Lindsay Lohan’s Swimsuit Party

June 28th, 2009 // 168 Comments

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday at the Wet Republic pool in Vegas Saturday, and does anyone else find it hilarious they actually bothered to make her a cake? Surprisingly, she ate it which means she’s a fatty now and will never find work again. YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG, LINDSAY! MUAHAHA!

I’m going to hell.

Photos: Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN

  1. juls

    toooo skinny

  2. chjg

    what’s with the weird contacts? also, what’s with the superficial not being funny anymore?

  3. Defcon

    She’s 23 ? ?? ? Holy crap, cocaine is a helluva drug :D it makes u 10 years wait…18 years older then u look :D !

  4. Batgirl

    She used to be pretty… but then again, she used eat food.

  5. EK

    She’s so nasty she makes me involuntarily bulimic. Cover up that nasty freckled hide already.

  6. I love Lindsay more than crack!!

  7. looks so amazing
    leave lindsay alone!!

  8. kmm

    Pic #10, is that guy with the black hat sucking Lindsay’s cock?

  9. Dude, I’m not going to lie..that coral swimsuit is hot! I don’t think her contacts look bad. They’re pretty. She should in fact…try eating once in a while. It’s amazing what food can do for you =)

  10. Dread not

    Yeah, sure, they made her a “cake”. What was in that “cake”? Was it crumb a “cake” that conveniently crumbled into a fine white powder, when they placed it on the mirrored surface plate? And was said “cake” delivered via a “mules” rectum? In all fairness, Lindsay looks hot! As she ages and the hole she burns through her nasal cavity slowly causes her to experience “snow blindness” when she “powders her nose”, causes her to stop her partying ways. She’ll gain weight gradually over the years, thus having a quasi Suzanne Somers like hotness through her late twenties, on into her thirties, forties and beyond, well into her later years. Pulled that name out of moth balls, Suzanne Somers. Wait… Suzanne Somers… Chrissy Snow… snow…. blow… Lindsay Lohan… F’n weird,man! This is all banking on Lindsay not burning out all her brain cells, then deciding that she’s really a man named, Lincoln Lohan, or, Linc, for short, a la, Chad/ Chastity Bono. Lindsay with a penis she didn’t strap on… scary!

  11. Funeral Guy

    All those bathing suit shots and not one cameltoe…very disappointing.

  12. taz

    i would pump her so long and hard she would give up girls forever!

  13. Ardgelina

    those swimsuits r freaking adorable!!!! I love them all!

  14. Funeral Guy

    #10 Dread not…Dude, you gotta get yo self into a rehab.

  15. jojo

    Lindsay has major emotional problems! She needs serious professional help!

  16. jojo

    Lindsay has major emotional problems! She needs serious professional help!

  17. Damn…Id love to stretch her ass with my cock then watch her lick it clean…then watch her go over and cram her tongue down Samantha’s throat.

    Shes pretty hot when she isnt dolled up, dressed weird, wearing stupid heels or trying to be stylish. Shes more of a jeans & tshirt kind of slut.

  18. myface

    lookin rabid.

    why did pill popping death take michael jackson and not this retarded whore?

  19. kaylia

    all of the bathing suits = super ugly
    I know she’s broke but can’t she find anything better?

  20. Uglyshoes

    Why does she always have a phone in her hand? She waiting for her “agent” to call her with some work? And when I say “agent” I mean drug dealer, and when I say “work” I mean crack.

  21. Do FreeBird

    She is truly an American treaure.

  22. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    WTF, totally gross. What are those on her feet, flippers.

  23. Guy

    I’m guessing this party involved no swimming whats so ever. Just changing into various swim suits with matching shoes.

  24. igi

    so shes getting paid by showing up at her birthday party and modeling a line of swimwear. classy.
    thanks everyone for showing up!

  25. Since lilo retired from the jizz biz, things aint the same anymore! that red outfit is amazing, she does it justice but shes a little bit off for some reason…btw that ass is visually appalling….

  26. sin

    Look at all of that pussy around her. No wonder Lindsay is smiling. There is going to be a lezzie orgy for her b-day. She gets to unwrap all of the girls “presents”.

  27. lizzy


  28. Photo #10: Is that her muff hair in a bouquet?

  29. Mama Pinkus

    she’s looking a bit weathered; she needs to cut the extreme partying or her shelf life won’t extend to her thirties

  30. Something about her face in these pictures just looks… wrong.

  31. AMO

    She looked her best back when she was dating Wilmer. You know when she was her natural self w/ meat on her bones…

  32. cavy

    She’s so fucking BEAUTIFUL! Just wish she’d get healthy and eat some veggies! She’s my thinspo, but I’m doing it the right way!

  33. I'll eat your soul.

    Good, she needs to eat some damn cake. If she didn’t have those big floppy boobs she’d have the body of a twelve-year old.

  34. saywha?

    this is one chick who i don’t really care to see in a bikini @ all…excuse me while i hurl..

  35. Curves

    NO Thanks.

  36. datroof

    She’s hooked through the gills.

    She’s got a raging coke burn going on in her brain here. You can see it in her eyes.

    Too bad for her. She’s pretty, and talented. But she’s burning herself up.

  37. herbiefrog

    why ayou even posting… how are we gonna protect our welf n privlig…what ? why are you watchin us ?

    just diussapointed is all

    v v v v v v v sad people

  38. Alina

    I wish a thousand times be her and live her life. It’s so damn free and happy

  39. lindsey looks soo great. everybody is justjealous of how great of a body she has and in denial.she’s so cute.

  40. lolli

    23? She looks older than me and I’m 26.

  41. ew

    she looks like she’s in her 30′s or 40′s.
    her bones protruding out just looks gross.
    she makes me want to get fat.

  42. ew

    she looks like she’s in her 30′s or 40′s.
    her bones protruding out just looks gross.
    she makes me want to get fat.

  43. Regan

    i hate gingers. fucking freckles all over. and those horrible knees and fugly shoes.. other than that her body is -okay-, maybe a little on the skinny side.

  44. She used to be so hot. Remember the Santa outfit from Mean Girls?

  45. alex

    Honestly I can’t think of anyone else like her so she’s deffinately her own person and certainly lived more than most of her detractors, plus she looks like a naughty wendie’s girl which is pretty awesome.

    I love this site just because it reminds me how piggly brittney is, how ironic it is that aguilara is still hot and how much of a minx lohan is with her dark eye make-up rawr!

  46. @46

    WOW! I have forgotten that! Thanks for bringing the sexy back!

  47. Quinn

    Only 23 huh, Seems like ages ago she was young and hot. She’s not aging well.

  48. cheezy_poof

    WTF is with her really high belly button?

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