Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend is hot

May 9th, 2006 // 147 Comments

I’m 90% sure the clown in the hat isn’t Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend, but when an anonymous source makes wild allegations backed up by absolutely no facts whatsoever who am I to question? Honestly though, I’m not even sure the guy is a guy, or even Lohan’s friend for that matter. He’s dressed like a homeless man and his shoes look like they belong to Forrest Gump. Buy, hey, maybe he is Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend. She went out with Fez, so an effeminate looking homeless boy shouldn’t be that much more surprising.

UPDATE: Mother of God, that really is Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend and he’s actually a model. His name is James Burke and he was most recently linked with Kate Moss. Apparently cocaine causes blindness now.


  1. CruisingForCock

    He ate his own penis. Wonder what kind of wine goes with that?

  2. tits_on_snack

    #48 I agree with you totally, however, these people don’t even realize it’s a look that’s being “revisited”.
    One of my coworkers, a twenty year old, is queen of the 80′s-fashion-revival but doesn’t even know it. She was sporting tight pale blue jeans, big white tennis shoes, a large off-the-shoulder pink sweater, hoop earrings, and a ponytail on top of her head.
    Somebody made an “eighties” comment to her and she didn’t even understand what they meant.

  3. Lou

    # 97 I could have gone my whole life without reading that. That and iambananas song.

  4. pinky_nip

    @89: I didn’t know Dee Snider had tits.

  5. booface


    All the nasties come from Florida. 75% of American skanks are from there. It’s science.

  6. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    So you’ve noticed that too?

  7. @101- Chianti goes with Penis.

  8. jb

    If Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson had a love child……

  9. mylene

    the girl with the blonde hair is so poor that she can’t afford flip flops that are her size.

  10. Faye Valentine

    So Hohan has become a Fag Hag? (Is fag hag one word or two??)

  11. Trotter

    Is Lamebananass sucking IN or shitting OUT the Hennessey? And that bra, so dirty. Tsk, tsk.

  12. Jacq

    #101 – Depends on whether it’s light or dark meat.

    #100 – Hey – I’m in Texas! Do we get stupid, respectively, or can we be in any given category at any time?

    #105 – What does the shirt say? Jersey girls ain’t trash. Trash gets picked-up.

  13. blahblah

    I swear to God I thought that was Sarah Jessica Parker !

  14. ProbablyTooOld

    James Burke looks a lot like the woman who was pretending to be J.T. LeRoy.

    And when did it become 1983 again? Ugh on all their clothes. If you’re gonna recreate a not-so-long-ago look, stick with the 70s. The drugs were better then, anyway.

  15. popegoestheweasel

    this guy looks like a reject from a Duran Duran cover band.

  16. Color me stoked

    Why are we all acting like she’s too good for him? I can hardly see him and I already can tell he’s too good for her.

  17. tsarinaamanda

    Ugh. Please not the 80′s style again. Isn’t there any way we can stop this insidious trend ? I remember it the first time around and it was bad enough, we don’t need to repeat it.

    That guy. What can I say, really? If you could be mistaken for a woman with short hair, then maybe you shouldn’t have long hair. What does anyone see in this type of guy? Yeah, I really want a guy that looks more like a girl than I do. Gross. These freaks need to get some sun, take a nice long shower, go to a STORE and buy some nice, clean, intact clothing, and stop acting like a bunch of emo retards. I know you can’t buy class, but fake it til you make it.

  18. Laffinmybuttoff

    Those arent even leggings, theyre underware. I have several. They come in pink and white, plastic package on a rack at WalMart. About 5.88

  19. Fa Cube Itches

    I didn’t know Kelly Leak was making a comeback!?! Is he hitting .814 with Lindsay?

  20. playahater101

    #97, I read that earlier. People are seriously ill in this world. No cows or chickens where these people live? I like how he advertised it, too. Sick fucker.

    #118, it’s an unfortunate thing that 80′s style is resurrecting itself. Last year it was legwarmers and flip flops. This year it’s stretchpants and oversized sweaters. Yuck!

  21. He looks EXACTLY like her.

  22. CruisingForCock

    121 Could be your neighbor!

    Don’t get me wrong. Cruising for Cocks loves to gobble up the penis and swallow. But I draw the line at cutting it off and sitting down like it’s a filet.

  23. konstantine

    you spelled but wrong.

  24. Smelly Han

    Why would you go out with your twin sister?

  25. CruisingForCock

    124 No you did!!!!

  26. CruisingForCock

    I broke my COMMA! I meant no, you did.

  27. heifferzzz

    #30 ahhh but Johnny is a sex idol & this thing is…well, what is this thing?

  28. L239

    Christ, he reminds me of that awkward kid in my second grade class who peed his pants weekly. Probably because he dresses the same.

  29. adrijade

    she hangs out with the ugliest people. i am cute, even when freaky friday came out people told me i looked like her. i think that i should be able to hang out with her, go to all her red carpet events and then one day when lidsay is missing dont blame me because we were just friends and i loved the paparazzi and all the free stuff i got.

  30. LickyLicky

    Hmmm… at least I’m glad to know that I’m not the only person who realizes that all the weirdos live in Florida. No offense to the normals, you few and far in between people! I lived in FL for a short time, and never heard so many stories of weirdness, strange crime, freaky behavior, and just a general sense of surreality.

    That being said, I think we’re all missing the point here, which is Tom Cruise Loves The Cock. I wonder if he’s going to get Sherry-Ho to pool all our IPs into a big, fat lawsuit over our constant reminder that he adores the phallus.

    With THAT being said, I bet these two take turns doing each other’s hair and makeup- like those Barbie head things we had when we were kids. I believe this, because just like with those things, once you try to comb that hair once, it looks like a bird’s nest forever. Maybe this theory explains Jess Simpson’s hair, too. I can’t wait for the inevitable… remember when we finally got tired of trying to comb and style the hair and TOOK SCISSORS TO IT??? BAHAHAHAHAHA! JS and LL and all the others with that stubbly hair-plug look! I will sit patiently and wait. Happily. For the thought of seeing that. In the meantime, someone needs to teach me to tie better knots so Papa can’t get through them again.

  31. HollyJ

    @89 LOL! I just choked on my own stomach acid and now have no nose hairs left. Please remit ointment for respiratory tube acid burns.

    PS “TomKat” was in Aberdeen Washington today to meet the online winner of some MI3 contest (some WalMart employee named Kevin) and the local news here couldn’t stop showing he and Katie strokin’ up the 2000 people that showed up at the movie theatre to worship them. She actually looked a bit better than the latest online pics, but he looked as freakishly happy and gay as usual.


  32. riav

    Goddamn he’s so creepily feminine looking.

  33. Amy

    i thought it was keira knightley

  34. SaSsY




  35. Clisted

    Serious? which one is the boyfriend?!?! WOOF!

  36. WeAllNeedWeed

    is that her bf or her coke dealer

  37. Queen LaQueefah

    he’s ok. he could use some nicer shoes and a shampoo, but props to the guy for not looking like an assbag wannabe ashton kutcher or some shit. nothing worse than a man who dresses like he gets all his duds at pacific sunwear. as for her…i agree with the rest of you she looks like she shops at forever 21 or wet seal or some crap. she needs a gay man to take her shopping.

  38. TaiTai

    It’s Jack White’s son/daughter Scarlett.

  39. kingkaede

    This is for u Lindsay I just wana say that u are my best singer and actress I don

  40. bean_dip

    i think Li-Lo is officially a friend’s-boyfriend-stealer, wasnt she supposedly dating Paris’ ex, now it’s Moss’ ex? and she’s friends with both Paris and Kate?

    this new guy dosent seem to fit the profile of her older man/daddy comples though.

  41. Iambananas



    1. Hang onto every word I think and express.

    2. Wait for me to post my next comment.

    3. Try to insult to get my attention and fulfill your pathetic life.

    4. Obsess over me… a lot

    5. Study what I type extensively.

    and finally…

    6. Comment about… well… (that’s right, you guessed it)… *********ME***********!!!

    (Looks like you’ve fulfilled ALL rquirements! You re officially obsessesd with me, like many others)


    (I’ve set up an e-mail account JUST especially for you obsessors…)

  42. Jeremy1Esq

    Michael Jackson had a kid with one of the Hanson Brothers. MMBitch.

  43. Amy

    not keira knightley… winona ryder! that’s it..

  44. LickyLicky

    Um, isn’t that acronym wrong? Don’t be flattered; I’d point out the stupidity of anyone who suffers from such delusions of grandeur in the same way.

  45. Star Maker Machinery

    It’s OK, everybody. Lindsay’s got a penis to spare.

  46. What took so long, Lindsay? I’d have dropped his retarded ass the first time he flipped the paps the bird. Nobody wants your picture, dude! Watch what happens now Riley. *crickets*

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