Lindsay Lohan’s entire crazy email has been leaked and it makes even less sense than you thought it would.
Subject: The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all.
But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my oppinion. Having said this, I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be.. And have thus far in my career. Let’s sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character. Amongst other illegal accusations, I will repeat this over and over to make my point. I am not fully aware of what these, again, accusations are, but I am fully and eagerly prepared to learn them. Have harvey and all lawyers help me please. If he is willing. Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I’d really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone. I’m willing to hold a press conference and I will do anything necessary to do so. In putting an end to ‘these people’ trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I’ve gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Its enough already, I’ve had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change. For all of my fellow actors, friends, people I admire and for those I’ve lost in the recent days, years, months. I do believe the focus in the world has misplaced and directed in the wrong directions and I am willing to be the one to help change that and use my celebrity status to move the focalpoint /(s) of the press to the real issues that we have going on as we speak. Anyone that is willing to help and has a family member or friend, even co-worker that is in a position to be involved in any way, shape or form, please contact me, Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg as soon as you can or are willing. Just ask them, it doesn’t hurt to ask. So let’s start now, rather than waste time. Do you agree? Because I’m doing it either way. The way of the future. Thank you for your time. Your Entertainer, Lindsay Lohan Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.
Al Gore, save me! I don’t think it is fair for so many women to laugh at my tiny penis. I tried praying to Jesus, but my little pecker is still limp! JUST ASK! Hillary, Bill, Oprah, Democrats, what can I do about my aggressive circumcision? Republicans won’t help me.
I’m not adequite.
Hopefully, this will be the last entry about her EVER AGAIN.
Goodbye, Lindsay. Nice forgetting you!
FYI fellow Lohan fans: According to that bastion of integrity, Page Six of the New York Post, the mysterious “LR” mentioned by Linds above is none other than her former Personal Assistant, Lindsay Ratowsky.
As it happens, LR is now Jessica Biel’s PA, & the 2 were out together @ the recent GQ Men of the Year awards dinner. When LL arrived & saw LR there, PG 6 claims she “started screaming, ‘If she stays, I’m outta here! I can’t look at that girl! I can’t believe you would allow an assistant in here – she doesn’t belong in here!”
Now what LL did not “scream” but hints at in her letter, according to PG 6 she suspects Ratowsky of being the dirty rat behind a recent tabloid article accusing our dear heroine of a drug overdose.
OK, enough of that tattle tale & onto MY response to the above letter. Our Lindsay, the one & only that is, is right – Mean people suck. Slander HURTS. Jealousy is ugly. & LL ought to know, having recently been awarded the 2nd most hated-on Hollywood celeb, behind only Satan’s # 1 superstar cheerleader/Pandora’s Box herself, Paris Hilton.
Take it fr 70′s rock star/lead singer of The J Geils Band Peter Wolf, when he tells the truth Ruth, in his live intro to “Musta Got Lost”: “Well, she opens up the door & then you just kinda walk up to her & say ‘Baby, say Baby.’ You look up, way up @ her green mascara & you say, ‘Oh my darling, you know her & me was @ the party as friends – do not believe what they say, that’s only gossip that they tellin’ ya – a wise crack o’ lies!’”
I say baby, celebrate our celebrities! & power to the people who speak out, freak out, reach out to inspire change. For if only the media would cease spreading ugly rumors about our stars, & desist fr telling lies that are spoon-fed to them by our government. & if only people would care to pay more attention to & investigate themselves as much as they can of what’s really happening here. Then maybe someday we might stop hating & hurting each other so much, stop starting wars based on lies like the mess we made of Iraq. Maybe babies.
BTW funny kidding of LL on Lohangroupie.com by eugene: “I admire Lindsay for her ability to use a blackberry while slamming back shots of colourful, faintly-familiar liquids while forgetting to put on her underwear. I wish I could multitask as well as her! Kudos Lindsay! Finally, a celebrity who knows what a run-on sentence is and liberally uses it!”
& a smart comeback fr LG’s bebe: “She’s typing on a freaking Blackberry…jeez.”
Finally I must say I just LOVE how Linds signs off: “Your entertainer, Lindsay Lohan.” — Can I get a, HELL YEAH! I tell you what darlings, she IS The People’s Entertainer.
The more they hate on you, the more I can’t help but love you. Your fans understand & we’re w/you all the way. Let them all talk. Lindsay rocks, BS walks. Don’t let the bastards grind you down, girl. LOHANARCHY for the USA!
Explaining the identity of LR misses the point. Explain how LL has an effect on younger and older generations. Why? What did she ever do?
You couldn’t possibly love her any more than she loves herself. She’s not an entertainer, she’s a performer. She’s easily replaced by computer animation.
@153: Lindsay, is that you??
The rambling nonsensical writing would indicate so.
PS: there are no “fellow Lohan fans” here you fucking tool box.
I HONESTLY feel so bad for Her. I mean the poor girl has obviously fallen into a dark whole, for the whole world to see. It just isn’t fair. I am sure we’ve all at one point or another felt just as lost as she does, and I hate to say it, it IS the damn “people” who did this to her! I HOPE she finds her way, I PRAY she finds her way. LEAVE her the FUCK alone, she doesn’t deserve this! Anyways whoever gives her the time a day, cares in some way wether it be good or bad, so Hell, give it up already. GO get a Fucking life and leave hers alone!!!!
154 – Techclerk asks me how Lindsay has had an effect on younger & older generations? I never said that she has had an effect, but in fact, she has.
There are 157 comments already on here for starters on just this one topic alone. Now she may not be pushing the envelope the way you’d like because she’s too busy tearing it & herself a new one in the process. Why are all these folks hating on her except perhaps that something about her gets right up their noses?
She’s growing up & throwing up & blowing up in public – she’s only 20 years old & she’s waving her right to remain silent. She’s saying hell no to a world where, in the words of the Clash, “you grow up & you calm down, working for the clampdown.” She’s letting her freak flag fly high & the whole world’s tuning in even if they’re not really listening because their minds are nowhere near as eyes wide open as hers. She’s grappling to come to sense w/a life full of endless possibilities & dead-ends, searching for kicks & truths that somehow mesh.
Seems to me you must all be jealous as hell because no one notices your successes & failures on such a grand scale, because if they did you wouldn’t be so angry about hers. How can she be wasting your time if it is so damn valuable? But somehow you have so much time available to slam & wish a young girl dead. It’s called misogyny & it’s pathetic.
Techclerk says “she’s not an entertainer, she’s a performer.” Au contraire, mon frere. She’s keeping all you folks plenty entertained right here & now. She may not be you’re kind of entertainer. You may not be ready for her. Not yet. She’s moving too fast for you for now, but someday…
Re: 156 ImmaAssClown commented about my previous rant… “Lindsay is that you?” Cute.
You say you’re an English teacher in 133 but the best name-calling you could come up w/is to call me a “fucking tool box”? Like, what does that mean anyway? Man, I wish I was one, now that I think about it. For those long steamy nights when there’s nothing up my sleeve. BTW, do you teach English at the Voc?
What do I know? I do know there are no “fellow Lohan fans” here, except maybe Julia, but I like to bug ya like Lindsay does. It’s all good.
I’m just a blog member of The Superficial. Superficially wounding the superceleb-babe haters in their own backyard Barbi-cue. It’s all about the infiltration & penetration & pulling out before breeding so we can all breathe. Because there’s already way too many superceleb-babe haters on this overpopulated planet. It’s all about bringing it on & then sending them straight to hell in this total war on global warming…
Lindsay has a boundless imagination that’s moving so fast her words can barely keep up w/her. She’s a poet & she don’t know it, a stream of consciousness going against the tide of the new war order of celebrity where you say you all wish she’d shut the hell up but then you’d have nothing left to whine about but your own boring lives. She’s the second most hated-on celebrity & heavy is the crown. So rock on, sweet princess.
In the words of the GD, LL may be “going to hell in a bucket, but at least I’M enjoying the ride.”
http://www.myspace.com/thewaymouth
omg!! “thewaymouth”.. seriously dude.. just shut the fuck up.. nobody cares what you think. “She’s a poet & she don’t know it” that just cracked me up dude!!! lol “I can’t believe you would allow an assistant in here – she doesn’t belong in here!” did lindsay really said that?? how snob is that!! “For if only the media would cease spreading ugly rumors about our stars” God!! everyone knows she’s doing drugs and sleeping around, it’s so obvious!! there are pictures and videos of her behavior!!! and if everyone hates her it’s her own fault. “Satan’s # 1 superstar cheerleader/Pandora’s Box herself, Paris Hilton” mmm.. you said that about paris and yet you’re criticizing those talking shit about lindsay.. pleasee!!! what about that thing about “stop hating each other” you just said, “..maybe someday we might stop hating & hurting each other so much, stop starting wars based on lies like the mess we made of Iraq” yes, no more war!! no more hating & hurting each other!! but dude.. I bet lindsay doesn’t know anything about Iraq, I mean.. she’s walking around with her $4000 alligator leather handbags.. I don’t see her doing the humanitarian work angelina does or something like that.. she’s just trash dude and she is a bad role-model for teenagers with no concern for the world
yeah, she definitely dropped out of school
Well that letter was really a hard message for all the insanity people.