Lindsay Lohan’s probably going back to rehab

September 18th, 2009 // 58 Comments

The NYPD removed Lindsay Lohan from the Bowery Hotel in New York last night after she straight flipped her shit outside Samantha Ronson’s hotel room. Or what she thought was Samantha’s room because gin’s a tricky mistress. Hollyscoop reports:

Police were called to the scene after Lindsay reportedly “threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend’s door” during a heated fight.
The only problem was…she threw that tray at the wrong door. As a result Lindsay was kicked out of the posh hotel, with authorities escorting her off the premises.
The same source claims Lindsay’s friends and family are planning on staging an intervention to get her back in rehab for the fourth time!

How many times does a person have to go to rehab until the word “lobotomy” enters the discussion? Or if that seems a little harsh, let’s just lock Lindsay in a room loaded with coke up to her knees. She’ll either OD and die happy or snort her way through the walls facilitating her new career as a Black Ops agent for the government. “Alright, Lindsay. The terrorists are behind this mountain – and they’re holding. GO!”


  1. Earl "the snake" White

    yeah it was a tragedy!!

  2. Earl "the snake" White

    can you repeat the question?

  3. ROUGH daddy

    Nooooooooooo Lilo they’re gonna make you eat…

  4. Bella of NY

    shes a crack head

  5. Bella of NY

    shes a crack head

  6. Richard Glick

    Why the hell is a promo for that Sasquatch’s movie posted on here? Also, nice gutless move to turn off commentary on it too. Is this the appropriate place to promote a faux documentary about capitalism directed by an obese socialist?

    I’m wondering why you have to pay money to see this POS movie…seems a bit ironic doesn’t it?

    People are avalanched with political BS from EVERYWHERE else. Why poison the well here?

  7. EricLR

    Don’t knock it. You drop Lindsay into Afghanistan and, within the week, I guarantee the Taliban will be BEGGING to surrender.

  8. Valerie

    I ? NYPD

  9. I would fuck the shit out of that skinny little whore.

  10. Jrz


  11. jester

    I would fuck the shit out of that skinny little whore.

    You have to eat to have shit. That said, I would throw her around rough like.

  12. Your Vagina is Sore

    @6: Obviously you missed Fish cockslapping the guy posting the entire Communist manifesto on the Jessica Simpson post, so here it is again:

    “Comments are disabled on ALL paid advertisement posts for The Superficial. From VH1 Divas to Michael Moore. That’s not censorship and/or communism, dipfuck. It’s called capitalism. Look it up.

    The Superficial”

    It’s just an ad for a movie. Lighten the fuck up and bitch about something worthwhile. Like why this site keeps featuring this firecrotched cunt. SHE’S NOT A CELEBRITY!

  13. Jrz

    #9–porn sorta sells itself…know what i’m sayin’?

  14. JADE

    Someone needs to go check on Mr.Cow. I really think he was tipped and can’t get up. He could be hurt or something……….:(

  15. kris

    HAHAHAHAHA!! Girl is a dip shit!!

  16. Mel

    Funny how she is still accepted in Hollywood with all the crap she does. Speedind down the road chasing somebody while high. Running over some guys foot. Breaking in her own home. Just like Lindsey said “she can do what ever” she wants.

  17. chupacabra

    She makes me feel sooooo good about myself.

    I mean, I may be stuck in a steady, marginally creative job, it covers my health insurance, and has a lot of vacation time. I go home to a stable home life. I enjoy my martinis in the relative comfort of my home after work each day. I read. I watch sports and comedy shows. I sleep late on the weekends.

    People don’t call me firecrotch or make fun of me for pouting up my upper lip with dead bum tissues, like a god damned blow up doll. I don’t have hideous freckles all over my skin. My skin is smooth and white due to working in doors all year.

    I may be a little tired at the end of a long week full of deadlines, but at least I have something to look forward to. I get to have sex regularly without fear of a disease, and with a real man and not a fake-man anorexic lesbian dj who looks like uncle fester dying in a concentration camp. My hair is a natural color, and not straw-like.

    My mother is not Dina Lohan. Yea, I think I’m pretty fucking lucky at the end of the day.

  18. Randal

    Hang tough, Lindsay and know that all of us at The FISH, as well as your fan base, wish you well during these troubled times. Take as along as you need to rid yourself of the evil that has consumed you so you can get back to form making movies we all love.


  19. libz


    “People don’t call me firecrotch”
    I just literally LOL’d to that. Thanks!

  20. cc

    When did she turn 40?

  21. omg

    i can’t believe nobody’s asked this question yet but
    what the FUCK is she wearing?

    it’s like she finds the most repulsive thing that nobody else has ever bought and says “yeah. this’ll do.”

    i like her crackwhore craziness but i can’t stand her lack of style.

  22. Peter Pumpkin Eater

    If you fail at rehab 3 times, you don’t deserve to go for a 4th try. Give that chance to someone on the streets who has real problems and honestly wants to turn their life around…

  23. Sam I am

    What happened to her mouth? Has she been sucking hot light bulbs again. What a dork.

  24. PsyKo

    damn, she scares the hell out of me. Thanks for making my dick go totally lump… Hope I can revive it before the week-end is over…

  25. vet

    My cat has acne and it is still better looking that Lilo.

  26. mastermind1948

    Unfortunately, I believe that Lindsay is headed towards becoming another Hollywood statistic. She is a very likeable, very attractive, very talented young woman who has absolulely no self dicipline. I’m afraid she will be remembered as a “what could have been.”

  27. mastermind1948

    Unfortunately, I believe that Lindsay is headed towards becoming another Hollywood statistic. She is a very likeable, very attractive, very talented young woman who has absolulely no self dicipline. I’m afraid she will be remembered as a “what could have been.”

  28. James conway

    I know for a fact that Sam Ron was in LA. She djed the House premiere party.

  29. Socialist

    #6 Do you honestly think that capitalism has been a success? 100 million dollar bonuses for the people who have fucked the common worker seem fair to you? America sells 70% of all the merchandised military hardware on the planet and is constantly at war and yet afford health care and jobs to it’s citizens.
    I am sorry if Mickael Moore frightens you. Just don’t watch his movie. People like me will. OK?
    This coke whore symbolizes everything wrong with this nation. Most of us would have been jailed for this act.

    Have a great weekend.

  30. Richard Glick

    @29 Thanks for the rambling, incoherent response.

    It’s cute that you don’t see the absurdity in your own question, as you sit in a home built by a capitalist, using electricity generated by capitalists so you can type on the computer that was designed and built by a capitalist, communicated through the Internet on systems designed by capitalists, and on, and on, and on. All you so you can bitch about how capitalism is a failure.

    Gee. Hopefully one day we can all get high quality government-made products they have in the Russia…

    BTW, the only thing that “frightens” me about Michael Moore is the thought of suffocating to death under his massive taint, made fat on food bought with the money he makes in this free and capitalist society.

    While I know it’s highly likely that you don’t actually have a job…why don’t you go into your boss’ office on Monday and explain to him that capitalism doesn’t work and you’d like to stop furthering evil corporations by quitting.

  31. Sage Advice

    WTF is she wearing?????

    Is it me or does she look dehydrated as well as simultaneously animated and tired?

  32. leebyy

    She was in Texas, and Sam was no where near NY, get your facts straight!

  33. She’s not even worth the detox drugs they’d give her. Just drop her on a sunny island somewhere without suntan lotion and let her turn into one big freckle.

  34. redheadedstepchild

    Yeah. #32 speaks the truth. She’s in Austin shooting a film. She’s spotted downtown in Austin every day. Tweeter. Pretty easy to track her.

  35. Socialist

    Excuse me Richard Glick you idiot but capitalist don’t build anything, skilled workers and technicians do you moron. Capitalists find ways to screw those people out of their hard earned money asswipe.

  36. TrainWreck

    Train Wreck and now just headed to plain old carnage…someone just send her to the boneyard (pun intended)

  37. Nate

    Was a great story till you said “fourth time” we all know she has only gone to rehab once.

  38. Marisol

    Not only that, but it’s obvious she’s run outta money, considering she bought that jumpsuit at Target.

  39. Prince

    I bet her stank pussy looks like some rotten raw ass roast beef. I would stick it in her mouth though.

  40. kate

    DIE already…please! Just disappear…foever!

  41. Kbcan

    What a moron! Not because she pulled this stunt, but because she is too clueless to figure out these are the type of things that make her unhire-able in her profession. Or should I say ex-profession, since I don’t think she will ever have a comeback since she is very much damaged goods that no one wants to touch

  42. Annie Loves Anal

    Hey number six! thanks for YOUR political B.S. Now get yourself down to one of those teabagger rallies with the rest of your clueless, dimwitted cronies, and leave us to slam celebrities!

  43. Dread not

    Seriously, at this point, would there be a major difference between a non-lobotomized Lindsay and lobotomized Lindsay?

    “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lonbotomy!”

  44. mmaaxx

    damn the author of this definitely sounds like a fucking nerd

  45. Elizabe

    I love you chupa. Wow I needed that laugh and your comment today!!!! AWESOME

  46. Dr. Rosenrosen

    So weak now. I miss those Mean Girl salad days

  47. Richard Glick

    Hey #42. See post #30. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

  48. millionairegirl

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  49. Galtacticus

    Manic-depressive,check.Kleptomaniac,check.Nymphomaniac,check.Alcoholic,check.What else more?

  50. Darth

    Being escorted to the exit of a hotel.That’s quite awkward and embarrassing!

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