Lindsay Lohan’s life is awesome

April 23rd, 2010 // 28 Comments

While her dad is threatening conversatorships or whatever the hell he has to say to keep him and his starfucker fiance mugging for the cameras, Lindsay Lohan is now being named as a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex. TMZ reports:

We’re told the watch belongs to one of Lindsay’s “friends,” who accidentally left it at Lindsay’s house earlier this year — and never got it back.
But sources tell us that cops have photographic evidence which could prove Lindsay knows exactly where the Rolex went. We’re told cops rolled over to Lohan’s pad Wednesday to question the actress about the Rolex — but Lindsay denied any involvement in the theft.

Of course she denied involvement in the theft. Every time the cops go over to her house she probably denies she’s even Lindsay Lohan then starts drinking milk out of a saucer and meowing.

COPS: Ms. Lohan, if we could just ask you a few-
LINDSAY: Cats don’t speak English. *lap-lap-lap-lap*

Photos: Fame, INFdaily

  1. xylus

    Where is that angry old testament god? Can he not smite these people? Unleash a biblical plague upon them and smite their heathen arses!

  2. I will give that bitch a roll of quarters and some baking soda to bang her.

  3. Lindsay needs to get a restraining order against her father…He’s crazier then she is!

  4. Attention Whore

    Put the bitch in jail…..

  5. rex

    Either that is the nicest dressed bum standing near Michael Lohan in these pictures, or his fiancee needs to stop shopping at Goodwill thrift stores, or making clothes out of garbage bags. What is with the 1980s Michael Jackson-esque jacket? and what in god’s name is she wearing on her legs?

  6. Sport

    Classy family.

  7. Ranger Rob

    Michael Lohan’s girlfriend has the fashion sense of an undead horde.

  8. It's Me Fuckers

    I want to believe he is doing this to help Lindsay. But he is such an attention whore and has been forever. I am hoping that in the end she DOES get help. I am also hoping he doesn’t try and take the credit for it if she does. What a fucked up family. Christ, bunch of fucktards.

  9. Bob

    Who cares about Lohan?

    I can’t stop staring at that Double Down sandwich

  10. Truth

    Fish you know very well when the cops show up at Lindsay’s house it’s not regular milk she’s lapping up… it’s man milk!

  11. CakeSnifferer

    Seems to me she’s been wearing a gold Rolex in the last few photos that have turned up here.

  12. boxerdude

    WHY DOES MICHAEL LOHAN GET PRESS??? who the fuck listens to some ex con nobody who has a famous daughter? THE GUY IS A FUCKING MESS. STOP GIVING HIM COLUMN INCHES.

  13. justifiable

    Seriously, people, can’t we charge Michael Lohan with crimes against humanity? Every time this parasite pops up he’s either attached to Jon Gosselin’s ass or trying to lamprey himself onto one of his daughters. Gitmo this fucker pronto and increase the morale of the whole country!

  14. How much money do paps get for taking Michael Lohan pics, on top of what Michael Lohan pays them?

  15. can?m amc?k istioo

  16. Oscar69

    And, I thought all pimps would be black men!!!

  17. Kelley

    These two make me even sicker than Heidi and Spencer do … yikes. A pair of school-yard mentality yutzes.

  18. Burt

    She won’t be going to jail any day soon. The owner admits he/she forgot the watch there (how fucking stoned and/or stupid can someone be to not notice that their watch is missing?). It’s possible she only found it months later and has no clue of whom it belongs to.

  19. captain america

    on the contrary: EVERY AMERICAN WOMAN IS SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS…………………………but nobody found it yet!!

    (this because the sick thoughts about money)

  20. on the contrary: EVERY AMERICAN WOMAN IS SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS…………………………but nobody found it yet!!

  21. Gueibor

    Every time he looks into a mirror, this guy sees that fucking face.
    I mean, really – have you seen that face?
    And yet, he has endured all these years without eating a hand grenade.
    I must say, I reluctantly admire his resilience.

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  23. Dinah Lohan's Publicist

    For Immediate Release:

    The Rumors that my daughter was fired from the Movie “The Other Side” are completely and totally false. The rumors were apparently started by Gossip Columists who do not understand the Hollywood System! To set the record straight – Linsay requested that the Producers pay her in the New Trident Layers Gum and during negotiations the Producers offered her Cherry-Lemon Flavor and refused to move from their position. Anyone that is a fan of my daughter KNOWS – She only chews Strawberry-Bananna Flavor. She found the offer unacceptable and amicably parted ways with the production of “The Other Side.”

    In addition, the rumors that my Lindsay’s prospects in Hollywood have dried up are 100% False! I can assure you that Lindsay is attached (along with her sister Ali) to star in a BLOCKBUSTER production by Mirimax to be released in 2011. Mirimax has assured me that this movie will propel Lindsay and Ali to unparalleled Levels of Fame and Fortune. Yes, the movie is the Big Budget adaptation of the Internet Sensation “2 Girls 1 Cup!” I personally have read the script and I wouldn’t be suprised if both of my daughters are nominated for an Academy Award! Also, while the moive is only in pre-production there is already talk of making this into a Trilogy similar to Lord of the Rings! (Yes, that is my little hint as to who will be directing my precious daughters!)

    To silence all the negative people who love to criticize my family. Both Lindsay and Ali auditioned for their LEADING Parts in “2 Girls 1 Cup!” They beat out A-List Actresses such as – Amy Fisher, Kendra Wilkinson, Heidi Fleiss and Bai Ling. The Producers exact words after watching my daughters audition were – “These are the roles they were BORN TO PLAY”

    Dixie Cup and Del Monte “Creamed Corn” have already signed on as Offical Sponsors! You can expect to see Lindsay and Ali in Commercials for the products starting in January of 2011! The ad campagin is SPECTACULAR! Not to give anything away, but my daughters will be doing a Duet for the commercials! They lyrics combine everything that represents the Del Monte and Dixie cup brands in a fresh, edgy and urban way. I wouldn’t be suprised if it charted in the Hot 100!

  24. Rhialto

    LiLo is mentally still a twelve-year old kid ofcourse.I’d trust her dad on doing his duty well this time.Bringing her behind four (insulated) walls or bars (asap) for professional treatment.

  25. So good!!

    Thank for topic.

  26. He still looks young in spite of being old. I must say he has maintained himself well.

  27. I think Lindsay and her father both are doing silly thing to each other and always in a news in Media . Her father doesn’t know that by doing all this he is just ruined the life of her daughter.

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