Lindsay Lohan’s friends: ‘She’ll never quit the penis’

August 15th, 2008 // 70 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has an undying love of the cock. Or at least that’s what her friends are telling OK! Magazine. Sure, maybe they didn’t use those exact words, but I dare you to draw a different conclusion. No, scratch that. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!:

Apparently LiLo has already been flirting with guys, and cracks seem to be appearing in the relationship. On August 5 at the Delano Hotel’s Florida Room, Lindsay, 22, cozied up to other men whenever Sam left her side.
“Lindsay was laughing and giggling with these guys,” an eyewitness tells OK!.
“Lindsay is the aggressive one in the relationship,” an insider tells OK!. “Sam tries to focus on Lindsay, but it’s never enough.” Another friend adds, “Lindsay has to be the center of attention, or she’ll flirt with other guys to make Sam jealous.”
Lindsay’s friend says, “She’ll be with the next guy who catches her eye — she can’t help it!”

Oh yeah, Lindsay Lohan’s playing this one real smart by flirting with other guys. Because Samantha Ronson doesn’t look at all like the jealous Single White Female-type who will stab you in your sleep. She wears a fedora, people!


  1. Samantha Ronson

    Suck my fetid cunt juices

  2. neptune

    …They already said they weren’t lesbians.

  3. Lindsay Lohan

    num num nummy

  4. A Shot At Love w/ Lindsay Lohan

  5. Man, this is gonna get ugly. Sam seems straight-up looney.

  6. 2for2true

    Not that Samantha Ronson even vaguely resembles a woman anyway…this hardly even qualifies as a gash crash.

  7. Virgodoll

    Ofcourse she won’t, no girl in her right mind would

  8. jaime

    i love it when it says “or she’ll flirt with other guys to make Sam jealous.”
    OTHER GUYS means sam is 1 guy!

  9. steve

    You people say what you want, but she is the one dipping into Lindsay’s honeypot every night and you’re not.

  10. pistolita

    lindsay lohan has the strangest shaped legs… she’s pretty thin, yet her inner thighs are all squished together as if she were overweight. it’s unfortunate, really.

  11. Sam

    Once a girl chokes down that first thick ropey salty gob of throat-pulsing semen, she’ll never be satisfied with those…things… that look like ugly hairy guys in oversized cargo pants.

  12. this is based on the assumption that sam morton is a crossdressing man who poses as a woman who looks like a man so he can get celeb pussy that is posing as a lebian for publicity.

    i hope that is clear enough for you all newbs.

  13. Rant

    That honeypot contains rancid honey. So I am glad I do not partake dipping into it.

  14. Ted from LA

    When did she start dating Howdy Doody?

  15. The Office Whore

    When I see her, I think, “step right up! step right up and win some crap!”..

    Maybe it’s cause I had to hang at the county fair last night. Or it might be that I’m hungover..

  16. Good GOD look at her!!! The methodone is apparently not working..

  17. Ok, if I were a lesbian, you can GUARANTEE, my girlfriend would be a hot blonde with a nice rack. What is Lindsay doing with that shitbag? Obviously LOTS OF DRUGS.

    Hm. Maybe I should hang out with them…..

  18. Barak Obama

    Bu the look on LiLo’s face in pic#2, it already looks like she got a bit of the penis that night.

  19. The Office Whore

    FRIST!!! No shit, eh?? These two are as good of a couple as waffles and cocaine.. mmmm, waffles..

  20. stoplookingatme

    Umm… “cracks seem to be appearing in the relationship”? Pun intended??

  21. LaraCroftsmole

    So what this article is saying is LIndsay is an unfaithful little whore? Wow well who could ever have guessed THAT!

  22. Whore, ALWAYS eat the waffles first, you won’t be hungry after the cocaine..

  23. super N

    The road she took out of Wienerville is a two lane highway, fortunately for her.

  24. Nathiest

    Who are these “friends” that always seem to talk shit about their celeb friend to magazines? I say BS! BS! BS!

  25. Nathiest

    Reading responses,

    Wow you people are just a bunch of sad losers! Why do you all take this story and other such stories as fact? Not everything you read is true morons!!! Fucking sad sheep the whole lot of you. Oh that is true btw.

  26. sharpeidude

    Sounds like the publicity stunt is starting to grow stale.

  27. NY Ted

    Cripes…I don’t care…sure LiLo has enough baggage behind her especially for only being 22 that it would cause a bell-hop to have a stroke!

    But I’d give her my penis…I’d split her like a lumber-jack chopping fire wood…!

  28. Langdon


    how many times has LL been arrested, drove drunk, went to rehab, etc. since she started dating Sam? none. because gay relationships are more stable and meaningful than straight relationships. also gay people make 70% more money on average because they’re smarter and more put-together than breeders.

  29. rough daddy

    ofcourse,,,,my prediction will come true,,,soon or later shes going to pull an Ann Heche on top hat over here….

  30. Sam

    I agree. Sam Ronson definitely looks smarter and more put-together than a straight woman.

    “breeder”? Really? You’re just trolling, aren’t you? Most lesbian couples are breeding these days, with assistance. It’s a very outdated slang term.

  31. Turd Ferguson


    1) You are an idiot.
    2) Give it time for dumbass to get arrested before her next attention grabbing stunt.
    3) Where are the stats to back up your ramblings?

  32. JPRichardson

    Beautiful legs! But I still can’t take away those awful MM-esque pics with the saggy boobs, slutty wig and abscence of waist and hips…

  33. rough daddy

    langdon?#28 keep believing that, if it makes you sleep well at night…

  34. L Wilbs

    What do you know!? Another glossy eyed cracked out ugly moviestar with a lot of hair dye, makeup, starvation and lack of talent. Some old same old.

  35. Bollox

    No matter what happens Lindsay’s hot and I love her, and would give her one. But once she’s mine, she’s mine, she be lookin’ at another guy, I be slappin’ her down. Another gitl’s ok though, but not that rat-faced Pete Wentz lookalike.

  36. bart



  37. JoshLavarn

    Samantha Ronson is beyond disgusting. Friggin she dresses and looks fuglyier than most guys that go to comic book shops. Yuk. The “new kids on the block” lamo retarded hat is the killer.

    She needs to go on “what not to wear” so Stacy London can toss her crappy t-shirts into a trash can and burn it.

  38. twzzlrgirl

    You got it right, FRIST!

    If I’m gonna be munchin carpet, it better belong to one hell of a hot woman, or i’d stay straight. Why switch teams only to date someone homely and gross? I don’t get it. Even for attention…it just doesn’t seem worth it. Can you imagine getting into bed with THAT every night? Blick.

  39. twzzlrgirl

    PS — do you think she leaves the hat on during sex?

  40. Vince Lombardi

    LiLo is simply too (dare I say it?) superficial to have a meaningful relationship with anyone. She’s bedding down with DJ Dyke to shock and awe people and jump start a career that would otherwise be preceded by the label “recently rehabbed” Lindsey Lohan. I mean, isn’t that what people were saying about Robert Downey Jr.? Can he pull off “Iron Man?” He’s a (gasp!) drug addict! If she weren’t hanging with the flavor of the day (tuna?) she’d simply be Lindsey Lohan, damaged goods. Instead, she’s Lindsey Lohan, experimental lez. As soon as she gets a good movie gig and earns some dough, she’s going to throw Ronson under a bus.

  41. Sandwarrior

    You guys are just missing it all together, LiLo is just the submissive in the arrangement. So when do we get to see her in chains and leather…….. and Sam with the whip.

  42. Sweet Jane

    Sometimes I read the posts on here and I think it’s no wonder Lindsey is pretending she’s a lesbian. How can there be so many guys who think saying “I’d hit it” is cool? When anonymous, how can so many guys think typing references to sucking on an anus is interesting or titillating? One or two, sure. But not so damn many….

  43. Betsy Ford

    Lindsey looks hella drunk in all these photos.

  44. bonespur

    I don’t know why but this sort of pisses me off…

    If Lindsay is playing Samantha like a video game that makes her a real cunt!

    If, on the other hand, she really cares for her but her feelings are changing then that’s something else altogether. Relationships do change.

    Can anyone spell NIM-FO-MAY-KNEE-ACK?

  45. ganana

    L.L. has that “corpsey” look again, like she’s back into drugs and alcohol.

    Lindsay, why oh why don’t you chuck it all and buy a little cottage in northern California or somewhere, plant a garden and leave all this shit behind? You’re gonna die or something if you don’t.

  46. fddf

    Judging by that pic, looks like she’ll never quit the blow either.

  47. oshkoshb'goshdamngosh

    This looks like a nice young boyscout helping an old lady cross the street. You people should be ashamed. Not for any particular reason, just because I say so.

  48. #9. And thank God for that! My penis is telling me that tapping that rather homely ass would not be in its best long term interests. You gotta’ respect the penis, …

    #28. “because they’re smarter and more put-together than breeders.” You forgot to mention that gays also suck cock and allow other men to fuck them in the ass. On balance, I think I’ll stick to breeding.

    #38. The implication may be that “Sam” munches carpet much better than the typical dude, at least the ones that Lohan fucks. Guys that bang her want publicity, but know her rep, and I’ll bet that most have no interest in touching her with anything that isn’t double bagged.

    I personally don’t understand why more women aren’t lesbians, but thank God that most are wired to love the schlong, …

  49. #18. Jesus fucking Christ, yet another product of the Mississippi public school system? It’s “Barack”, not “Barak”. Ask your mom to show you how to use “the Google”, … fucktard.


    Gotta’ laugh at the headline: Aug 15 2008Lindsay Lohan’s friends: ‘She’ll never quit the penis’

    Uhh, are we absolutely certain that with Ronson she actually has QUIT the penis?

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