Lindsay Lohan’s dad won’t see photos (Riiight)

February 20th, 2008 // 85 Comments

While Dina Lohan thinks Lindsay’s nude photos are the second coming of Christ, Michael Lohan has yet to see the topless shots of Lindsay as Marilyn Monroe, according to Us Magazine:

“I’m not going to look at the photos — that’s my daughter!” he told Usmagazine.com in a telephone interview this morning.
“Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career,” he said. “It’s her decision.”

Michael Lohan hung up the phone then looked down at the coffee table. There, almost tauntingly, sat Lindsay’s issue of New York magazine. And then it spoke: “Michael, dude, seriously.” Michael Lohan shrugged his shoulders and said “Shit, I can’t argue with that… Eww. Why are they sagging like that? Gross!” Michael Lohan walked away and went looking for the Sears catalog.

Photos: New York Magazine, Splash News
superficial

  1. Debagger

    Not first:(

  2. The Office Whore

    FIRST you wheezing cunts

  3. Trover

    Sadly, it is too late for me. My corneas were already synged looking at her nastiness. She is just a freckled troll.

  4. brianj

    Hotter with clothes on…..eyes are burning

  5. Michael Lohan

    Why should I look at these pictures? I become reeeeeeeeal familiar with Lindsay’s body back when she peaked (about 5 years ago). I’ve seen her mom naked. I already know what these pictures would look like.

  6. The Office Whore

    @2. ahahaha. I have no idea why I find the cussing first trolls amusing..

    but fuck off anyway..

    I want to know what Heath’s OTHER life was……. does that mean he’s still alive? bad joke, eh? yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah…

  7. D. Richards (Worthless.)

    Right — It’s not like Father Lohan hasn’t already seen every conceivable inch of Lindsay’s body.

    Who else do you suppose taught Lindsay to shave her crotch? Exactly.

  8. Photographerwannabe

    Me neither.
    Any s”tartlet” would covet the attempt to “recreate” an image of a genuine icon like MM. Amazing with all the crap in LL’s personal life this is getting that much publicity. (and she and her management are loving every bit of it)
    Well played.

  9. Michael Lohan

    Let’s put it this way – I know what I look like, and that’s all that matters. Rehab taught me that. Like all good fathers, I also know what my fingers smell like with Lindsay on them.

  10. Now if there were Jessica Simpson’s dad, the pages of the New Yorker would already be stuck together..

  11. Now if that were Jessica Simpson’s dad, the pages of the New Yorker would already be stuck together..

  12. I already rubbed one out to the pictures yesterday. I wish I waited until today, because it’s so much better to imagine being her dad and looking at the pictures. What dad doesn’t get wood when his daughter hits puberty?

  13. Jennifer

    I am just a bit curious…Why her profile was found on millionaire dating site ‘BillionaireCupid dot com’ last week? I will check it again.

  14. mike

    If that were Jessica Simpson’s dad, her eyelids would be stuck together.

  15. Vas Deferens

    Firecrotch! Yuck! Lindsay looks gross naked. Black and white is even worse. Nice skin, bitch!

  16. Arvid from Head of the Class

    She looks good on the cover. I can’t wait till she does Swank.

  17. deacon jones

    If that were Mikes dad, he’d have his cock in his ass.

  18. Ed

    #12 – I think that’s true for most dads and daughters, but people are very uncomfortable talking about it. I think it’s normal as long as the dad channels all that libido in a non-harmful direction, like beating off. As long as your fantasies stay fantasies, you’re harming no one, and it DOES reduce the “pressure” so to speak. But for sure, don’t tell any of that to your wife!!!

  19. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    Why are the photos so bad? Although Lindsay is completely fucked up I always thought she was pretty attractive. But here? She looks very sick and as if she’s 60!

  20. hi-priced call girl

    Saggy ass tits.

  21. mike

    If that were decon jones troll’s dad, he’d say “get your own identity, loser.”

  22. Jimbo

    rub rub rub one out. rub rub rub one out.

  23. deacon jones

    Sorry my friend. That one was me. I think you’re a fucking idiot. So is my troll. But I think you take the cake on retardedness.

  24. God, what the HELL is wrong with her face??? Oh right…it’s her face..

    Whatever, the only thing that REALLY matters right now is that I am NOT enjoying my sandwich :(

  25. at least you can’t say they’re not real

  26. The Office Whore

    @22. Jimbo troll. That was kind of funny, in a gross way..

    FRIST!!! Well, if the bread was beer and the cheese was a shot of crown you’d like it. That’s my favorite kind of sandwich……. besides a harrison ford/ clint eastwood sandwich. 20 years ago..

  27. O.W., you are dead on once again. Hmmm…I do work right next to a sports bar…

    Be right back!!!!!

  28. SpotsBeforeMyEyes

    @22 – funniest thing all day. Are there 2 more people to join in the singing behind you? Are you at a campfire?

  29. Grunion

    Fuck off with these pictures allready. Seriously, her freckles are giving me convulsions.

  30. mike

    “But I think you take the cake on retardedness”

    The word is retardation.

    Tough one, that. Sort of like insulting somebody about his lack of coordination while slipping and falling to the floor, splitting your pants in the process. Takes the edge off the insult juuuuuust a bit.

  31. old yeller

    WHY DIDN’T THEY PHOTOSHOP THE SUN DAMAGED SKIN OUT?? IT’S ALL I CAN LOOK AT.

  32. deacon jones

    Hey mike, can you put this in your mouth until the swelling goes away?”
    Thanks.

  33. murderXmayhemXmadness

    #18 — I really hope you’re joking. Dads being sexually attracted to their daughters is not normal, even if they’re just “fantasies.” Gross.

  34. #12 – To borrow a well worn cliche “that just made me throw up a little in my mouth”. You apparently have no kids. I would keep it that way,

  35. Norton

    Not too many years ago, I would have eagerly used her soaked tampons as chewing gum and dental floss. Now…eeeesh. Honestly, I’d rather fuck Britney. Greasy screaming pimpled flubber is an image that’s easier to erase from your mind than sex with a postmenopausal 21-year-old.

  36. mike

    deacon – that was “swollen”??? My sympathies, dude.

  37. #34 – I’ve got an ATTRACTIVE daughter. Apparently you don’t.

  38. mike

    although your penis juice tasted nice in my mouth. I’m still holding it in there.

  39. god she is so ugly she doesn’t even come CLOSE to Monroe. What is she even thinking? The wig looks so fake and she needs a boob lift and she has way o many freckles, she is just plain ugly its an insult to the real Monroe pics.

  40. Chupacabra

    Obviously, this speaks to me. DO NOT HAVE KIDS OF ANY KIND.

  41. mike

    “penis juice” lol. Good one #38. High in riboflavanoids, I’m betting.

  42. brennie

    #39. Yes! all that money for the shoot, the shooter, etc and they use a crappy Party Store Marilyn wig? Even if these were good pics (and they are not – her skin is trashed. Where’s the photoshop artist on this?) they would still be ruined by that awful awful wig.

  43. Analyst-Therapist

    “Dads being sexually attracted to their daughters is not normal, even if they’re just “fantasies.”"

    If that were true, there’d be no such thing as the “incest taboo” because they’d be no need for such prohibition. Instead, it’s one of only a handful of beliefs shared by almost all world cultures.

  44. There. I feel better now..

    What’s for lush??

  45. #37 – Uh, no, dick, you have a daughter unlucky enough to have a dad that sneaks a peek down her shirt when she dicks something up off the floor. People like you would think their daughter was “attractive” if she was ruthless and toothless. Daughters aren’t attractive, unless you’re a Jewish or Hispanic mother trying to find them a spouse. Nice try sicko.

  46. Flavio

    “I am not going to look at those photos” – translation: I have already injured my wrist from wanking to them

  47. #45 – “have a dad that sneaks a peek down her shirt when she dicks something up off the floor”

    Pardon me, Rich, but your slip is showing…

  48. Michelle LL

    Nasty thread with nasty people on it !

  49. #47 – Yeah, ok. Let’s hope your wife/ daughter/ baby mama/ unlucky idiot to pop out your seed doesn’t catch daddy whispering his little girl’s name when he has his monthly 30 second sex romp with her. I mean that could be embarassing. Here’s a thought, try to work that little tidbit over a friendly round of beer at the local bar… “Yeah guys, have you seen the TITS on my little girl? Oh boy, if I wasn’t her dad… I mean, you guys watch your daughters shower too, right? RIGHT? No, me either, I was just kidding… guys where are you going???”

  50. The heavily decayed corpse of Ann Landers

    I had a letter writer once, a dad, who said he and his tomboy daughter used to wrestle all the time when she was young, and it was lots of fun with lots of laughing and all that. Then the dad said his daughter hit puberty and started to develop physically, and after a little while he realized it just wasn’t the same thing, so he found ways to avoid the whole wrestling thing until she grew out of it on her own. It was a very honest letter. The dads who say that things don’t change when their daughters go through puberty are the ones to worry about, because they’re lying to themselves.

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