Lindsay Lohan’s Italian lover #1 tells all

January 7th, 2008 // 105 Comments

Alessandro Di Nunzio is revealing the intimate secrets about his night with Lindsay Lohan in Capri. Allesandro was the first man Lindsay hooked up upon arriving in Italy. As Allesandro later found out, he would be the first of three men that entered fire pants within 24 hours. Here’s what he told News of the World:

On Lindsay’s bedroom skills:
“Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous. Naked, she took my breath away. Lindsay is stunning. Her body is absolutely perfect. Flawless. She had an all-over golden tan and a few tattoos. On her right wrist was the word Breathe. She joked it was to remind her to keep breathing. That made me think she was pretty fragile.”

On the day after:
That afternoon, when he was in Rome, she sent him the first of several messages. She wanted to spend New Year’s Eve in the city and asked him to show her around.
But she failed to turn up, saying she had a sprained ankle.

On finding out her “sprained ankle” was an excuse:
“I was hurt and sad when I found out about the other guys. I think that’s the way things are with Lindsay. But she was very sweet and loving in bed. It was a good sex match.”

After learning Lindsay’s vagina is a 24/7 convenience store, I’m hoping Alessandro was “hurt and sad” because he was smart enough to buy a pack of Brillo pads and frantically use them on his nuts. It’s an old Indian trick I picked up at a reservation casino. Thanks for the tip, Puts Wiener Anywhere. You truly are a spirit guide.


  1. my comment

    He appears to be sleeping. She must be a dazzling conversationalist..

  2. OMG


  3. Guy

    Someone cover up her breath tattoo now.

  4. Lindsay

    My ankle was so sprained it really hurt when I peed.

  5. Salvio

    “surprisingly experienced”? To an Italian, that must mean she’s been with a man who didn’t have a hairy back.

  6. pointandlaugh

    LOL on the brillo pad. (I gotta remember that trick). I love that he was playing the sad innocent puppy and was SHOCKED about the revolving door, and “Open All Nite” sign on her coochie. LOL

  7. Hello

    “Fire Pants” – that made my day.

    Thanks SuperFish Dude.

    But I was wondering why I’m never first. I think you use AKAs and are always first.

  8. my comment

    I’m pretty sure the world ‘Valtrex’ with the registered trademark symbol is tattooed on her other wrist.

  9. Danielle

    I’m guessing Lindsay threatened to set off whatever virus she implanted into her Italian breeding hosts using a band-aid and a koolaid packet if they didn’t go to the media and “give praises” of how good she was in bed.

    She probably was about as good as a blind crippled man, with no arms and laser beams for eyeballs. Who could also disappear when the lights turned on.

  10. Alessandro

    “On her right wrist there were about 50 scars from superficial cutting. That made me think she was pretty fragile.”


  11. lobo solo

    i heard she needs $ , if she is banging 3 guys per night she could start charging these guys. 20$ a pop, she could make a fortune and she is obviously immune to STD’s.

  12. She was suprisingly experienced at giving free pussy? Big fucking whoop. I’m suprisingly good at having a huge penis. No news there.

  13. She was suprisingly experienced at giving free pussy? Big fucking whoop. I’m suprisingly good at having a huge penis. No news there.

  14. She was suprisingly experienced at giving free pussy? Big fucking whoop. I’m suprisingly good at having a huge penis. No news there.

  15. Paul

    If Lindsey’s vagina is a 24/7 convenience store, how long until we see pictures of Britney in there?

  16. yukadoozer

    She’s a professional, dipshit. A smarter women would actually get something from her skills-this dumbass settles for VD and tabloids.

  17. Matthew

    HOHAN is a sex freak

  18. Valtrex stocks soar amid demand…
    Lohan good in bed…
    Jason Davis mistakes brother, Brandon for Klondike bar…
    Jennifer Love Hewitt still washed up…

    Slow fucking day.

  19. ipanema_girl_turned_schuyler

    awwwww, he’s sooo cute! hey alessandro, I wouldn’t leave the morning after .. ! promised! ^_^

    pah. serves him right for pounding a bitch he barely knew 6 hours. idiot.

    #10: good call

  20. Danielle


    That’s the truth…(laugh)/

  21. commish

    Hey Lindsay? It’s a vagina, not a clown car!

  22. ipanema_girl_turned_schuyler

    anyway, what’s this constant shit about her abilities in bed? sounds like a pr stunt to promote her new movie, this strip trash movie .. (or has it been already released on dvd?). really, must be a stupid pr thing.

  23. steve

    Looks like #12-14 got a little excited while talking about his own dick.

  24. ipanema_girl_turned_schuyler

    #23 teehee

  25. Ted from LA

    Actually the Native Americans do tend to look at the nature around them after the birth of a child and name them accordingly. My Native American friend asked his dad how he came up with his name and his father said, “If a bear had been running by after your birth, we’d have named you Running Bear. If you were born in the mud we’d have named you Blackfeet. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”

  26. Danielle

    Bwahahahah @ #21!!

  27. ipanema_girl_turned_schuyler

    #25 *crickets*

  28. My Indian name is “daaaaaaaaaaaayum, that’s a big dick nigga!”.

    My Chinese name is Dik Hung Lo.

  29. #21 – Oh Commish, you slay me…

  30. I Visited the Grand Canyon and All I Got Was This STD

    “She looked a little melancholy when I said my hand hurt too much to do a fourth donkey punch. That made me think she was pretty fragile.”

  31. LayDeeBug


  32. JRZ


    Mamma mia! My-ah dick-ah hurts when I pee-ah……

  33. ScuttlingCrab

    You know what?

    As long as she doesn’t start doing black guys, I’m surprisingly okay with this. At least she’s slutting around with glamorous Italian rock-star-looking dudes.

    Lindsay is a slut, but a retro slut. She brings some old-school European glamour back to slutting. She could sleep with 10,000 Alessandros and she’d be cleaner than Kim K.

  34. 1MILF Hunter

    If she had as many pricks stuck on her as in her, she’d be msitaken for a porcupine.

  35. 1MILF Hunter

    If she had as many pricks stuck on her as in her, she’d be mistaken for a porcupine.

  36. FCS

    How do you say HPV in italian?

    My favourite part was when he said she was “surprisingly experienced”. fuck me that’s funny. Is there no internet in Italy or is this guy living in a cave?

  37. The one question that was not answered, was can she suck the chrome off a trailer hitch??

  38. #23 – Hey sue me, type key freaking sucks. What’s odd is it’s usually your mom that gets excited by my pecker. I know, high school insults… what can I say… I love the classics. Like: I’m rubber, you’re glue, Lohan is a whore.

  39. ph7

    Looks like she swapped her addictions from coke and booze to balls and cock.

  40. mary jane

    flawless??? what about her freckle covered body?? sick! she’s like a cheetah. ginga with freckles. yuk! she’s only good in bed coz she’s a slut. she needs to have at least one good thing about her! and it’s definately not the looks! even marilyn manson called her fire crotch! shame!
    what a dumb italian! haha!
    the saying for her is: DYE OR DIE!

  41. Danklin

    Apparently this guy hasnt seen many women naked if he things Lindsay’s body is perfect. I suggest he look up pictures of Jessica Alba in a bikini or even nude, stat.

  42. v

    39- “these are a few of my favorite things la la la la ”

    I also enjoy quiet walks on the beach, romance novels, weed, and sandwiches.

  43. ConvienienceStoreVagina

    The fish makes all this stuff up. If she was really doing 3 dudes a day like is implied here then someone would be getting pictures of sex acts and stuff like that. This hearsay stuff is such bull. A little proof please.

  44. Georgie Necks Zappola

    Lindsay’s body? Fuhgettabowdit

  45. northernlight

    “News of The World?” More like Bullshit of The World. Even if it is true, what’s up with this shithead that he sleeps with her then runs off to tell the story to anyone who’ll listen? Lindsay Lohan should come up here next time she wants some dick. Canadian men know, what goes on in the snowsuit, stays in the snowsuit.

  46. whatever

    #9 – some how I believe that she is probably good in bed. Practice makes perfect and she does, what, 20, 30 guys a day?

    Of course each and every guy pays for it for the rest of their lives. Fire crotch leaves no man unscathed.

  47. commish

    I’m on fi-yahhhhhhh! (But my panties aren’t).

  48. p0nk

    commish, “clown car” xrist, that was the winner of the day.

  49. dt

    Hello…I need to speak to Lindsay Lohan’s doctor please. Yes…Dr. Seymour Bush is it? I’ve got a problem here…I’ve got a male patient with something on his genitals I’ve never seen before. Yes, he slept with her last night. Who didn’t ? Ha. OK now, what’s the procedure? Holy water you say? And fire?!? Lots of fire. Check Hmmm…when do I apply the battery acid? And you’re sure this will work? OK, OK, I think I’ve got it. Thanks!

  50. “Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position.”
    —She’s fucked like every slimeball that ever passed her on the street. Why would it surprise him that she was expereienced and JADED?

    “Naked, she took my breath away. Lindsay is stunning. Her body is absolutely perfect. Flawless.”
    —Is she using a body double for these pap pics I’m seeing? She looks sickly, saggy and orange to me, like a 48 year old thrice divorced bar whore.

    And I love her more than anything else in the universe.

    @15. Hah. She’ll be in the restroom area barefoot.

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