big pupils she has in photo #5 where she is sitting in the car and there is a no smoking sign.
Rob | March 4, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Ok. I went to school with the guy in the photo. Weird.
Matthew | March 4, 2010 at 4:31 pm
the title of this book: how to become a A-lister to a Z-lister by lohan
LPB | March 4, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Duz anyone think she can rite adiquate?
Ego | March 4, 2010 at 4:43 pm
she’s probably writing a “How to” book.
“How to become a fake lesbian and flush a career down the toilet while sucking cock for coke” – I see it having lots of pictures.
druggie | March 4, 2010 at 5:00 pm
That guy’s pupils are hugely dilated in picture 5.
The Laughing G-D | March 4, 2010 at 5:26 pm
@8 Yeah, you’re not religious.
gen | March 4, 2010 at 5:52 pm
@8
Wow, you’re really stupid…
Luthor | March 4, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Re: #8. Cristin …
OK, gang, we finally got rid of that stupid cunt Cristin. Now we can REALLY cut loose!
BTW, I got an advanced copy of Lindsay’s book. And I quote: “See Spot. See Spot run. See Jane. See Jane run. See Dick. Suck Dick, then swallow.”
Sarah | March 4, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Her mouth is all clenched up in the first picture, too…grindgrindgrind
Kay | March 4, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Her book will sell, that’s all that matters really. Someone will probably heavily edit it so that most of it isn’t even written by her most likely.
Xanthia | March 4, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Wonder if her book will require you to color inside the lines………..
Wonderful | March 4, 2010 at 11:07 pm
A book should provide her a nice flat surface to cut lines of coke on.
Enna | March 5, 2010 at 12:10 am
This thread is infinitely better than any book that has been could possibly cook up.
Shelly | March 5, 2010 at 12:22 am
Is that some weird photoshop? It looks like she is coming out of that guy’s chest.
uggs outlet | March 5, 2010 at 2:30 am
He’s above the hyper-publicity and is in a happy relationship.
evisu jeans | March 5, 2010 at 3:42 am
I must say this is a great article i enjoyed reading it keep the good work.
flash drive | March 5, 2010 at 4:27 am
hi,
I hope my kid does a book report on this. He’s a little bastard, always trying to look so good for school pictures.
captain america | March 5, 2010 at 7:56 am
but don’t expect more than three “FULL” pages, folks!!
ham | March 5, 2010 at 8:07 am
@15 You do see the irony in calling your own kid a bastard, right?
yyy | March 5, 2010 at 8:32 am
OMG!!!! Life is so cool !!! a good place for us Seeking for the stimulation—— R i c h M i n g l e.com —-i think u would like it,,,trust me u may find something make u excited.now join free