Turns out Lindsay Lohan’s assistant quit hours before Lindsay was arrested, and when the assistant’s mom came to pick her up, Lindsay started chasing them in her car. The assistant’s mom freaked out and called the police, telling them that Lindsay was following them and that she was going to go to the nearest police station.
Can you imagine looking in your rear view mirror and seeing a drunk Lindsay Lohan chasing you down in her car? And she’s probably shaking her fist out the window and dozing in and out of sleep. That has to be one of the scariest sights imaginable. I’d rather see Godzilla in my rear view mirror. Or a missile.
woodhorse | July 24, 2007 at 12:48 pm
And to make matters worse, the sideview mirror states “objects are closer than they actually appear”.
jrzmommy | July 24, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I would have looked back and screamed “Put ‘em on the glass!!!”
bedbugsandballyhoo | July 24, 2007 at 12:50 pm
The Mom was leaving a trail of coke behind the SUV, and Lindsay followed her right into the police station parking lot.
havoc | July 24, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Remember Cruella Deville chasing the truck in her car?
That’s what I imagine…..
LMAO!!!!!
monkeyrotica | July 24, 2007 at 12:50 pm
i think we can finally conclude that drama, cocaine, semen, and driving dont mix.
Mariah Hodge | July 24, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Im first I like to think god and my family for this award
Christ on a Crotch | July 24, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Didn’t I tell y’all that someone other than Lindsay would be the blame?
Maybe the assistant was the supplier of the nose-candy and she said, “Yo, Lilo, I’m cuttin’ you off. You’re ruining my business and attracting attention to me. Let me call my uncle Carlos E. to pick me up. Shit, he’s not home. Hey Maaaaaaa!”
Scott | July 24, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Creepy… lindsay chasing me in a car…. I won’t sleep tonight.
Binky | July 24, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Unfortunately I still think her ” I thought I was driving Herbie” defense is going to get her off.
MetalKisses | July 24, 2007 at 12:57 pm
The fuck… the assistants MOM had to pick her up … didnt the assistant have a car of her own or does Blowhan only employ minors to take the fall for her … thats like.. my afterschool drug deals. i always call my parents to let them know im finished dealing so they can pick me up then after we eat at pizzahut and maybe you can come over this weeekend that would LIKE BE SO TOTALLY COOL. Like like.. right ok .. Blowhan needs to just die
FREAKFLAG | July 24, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Great. Now she thinks she’s Steve McQueen.
woodhorse | July 24, 2007 at 1:04 pm
LOL #2 – will be thinking of that image all day….
TS | July 24, 2007 at 1:05 pm
If you are going to be retarded enough to claim FIRST, at least make sure you’re not actually 6th. Either way you’re either a bumbass or 14 years old. Remember the rule: FIRST=DORK.
Bern | July 24, 2007 at 1:06 pm
.12 isn’t that bad. that is like 1.5-3 drinks over an hour. So, if she was also yakked up, no way she was nodding off. She probably had crazy, devil eyes and was foaming at the mouth like a rabid mongoose.
Chauncey Gardner | July 24, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Awesome, we can now add vehicular assault to the rap sheet.
Say, do you guys think she’s capable of suicide? I’m trying to imagine her in jail, and this is what I see:
She will fight and rage and act like a psycho…for a while. Then she’s gonna come down, into a pit of despair, and the longer she’s away from her spoiled lifestyle and stuck in a world she thought couldn’t touch her, the more depressed she will become.
I think she’s capable of ending it all.
LL | July 24, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Yeah, I’d still rather see Lohan in my rearview mirror. You could get her to stop chasing you by throwing a big bag of white powder out your window. She’d inhale half of it before realizing it’s baby powder instead of coke.
You know whose fault all of this is? Disney. Didn’t Lohan do some Disney flicks? And didn’t Britney work for Disney back when she was still cute and innocent? I tell you, that place is evil.
my comment | July 24, 2007 at 1:13 pm
So, her assistant quit. Big effing deal.
I dont get it..
norton | July 24, 2007 at 1:14 pm
The big question is… why in the hell does Linds, or any other “celebrity” need a fucking assistant? Do they wipe your ass and fetch your drugs for you?
PadreNinoAmore | July 24, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I would still bang the everliving shit out of her.
#1hater | July 24, 2007 at 1:18 pm
not for nothing but wouldn’t this be the perfect time for the naked pics of lilo that were “stolen” off her myspace account to appear online someplace. she’s way to preoccupied to go after whoever postd them………just thinking out loud….
Tim | July 24, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Now Britney has to top this, which she will, easily. Britney’s assistant will quit after the new photoshoot disaster comes out, and Britney will flip out and race after her with Sean Preston and Jayden James bouncing along the pavement from ropes tied to the back bumper. Britney herself will be wearing a KFC bucket as a hat, so there will be a strong resemblance to Will Ferrell’s character Mustafa in the Austin Powers movie.
RUSerious?!?!?! | July 24, 2007 at 1:21 pm
1. Come on people.. have a little heart.. just a little.. she’s clearly got some HUGE issues.. So what if she’s had an easy-carefree-do-anything-i-want life? it’s RUINED her!
2. how much is in a small bag? are we talking 1/2 gram small or an 8 ball small because you know unless she had 1/4 pound they all look relatively tiny. am i right or am i right??? But when you’re dealing with coke, the more you have the more time you’ll do, so it’s important and relevant here..
sweetnsnooty | July 24, 2007 at 1:23 pm
what a fucking nutcase
Jim Kosty | July 24, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Just a shame that these youngsters never had a handle on reality from the start. I always wonder why most of those who attain fame and fortune are the same who self – destruct? What ever happened to those who would use their star power to be a positive influence? Of course, I see they’re starting to slowly skank – out Hilary Duff, so I guess it must just be the natural progression of things in Hollywood. What a habitat of morons that place is!
SNOW CONE | July 24, 2007 at 1:26 pm
ITS ALWAYS THE ASSISTANTS FAULT, ISN’T IT….GEEZ… SHE IS ON HER WAY TO BEING THE NEXT ANNA NICOLE. SHE THINKS SHES SMARTER THAN THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND THAT SHE IS ABLE TO GET ONE OVER ON EVERYONE (HENCE THE ANKLE BRACELET). HOPEFULLY SHE WILL GO TO JAIL AND LEARN A HARD LESSON (NOT THAT PARIS DID).
PS BRITTNEY NEEDS SOME SERIOUS INTERVENTION, MEDICATION AND A STRAIGHT JACKET… AND ALL OF HER MONEY GIVEN TO ME.
Hemlock Queen | July 24, 2007 at 1:27 pm
This is the best gawdamn day ever! hahahhahhaha
ph7 | July 24, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I dunno. The crazier she gets, the sexier she gets. She looks good in those pics (and the bikini pics!) Her cans have never looked better.
Send Lindsey to rehab, but please leave her voluptuous cans behind to be photographed.
xscale | July 24, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I <3 her assistant!
Lux | July 24, 2007 at 1:29 pm
#7: Best Scenario Ever!!
lambman | July 24, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Ok, it’s official, I LOVE LINDSAY LOHAN AGAIN!!!!
Tessa | July 24, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I don’t give a fuck about her problems, who doesn’t have problems? Is the world populated by addicts? LinLo in jail = suicide
blackferret | July 24, 2007 at 1:32 pm
This must be the influence of all the Machiavelli she’s been reading lately.
CreditCardsR.Us | July 24, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Quelle horror!!!
Bite Me! | July 24, 2007 at 1:36 pm
@31 WOOOOO HOOOOO that would make me happy!!!!!!
paul | July 24, 2007 at 1:38 pm
…all we need now is for britney and lindsay to have a super hot lesbian porno scene shot behind bars…and THEN blame the assistant.
Richard Pole | July 24, 2007 at 1:44 pm
All this craziness makes her even sexier in my book. As long as she has that huge freckled rack, I will give her a free pass. Hell at this point, I would even marinate her eggs with my special sauce.
miss oblivious | July 24, 2007 at 1:44 pm
If that story is true then thats really fucking hilarious. Imagine what a pain in the ass Lindsay has got to be for an assistant to actually quit. I would imagine it was a pretty good paying job w/ perks and status. But apparently not worth putting up with Linday’s crazy ass.
my comment | July 24, 2007 at 1:49 pm
And what is the deal with the two-tone nail polish?
Red nails and blue thumbnails?
Just a total disaster this one is.
the Great Bamboozler | July 24, 2007 at 1:50 pm
So are rehab and prison stripes going to be this seasons accesories for the slut-lebrity?
tune in and find out.
Derek | July 24, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I hope this fuckin bitch dies. And Paris too. They’re just vapid wastes of space. someone should eject their parents and all bloodlines into the sun so they could never reproduce again.
P J | July 24, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I still wanna cornhole her while she’s passed out in the hall! Then after, Parisite can lick my pipe clean. (OH GOD! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!)
FirstTimeCaller | July 24, 2007 at 2:23 pm
LOL!! “dozing in and out of sleep” – THAT’s why I started reading The Superficial :)
Annie Rexia | July 24, 2007 at 2:35 pm
The assistant quit because she was sick of scraping the yeasty bread pudding out of Lindsay’s cooch, so Lindsay chased them yelling “You best to get ta scrapin’ gull”. Oh no. Wait. That was Britney.
paul | July 24, 2007 at 2:39 pm
…i guess in holywood it’s unforgivable to be seen twice in the same outfit your were arrested in.
lickmybutt | July 24, 2007 at 2:51 pm
fucking disgusting ass bitch! what the fuck is wrong with young hollywood these days??
Italian Stallion | July 24, 2007 at 3:03 pm
The only reason she was chasing them is to get the coke the assistant was holding for her. I mean, what good is an assistant if they can’t hold the drugs so you don’t lose them in a coked up state. Bitch probably still had her 8 ball in her purse. They should have never gave this nigga money, she don’t know how to appreciate shit, Eddie Murphy can buy a new couch, what’s she gonna do about her face Charlie Murphy, what’s she gonna do about her face?
gigi | July 24, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I feel so sorry for any of these chicks’ assistants! haha I would have loved to have seen what led to the quitting and subsequent phone call to moms – haha! what a mess…..
We-Le-Surrender.... | July 24, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Assistants Mom? WTF? Is her assistant a 12 year old?
Sheva | July 24, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I am representing the family of assistant. If you wish an interview please feel free to contact me.
We will be going over the night in question and the day leading up to it. And Lowhore will be spinning in her rehab bed all the while.
Boly | July 24, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Thats why she always look like she is about to go to jail.