Dina Lohan: ‘Lindsay’s going to die soon’

November 12th, 2009 // 66 Comments

Seen here doing what she does best last night, Lindsay Lohan is probably going going to die soon, according to the latest released phone call between Dina and Michael Lohan. RadarOnline reports:

In the phone call, which was recorded in New York, Dina tells her ex-husband and Lindsay’s father, Michael that, “time is running out with this kid. I know, I’m her mother and I feel it and I’m scared.”
She continues: “She’ll open up to you but it’s nothing compared to what’s going on with this kid. And don’t tell her I told you anything or try to weasel s–t out of her… she’ll tell you when she’s ready to talk about s–t. Right now all I know is she’s starting to drink and that’s bad.”

Anyone else starting to feel like these tapes are becoming increasingly anti-climactic? It went from Lindsay dating Heath Ledger when he died to she’s a cutter to she’s going to drink herself to death. Not exactly a mind-blowing revelation there. If an alien with absolutely zero knowledge of pop culture landed on Earth and saw a picture of Lindsay, I guarantee its first reaction would be “Wow, that bitch is gonna die.” Or if it’s an awesome alien, it’d express immediate concern for the world’s liquor supply. “Graknar computes depletion is imminent. To the space brewery!”


  1. Que

    Que no *bleep*, SHerlock.

  2. xbxzb

    Good. Linds-please make it VERY soon, not just soon.

  3. Sport

    Train wreck.

  4. whatever

    Oh come on. How many photoshoped “winkles” can they add to her forehead?

  5. Hanson Danson

    Seriously not cool if your parents are talking like this. I bet Dina was looking up caskets on Walmart.

  6. JADE

    What kind of father records conversations about wanting to help their daughter. Then to put it out there for all the world to hear. I don’t like Lindsay but damn I do feel bad for her right now. No one deserve what her father is doing right now. Low low low low

  7. Angel of Death

    The entire Lohan family should be lined up and shot execution style.

  8. joe blow

    Aw, she’s just saying that to make us feel good.


  9. Ellie

    The parents should be shot and sterilized. They should have never had children. They used the kids and are still doing so. Ali is following nicely in her sisters footsteps just not as famous. What do u expect and drunken abusive father and a mother who partied with her underage daughter and pushes them into infamy just for the $$$$.

  10. I would

    Not for nuthin but, I’d actually do her skanky ass now. I like em dirty and if she’s going to die soon I think it’s only fair that any willing Man and daring Woman get a turn. It’s the American Way!

  11. I feel really sorry for Lindsay right now,and I hope she can recover from this B.S. she needs support from the right ppl,but thats tough to get since everyone around her just wants her money….such a shame ):/

  12. dru2u

    The sooner the better. I’ve been needing an excuse to throw a kegger!

  13. I know this probably wont go over to well in the court of public opinion but what the heck I am gonna put it out there anyway.

    Lindsay is not the only young female drug addict in the world that is seriously teetering on the edge of something very, very bad. The difference here is that for the majority of these girls they really do not have parents or anyone for that matter that really gives a shit.

    Say what you want about her obviously fucked up money grabbing parents. Ya, their money grabbers alright. However, I have no doubt in my mind that they actually do care about her and would do anything necessary to help her get well.

    So, the deal with Lindsay is simply this, she has had every chance, every advantage possible that a human being can have in this situation. She had a brilliant career, one that was pretty much undeserved in the first place because lets face it, most of us have seen her movies and she cant act worth a shit. She was blessed with way above average looks, money, influence and the best rehab that is available anywhere. More than once. Do you think that most young drug addicts have these same opportunities? As a former street kid let me tell you that these opportunities and caring parents simply do not exist for these other kids.

    So, if she continues on the way she is, yes, she will not be alive to much longer. But, I for one will not feel sorry for her in any way because it is obvious that she brings all of this crap onto herself. I think we would be far better off giving this kind of attention to someone who truely wants to be saved. What do you think?

  14. The Only Optinion that Matters

    What is wrong with some of you? You need an excuse to throw a kegger?? This is a screwed up young woman that needs help. It is tragic, not something to make smart ass comments about. Do you have anyone you love or care about…would it be cool for someone to make a comment like that about them? I am a mother, and I so want to rescue this girl from this downward spiral and the pitiful excuses for parents that she has. What kind of father puts this stuff out in public and what kind of mother “parties” with her young daughter. No wonder she is fucked up, it’s not her fault, give her a break.

  15. Da Man

    I could turn this train wreck around.

    I just need time a house located about 3 miles from the nearest neighbor, with a nice basement. Four cases of duct tape. A riding crop. 200 clothespins.

    And a guarantee that nobody bothers us for 180 days.

    She’ll be a new woman by June. Promise.

  16. maric38

    I’m kinda sick of hearing about these tapes…I could really care less about these phone conversations. I’m sure just about any other celebrity’s mundane phone conversation would interest me more than what Dina and Michael have to say to each other.

    Btw, not meaning to complain to Fish…just find it funny that they are even getting any attention

  17. cheadles

    In other breaking news: water is wet.

  18. Now we know why Lindsay has such problems , get that girl in rehab and a perma restraining order for her parents

  19. Jon Gosselin


    I am a celebrity and I need a date. Your in my league. Lets have sex once before you die.


  20. pimp

    I’d plunder that beat up stink hole…

  21. jospeh

    anybody else thought picture #2 looks like anna nicole ?

  22. Poop

    Um, is she wearing pants?

  23. Poop

    Excuse me, but is she wearing pants in those pictures? Because I’m thinkin’ no.

  24. The Assman

    I think her mom’s just pissed the younger one didn’t turn out to be a big enough cash cow…what happens if Lindsey dies? We’re all f***ed!

  25. Chet from Weird Science

    When did she “Melanie Griffith” her lips?

  26. gotmilk?

    one can only hope.

  27. Suzie

    this is just so very sad

  28. Rough by popular demand

    She going to die soon? not until I get next…

    Well i dont or rarely club no more so im out….

  29. that’s probably the only thing that would make her interesting again

  30. maric38

    @17 & 19 love it

  31. EricLR

    I don’t think rehab is gonna cut it for that one. Is there some kind of super rehab? You know, the kind of place that could turn Tom Cruise straight and make Kate Hudson stop being a whore?

  32. beep beep

    lol @ #12: I love kegger parties with themes. \
    #14 needs to get the sand out of her vagina

  33. Ein

    Stupid girl.

    Just go do porn at once.

  34. Well, I really don’t want her to die, but I do really want her to go away and never be heard from again. How about we all agree to ignore her and her pathetic bids for attention from here on out? Theoretically if we do that, she might stop acting out since she’d realize no one cares….

    All of which is just me trying to appear sensitive, when in fact I’m really just a jerk and I want her to go away because she bores the hell out of me. There’s got to be some more interesting trainwreck-in-progress that you can cover than her, right?

  35. Toolboy

    #14 –
    I’ll try to answer your questions as best I can…
    I eat waaay too many Cheetos and I masturbate a lot so my penis is currently orange.
    No ma’am, I do not need an excuse at all.
    If the person I loved or cared about was a celebrity and it was on a celebrity smack down website and the person who said it was funny, then sure, fuck it, I know Randal will make up for all the bad things people say anyways….he’s full of butterfly kisses and Cosby sweaters…
    *there appears to be a fourth question, but it ends in a period..so I’m just gonna run down to 7-11 and get another bag o Cheetos…

  36. Annie Loves Anal

    Lindsay is going to do soon? Well, judginig from her leathery face, at least it won’t be from botox poisoning. Thank goodness for small favors.

  37. I got it figured

    I’ve got this whole thing figured out. Lindsay is insanely insecure (she has to have someone sleep with her, because she’s so afraid to be alone), bounces from person to person, from party to party, from addiction to addiction. She’s looking for 1 thing that she’s never had: someone decent who honestly loves her for who she is.

    I’m not volunteering, but what she needs is a guy to love her, to adore her, to honor her, to protect her and to be there for her. Not in a co-dependent way, but in a healthy way. When she finally gets that, she’ll immediately settle down. No more late nights, no more addictions, no more insanity, no more drama.

  38. missywissy

    Honestly, all of these “leaks” sound more like announcements. Attention whores. All of them.

  39. Jamie

    You mean she’s not dead yet? Wow.

  40. The only opinion that matters

    Hey dumb ass shit for brains #32….how did anything I say relate to having sand in my vagina? If you are going to diss someone, at least make it relevant. Relevant is in the dictionary, look it up. #37….well said.

  41. chaunce

    Her dad might be right for once.

  42. The only opinion that matters

    #35 Toolboy, gotta give it to you, pretty funny. Made me laugh. You are right, I did forget a question mark, mostly because it was a rhetorical question, we already know what kind of parents she has. Enjoy your cheetos!

  43. joho777

    You know that it’s the fault of those darn perscription drugs.

  44. Lazarus "Bubba" Tubbs

    “16. maric38 – November 12, 2009 2:29 PM

    I’m kinda sick of hearing about these tapes…I could really care less about…”

    I believe you mean you COULDN’T care less. Why do people always fuck that up? Probably the same people who don’t know the difference between “then” and “than”.

    As someone who has been sober for a number of years, I hope someone comes to Lindsay’s rescue before it’s too late. My god, she’s only a child. And her parents are real pieces of shit and should be horse whipped.

    I have children around Lindsay’s age and find this to be heart-breaking. If it were in my power I would wrap her in a soft, warm blanket and drive her to a rehab facility in my own car.

    Of course I’d fuck her first. Jeeez…I’m not stupid!

  45. ugh

    Those are some yellow-ass teeth.

  46. pdxfacehole

    I will blow you and you and you and you and you and you. And you and you and you and you and you.

  47. pdxfacehole

    I will blow you and you and you and you and you and you. And you and you and you and you and you.

  48. your web site very good..

    this very thank you..

  49. No!

    She can’t die!

    My life would be empty without her drama to feed my celebrity drama needs.

  50. No pants. I like it.

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