Lindsay Lohan’s dad is a holy man
Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan apparently is a cheating bastard. A Long Island woman has been dating Michael for the past four months; only to find out he has a new girlfriend. Page Six reports:
“We fell in love – there was ‘I love you’ and everything. He told me that he was going to change my life. He’s very sexual, I thought we had great sex. Sex is very important with him.”
But this week, Michael began crowing about his new girlfriend Erin, a Lindsay look-alike, and pictures of them surfaced in Utah, where he was visiting his rehabbing daughter.
I’m actually not surprised that Michael Lohan is dating someone who looks just like his daughter. Not even fazed. I was however amused at this piece of information:
She says she was particularly jolted because Michael has become an ordained minister. “When he was melancholy once, I asked him, ‘Is there someone else in your life?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘Who is that?’ and he said, ‘God.’
I can almost hear Michael Lohan picking up chicks at the bar: “Oh yes, I’m very religious,” he’ll say. “In fact, I’m a minister. Would you like to come and pray with me? I’m building you a steeple right now – in my pants.” I’m almost 90% positive he stole that line from Moses. Or was it Noah? I’d open the Bible and check myself, but whenever I touch one, my hands start to burn and I hear this really deep laughing. I should probably get a new one, but with the traffic these days, I don’t know if it’s worth it.