Lindsay Lohan’s parents are to blame

August 9th, 2007 // 72 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s former bodyguard, Tony Almeida, is speaking out, saying Lindsay’s ridiculous behavior was the cause of neglectful and abusive parents who saw her as a source of money. Page Six reports:

Once, when Lindsay was 16, Michael flew into a rage while driving and “slammed on the brakes and dragged her out of the car, pushed her up against the hood, screamed at her and called her a slut. This was on the Long Island Expressway! I got in the middle of it and pulled him off.”

Meanwhile, Dina often “let her do whatever she wanted, just to keep her happy and working . . . [At her 16th birthday party] Lindsay drank whatever she wanted – I saw her drinking beer and mixed drinks with my own eyes [without Dina's intervention].”

As Lindsay’s manager, Dina – who was desperate to become a star herself – received 10 percent of her income. “Lindsay was the family cash cow – and she resented it,” Almeida claims. “They counted on her to pay their bills . . . I saw Lindsay exhausted, begging her mother for some time off.”

Young Lindsay’s parents looked the other way as she began a life of boozing, boys and drugs. When she was 15, they allowed her to share a room with her then-14-year-old boyfriend, Aaron Carter, at Loews in Miami Beach. Almeida relates, “They knew Lindsay was sleeping in Aaron’s room. But they seemed happy she had chosen somebody who could benefit her singing career.”

It’s nice of him to share, but everybody already knows what kind of clowns Lindsay Lohan’s parents are. I could randomly buy better parents for Lindsay from a pet store. That dog in the corner trying to eat its own poo? Ten times the mother Dina Lohan will ever be.


  1. Geoff

    Linday and I shared an incubator at the hospital when we were 1 day old. Slut.

  2. ***

    Lindsay Lohan’s parents are to blame for making her!

  3. yeah
    u sux a lot…

    get a life, dude…

    dont be a bastard stalkin famous life


  4. jenny

    Not Frist, but close

  5. MassGrrl

    Wow, Tony Almeida worked for CTU *and* was Lindsay’s bodyguard? Wow, I’m impressed.

  6. Guy

    Lol fail number 2, fail…

  7. Guy

    Wtf are you talking about #4, this is Lindsay’s old bodyguard not some random stalker.

  8. LL

    Dammit, MassGrrl beat me to it. Now all we need is Jack to suspect Lohan of providing bioweapons or nukes to terrorists. Problem solved, after he gets done with her. Go with the straight torture, Jack. Drugs don’t work on her, she’s built up too much of a tolerance.

  9. Robert

    yes its genetic, she was destined to be a drunk, she is just long Island white trash

  10. criss

    Lindsay Lohan Pics Here

    (middle click to open in a new tab: you don’t wanna leave The Superficial!)

  11. Robert

    Tony Almeida ? isn’t that the guy from the TV show 24 ? Jack Bauers dead buddy ?

  12. No, I’m FRIST!!! , Jenny, you are frifth
    And, #1, that was funny
    #10, a long island sounds really good right now. I don’t even care that it’s only 8:30 in the a.m.

  13. criss

    Crap the html link wasn’t converted

    Lindsay Lohan HQ pics here:

  14. boohoo

    does she really have to keep pulling the “it’s because of my parents” card…. there are other kids who have worse parents. at least she has the money to help herself if she really wanted to

  15. ??to Linzayz dad: What kinda of father R U!!!!!!?
    Piece of zhit=only thinkz about hiz needz…
    ? and a zlutty mom that partiez..everyone needz
    a mom that iz Mrz. Clever?

  16. Annie Rexia

    Uh, Mrs. Clever 16? Don’t you mean Cleaver? Retard. I geuss “Mrs. Clever ” definitely isn’t YOUR mother.

  17. loveFIST

    I would still fuck her till she farts. I just would wrap the old meatsack in a 6-ply condom first. Drunk or sober, I bet Lilo’s a wild fuck. One dirty sanchez coming up…………

  18. RichPort

    Damn Robert… beat me by 19 minutes.

    I thought she was screwed because she sucked off the director of the Parent Trap?

  19. Elizabeth

    that’s unfortunate. I know everyone’s going to hate me for this, but I kind of feel bad for her.

  20. Lovely

    #16 (insert gay sunshine emblem) shouldn’t you be in summer school right now? aka.. the “beach” to you? (insert gay sunshine emblem)

  21. ssdd

    But in the end…. Blohan grew up and knew wrong from right…. ..she could have taken a different path. But obviously she has chosen not to.

  22. Shawna

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true – and if it is, her parents are so immature and selfish! i feel sorry for her – kids that are raised right don’t turn out like lindsay.

  23. Poesje

    #3, very true.

  24. Blohan's mom

    I taught her everything she blows, I mean knows.

  25. Matthew

    proof that dina is a party mom about seeing Hohan drinking beer and other cocktail’s at 16 DINA YOU SHOULD STOP HER NOT ENCOUGE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Dumbass

    So its the blame game ? she has a brain, she needs to try and use it and not make excuses

  27. Reli

    BS. i don’t doubt that her parents were neglective but the lohans have always been rich. her dad owned some big pasta company, they didn’t need lindsay as a “cash cow”. maybe to make even more money, but not to pay their bills.

  28. Does anyone here is the problem with her dad calling her a slut? That’s the best parenting I’ve heard out of those two in like.. FOREVER..

  29. Gerald Tarrant

    Some people are reading a different story I think.

    The ex-bodyguard is saying that Lindzers parents are the pieces of shit responsible for not laying down the law. Lindsay isn’t blaming her shitty parents because she’s a coked out boozehound that loves the cock.

  30. Are we seeing the future lifestyles of Britney’s kids here? Only with less hair and smelling of processed cheese?

  31. I agree, her parents are poor role models, but she had a choice. Instead, she followed in their footsteps. Bummer!

  32. WallyIsAFuckingDoucheBag

    “Lindsay’s ridiculous behavior was the cause of neglectful and abusive parents”

    uh fish guy? shouldn’t that read “…behavior was the ^result^ of neglectful and abusive parents”? i doubt her behavior caused them to be abusive and neglectful. Her behavior causes me to abuse myself, like soaking my schlong in turpentine, but i digress…

  33. jrzmommy

    So we’ll just file this one in the NO SHIT! file.

  34. kix

    Yeah, boo-hoo (#15), my parents treated me like crap and I am not a drugged out looser slut. What about that home alone kid. Didn’t his parents treat him like crap too and you don’t see him making an absolute ass out of himself. This chick may have had bad parents but she is responsible for being a moron.

  35. sounds like someone pulled a fast one on page six

  36. wedgeone

    #36 – Actually, Macaulay did get popped for pot and pills in his car a while back, so in fact, yes he did make an absolute ass out of himself.

    Sounds like Mom should go to jail with LiLo at the same time. Doesn’t matter though – the bodyguard is a money grubbing wanker to be stating the obvious to Page Six. The only part we were missing were the examples.

  37. Enough of Hohan! Bring on the dancing monkeys!

  38. actually, it’s my parents that are to blame. booyah

  39. Laura

    This website sucks. Who writes this crap? Whoever the blogger is is really unfunny. Like trying too hard to be sarcastic. I’m much dumber now for ready this garbage. At least is actually funny and ironic. This site is just lame.

  40. Bling

    Parents play a role in the “example” department of their children’s lives. However, they are not responsible for their behavior(s) once they are older. Uh, last time I checked, most people realize that drugs are addictive and make you crazy; alcohol lowers your inhibitions; and humping everything in sight will leave you with some funk ass dzs. On the flip side, parents should love their children enough to tell them no about things they know will hurt them or scar them. Who the fluck knows anymore anyway? And more to the point…Who cares? :p

  41. my comment

    SO tired of people hoping she’ll get help and ‘get better’. blah blah blah!

    Face it. She/they won’t. Ever.

    I hope the whole Lohan mob just drops dead.

  42. Terry

    There are several odd similarities between her parents, and Mozart’s parents; the only difference being that Mozart had actual talent.

  43. woodhorse

    kudos to #15: there are millions of sadder stories than hers (I see one down the street from me) and the kids end up having a lot more integrity than she does – more backbone, too. So her parents are hardly admirable – so what? If Lindsay has problems (and who doesn’t?) then Lindsay should fix them.

  44. td

    Pretty much a recipe for a screwed up 21 year old. Get to do anything you want no matter how inappropriate? Check. Talent–yeah some. Parents divorced and combattive? Check. Parents rely on you for support–emotional and financial? Check and Check. it adds up. Give this girl a break.

  45. Sauron

    I consider myself as an expert in recognizing and reading faces of caucasian.I bring them back all the way to the original ‘blueprint’ they’re reflected from.Lindsay’ mother is an easy lay (now you understand how i get developed my expertise) and trailertrash of the worst kind.

  46. Mama Pinkus

    Ms. Lohan needs to terminate all contact with her crappy parents, take a year off work, do serious rehab (as opposed to “celebrity rehab”), and get some desperately needed therapy. Yes.

  47. Lexoka

    Sure, it’s all her parents’ fault. She had nothing to do with anything.

    When I was 16 my parents weren’t always looking over my shoulders to see if I wasn’t drinking to much and strangely enough, I never became an alcoholic, nor a drug addict or anything. But I’m sure I was just very lucky.

  48. yeahrite

    lmao @ all the cyber hardasses who can just snap their fingers and change themselves and fix all their problems. And apparently did so right out of high school. Yep, you hear about that all the time, and it’s soooo easy, thankfully…otherwise there’d be a lot of problems in the world.

    She’s been away from those fuckups for a grand total of 3 years (but not really, given stickyfingered mom). She’s probably doomed by genetics alone in terms of alcohol and drugs, but in any case she just might need a couple more years to try to make a break from her first 18 years. Or, she could just contact somebody here and learn that fingersnap-fix thing.

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