Lindsay Lohan: Dina is booking Ali a flight to Crazytown

April 25th, 2008 // 59 Comments

Lindsay Lohan is deeply concerned about her mom’s new reality show Living Lohan. Lindsay is certain that Dina is going to turn 14-year-old Ali (above) into another fiery-vadged booze robot from the planet Slut-u-tron. The Chicaga Sun-Times reports:

According to a longtime Lindsay associate and friend, the star thinks the show has the potential to be ”really toxic” and is also convinced Dina’s manipulation of Ali’s career will mess her up — as she thinks her own life has been.
Lindsay supposedly has tried to talk to her sister about all this, but Ali has stopped taking her calls, unless she promises not to dis their mom.

So, I wonder who’s the worst parent: Britney Spears or Dina Lohan? Maybe we should have them compete in a parenting contest. Actually, scratch that. Fucking terrible idea. I forgot that’s the recipe for conjuring Satan. Or is it Dead Baby Gumbo? Either way, let’s let sleeping dogs lie – or, in this case, psychologically damage their offspring so badly that Sigmund Freud would shit a cow. Then claim it’s his mother and have sex with it. That guy was weird.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Slappy White

    What an ugly girl. Yikes.

  2. Anonymous

    Dina would pimp out her used tampons if she could.

  3. roastbeef

    She looks like a dude

  4. jumpin_j

    Has Dina met Jim Simpson? Do they sit around doing shots and talk about how much bigger assholes they can be to their kids?

  5. kerry

    She’s 14? She looks about 40.

  6. Geh!!! She’s even uglier than her sister!!!

  7. lulu

    1 vote for Dina Lohan being the worst mother.

    At least Britney being on drugs can somewhat explain her odd behavior besides the fact that she is probably crazy.

  8. Christine

    wow what a face. poor girl

  9. FRIST!!!

    She looks AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL here, and anyone who insults her is just a jealous fat cow!!

  10. Mandy

    She’s a pretty enough girl, if she didn’t tan and dye her hair that unnatural colour and not wear so much freaking bronzer she wouldn’t look so old… fourten? She looks older than my 17-year-old SISTER.

  11. veggi

    Hey #9! Bet you feel stupid forgetting the URL, troll..
    And you do realize that your troll posts are incredibly lame, right?

    But you can’t expect much originality from a 15 year old overweight drop out with a Twinkie in each hand..

    PS: fuck you!! Cheers!!

  12. ph7

    She’s got a Jay Leno chin, and she’s built like a linebacker. Sorry, you’ll never make it.

  13. PunkA

    Dina is worst, because at least Lynne is MILF-y. Dina is horrible and FUGLY.

  14. beesknees

    I feel bad for her. She looks really old for her age. And she has that mess of a family. She pretty much has no chance and is already washed up before she begun.

  15. nipolian

    You can see in the first pic that they have Granny Lohan so fucking juiced up on Pentobarbital she thinks she’s walking on the moon.

  16. aleale

    she looks as if she had something done, dunno if thats what she wanted though, she looks like a pigeon

  17. The really tragic thing in this whole story is that someone convinced her that outfit was cute.

  18. juggalo

    here is that baby gumbo Recipe here it is Ready in: 1-2 hrs
    Difficulty: 3 (1=easiest :: hardest=5)
    Serves/Makes: 4

    3/4 cup lard
    3/4 cup all purpose flour
    2 celery stalks, peeled and chopped
    3 large onions, chopped
    1 green bell pepper, chopped
    1 red bell pepper, chopped
    1 yellow bell pepper, chopped
    2 bay leaves
    2 teaspoons salt
    2 teaspoons dried oregano, crumbled
    1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
    5 (8 oz.) bottles clam juice
    2 (28 oz.) cans Cajun style diced tomatoes
    2 pounds Smoked Andouille sausage, halved lengthwise, sliced 1/4 inch thick
    2 pounds okra, trimmed, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick slices
    2 pounds large Gulf Shrimp, uncooked, peeled and deveined
    3 Fresh tomatoes, seeded, diced
    1 pound long-grain rice, cooked
    1 fresh chopped up baby


    Heat oil in a large iron Dutch Oven over high heat until almost smoking. Add flour, stirring constantly until you get a dark red-brown rue, about 8 minutes (don’t burn). Immediately add celery, onions and bell peppers. Cook 5 minutes, stirring and scraping bottom of pan often. Mix in bay leaves, salt, oregano and cayenne. Add clam juice, canned tomatoes and sausage. Boil 15 minutes. Add okra, reduce heat and simmer until okra is tender, about 15 minutes. (Can be made 1 day ahead). Cover and chill to let the flavors merge.

    Bring to simmer before continuing. Add shrimp to gumbo and pieces of the baby. then simmer until just cooked through, about 3 minutes. Ladle over rice and top with tomatoes. mmm delicious

  19. fygu

    Why are you posting recipes?
    That Lohan family is a big mix of fug. Lindsay was pretty for maybe two years and then she became an addict and now looks disgusting. Why can’t that whole family die?

  20. #18 – 3/4 cups of lard? Sounds like a Kim K ass cheek!


    Dutch Oven? Sounds like Kim K!


    I am, however, confused as to where I might procure “1 fresh chopped up baby”….. can I use chicken? Will it taste the same?

  21. Petchy

    I doubt Linds really cares. she probably just worried that Ali will be the new Lindsay and no amount of bjs and fire crotch flashes will save her career.

  22. RENEE

    Why do these fricken Lohan girls always look like they’re pushing 40? They look almost as old as their mom.

  23. linds

    wow what a way to make your 14 year old child and I stress child look like a 30 year old woman…..and when Lindsay steps in to tell you your going to F up a child you know something is wrong!

  24. Auntie Kryst

    Madam Lohan is the worst. That cunt Dina looks like she’s starving her teenage daughter. WTF??

  25. Kat

    @9 Why do people insist on posting stupid comments under someone else’s name, seriously?

    I’ve seen uglier pictures of her, she’s not good lucking, but she’s not exactly ugly either…kind of just stuck in the middle while looking really really old. Anywho, why must Dina live vicariously through her children? Why isn’t one fucked up kid enough?

  26. Lucy

    I guess since Dina figures the prettier daughter out of her hands she’s going to try again with the ugly kid.

  27. spindoc

    Oh My God….She is only 14?!?!?! She looks like an old Cocktail waitress in Reno who bores customers by talking about how she once gave Sammy Davis Junior a hand-job in the parking lot of the Flamingo Hilton back in 1968.

  28. Matthew

    the old women in pic one it looks like she is scared of Dina Partying Mom Lhoan

  29. untildeathdo

    Good luck, Ali! My advice is to start an overseas bank account without your mother’s name on it. You’ll need it later when the rehab and therapist bills start racking up.

  30. Mal Gusto

    she looks bad for a 14 year old.

  31. fuck you

    So I see someone finally show the chit how to stand straight. I don’t know, there’s just something about this girl that is weird, by all rights she should be gorgeous, great cheekbones, nice eyes and hair but she just isn’t.

    she just looks like a carbon copy of her mother and lindsay

    and what is with all that makeup?

  32. monkeyfightclub

    I can’t wait till she’s old enough to snort coke off my penis.

  33. herbiefrog

    since when… ?

    did even non-superficial people

    diss on a 14 year old

    who is being exploiteed

    by her mother

    …shirley our cry must be…

    …go back to school

    …go back to school

    go back to school

    see it has a “ring” about it

    [no beat thanks

  34. Thigs

    shirley? Or surely? I think you may need to go back to school.

  35. Ted from LA

    I think I just saw Elvis.

  36. JAneele

    She is really ugly and has no upper lip. She has the figure of a 12 year old boy. I looked at her photo again.. really fugly.

  37. My Penis

    Not hot enough

  38. geoge

    She is so gorgeous today. She is very hot now. Once I found her sexy photos anf profile on a dating community called “M E E T I N G W E A L T H Y dot com”. It is said she is dating friends there.

  39. Assmosis

    She’d probably look 14 if she didn’t have the same retarded haircut her mum and sister both fashion. She looks like a pimped up like a trannie on estrogen when her mum lends out her old ass clothes and tacky tat. I can’t believe Granny’s getting dragged along with these fame whores. She probably has alzheimers and doesn’t know where that lingering smell of week-old fish is coming from. Someone call AgeConcern before this shit gets out of hand.

  40. Beastman AIDS

    I think that was just about the most accurate analysis of freud i have ever read.

  41. hank baby

    what kinda 14 year old needs a chanel bag?….

  42. hank baby

    what kinda 14 year old needs a chanel bag?….

  43. G

    accelerated aging proces. yikes.

  44. me

    She’s has no lips.

  45. realist

    Dina Lohan is a walking shit stain. She’s either criminally stupid or simply evil and doesn’t care one bit about the welfare of her kids.

  46. I think Alli looks pretty for a 40 year old. Ok ok 30. Why does she look so old? Lindsay looks old now too but that’s the drugs and alcohol…what is up with Alli?

  47. Missy

    she looks super old, i hope she doesn’t fall into her sister’s tracks

  48. Asian Sensation

    What’s that under her chin? Oh, it’s her SECOND CHIN! I can’t believe a 14 year old already has a double chin. That’s suppose to happen when you’re 40, not 14.

  49. wowwww

    she is horrendous

  50. Crappola

    This post feels very ominous… you know kinda like in Ghostbusters II? When the pieces are coming together in the end. Except in this case… the Ghostbusters is comprised of Mr. T, Erik Estrada, The guy who voiced Mario in the “Super Mario Super Show”, and Rick Astley.

    They’re unfortunately in Slut-u-tron combating the evil forces that be!

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