Lindsay Lohan was totally cured in rehab

March 16th, 2007 // 108 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has apparently been out partying and drinking every single night since she arrived in New York last week.

The newly blond starlet was with Jude Law at The Box both Friday and Saturday nights, where spies said she was “drinking champagne and dancing with four Lindsay look-alikes.” She also partied at Stereo last Friday, Butter and Bungalow 8 on Monday, and had plans to hit the Plumm last night with pal Charlotte Ronson. Lohan’s rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, told Page Six, “Lindsay’s doing fine. She’s taking her life day by day.”

So rehab didn’t work for her at all. What the hell was she doing in there? While everybody else was getting treated for their addictions she was probably playing Hungry Hungry Hippo, clapping her hands excitedly going, “Look at the hippos eat! They’re so hungry!” Then when one of the employees taps her shoulder to let her know a meeting is about to start she orders a Cosmopolitan and takes a nap.



  1. connie2331

    lindsay is like a cake….. everyone gets a piece

    lindsay is like a door knob…. everyone gets a turn

    lindsay is like a freezer…. everyone puts their meat in it

  2. danielle


    Wow….you just described your reflection.

    Unpretty fat people who fart in the company of immature friend’s sounds like fun…if you’re YOU.

  3. DrPhowstus

    @52 — I’m rubber, you’re glue? What kind of stupid fucking shit is that? I read in some of the older posts that you work at the DMV. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No wonder I wait 30 fucking minutes on line when there’s only two people ahead of me.

  4. ch474

    Wake me up when she does something never seen before, like shave her head, or get out of a car while “forgetting” to wear underwear, or attacks a car with an umbrella. Until then she’s just a cliche party girl. 14:55, 14:56, 14:57 …

  5. danielle

    I’m not a racist. In fact, I take everything back that I ever said. You’re right, I shouldn’t talk about other people that I don’t even know. It’s just that I’ve experienced one too many acts of racism in my day and I just simply came on here to vent out some of my frustration.

    Truth is, I do like caucasians and other races. I think that all races have an impact on the world and contribute as well.

    I didn’t mean to cause any of you all any harm. You all are probably really good people who make wise choices and are going far in life.

    The truth is: I go to a university..but it’s not Howard. I only said that because my sister goes there and I look up to her because she busts a 4.0 each semester.

    I do go to a university though, no it’s not a community college. It is a good upstanding small campus university with alumni that have been recognized for thier achievements throughout the years.

    I live in DC, NE to be exact. I am of a middle-class standing, and I like it that way. I live nowhere near Barry someone pointed out earlier. In fact, this past weekend, me and my cousins were actually dared to go to that part of town,..but we chickened out.

    I am a normal 19 year old, about to celebrate her 20th birthday in 3 months and I DO sincerely apologize for any hurtful things that I have said. Especially to you biatcho..I know that if I lost my father the way that you did, I wouldn’t want anyone to make a joke out of it.

    Please do except my apology, I am truly sorry

  6. Superevil

    It’s bad enough that there is one of her but now we have 4 look-a-likes? apocalypse must be around the corner

  7. Jenny

    Why is she always red around her mouth?

  8. Lowlands

    What’s she carrying in that bottle?Doesn’t look like a fresh macchiato.

  9. danielle


    Who said anything about rubber and glue?
    Looks to me like somebody missed their naptime.

    Seriously, are you a product of incest or are you just mentally challenged?

    If I worked at the DMV, you’d be the first to know. You’re like so totally important to me that I reveil where I work and what flavor of lipgloss I use when my lips get chapped on a cool autumn day.


    Yeah, go back to the older posts and re-read that material dear. Shouldn’t you be sweeping or something. You sound like 50 year old janitor.

  10. danielle

    Clean up on aisle 55. That’s FIFTY-FIVE.

    Shit is starting to stink.

  11. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Lindsay Lohan is a handsome woman, but she should do something about the pube burns on her face.
    That being said, shut the fuck up danielle, nobody cares.

  12. connie2331

    @55 that story made me cry…. cant we all just get along? let’s all play nice and leave all the lowdown, backstabbing to people who are pro’s at that game…. hollywood celebs!!

  13. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    You people are all faggots and I hate you.

  14. Lowlands

    I’m not a racist?That can’t be,because ALL human are racist.Especially those people which are saying all the time they aren’t racist.

  15. Man Tatum O’Neil is looking old and rough these days, must be all the drugs.

  16. danielle

    Ignore 55 you dumb pricks. It’s a hairy troll…probably biatcho, richie, jrz or some other fuckturd who abuses typekey to the fullest.

    Your mother should’ve bought that book on homemade abortions.

  17. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I’m not racist because faggots and niggers don’t count.

  18. DrPhowstus

    @59 — Really? Nothing original at all? How the hell were you even conceived? Did a bunch of guys cum in a cup and attack your poor mother with a turkey baster? That’s what the bitch gets for not swallowing.

    Mr. Fish, please post topless Lohan shots. Argueing with danielle is like yelling at myself in a mirror and expecting something other than what I just said to come back.

  19. DrPhowstus

    @67 — HAHAHAAHAHAHA. What about gooks, chinks, wetbacks, Aryans, Redmen and Inuits? I don’t think they should count either. Apparently danielle doesn’t count either. No I mean literally doesn’t count.

    1, 4, 2, 6, 23, 5…

  20. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Can someone clue me in to this longstanding feud everyone has with Danielle? I am Swiss on the whole thing, but I noticed that she is usually piled on quite a bit, but then also antagonizes people, too.

    Also, shout out to Cisco Adler’s nuts. I mention them every few days so they can remain in the public conscience.

    Please feel free to share your thoughts on Cisco, too.

  21. Lowlands

    If you’re a Caucasian human being and you really don’t know how racism does feel,go visit Japan and walk a couple of hours in a busy crowdy city.

  22. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Don’t patronize me Dr. Phowstus or I’ll put this shank in your achilles.

  23. danielle

    I guess crispy crackers don’t count for anything either due to the fact that their existence is solely based on the work of other people because, God forbid they have to wipe their own ass or do labor….eck!


    Odd….I thought humor came with a laugh and a cookie. All I got was a gag and a wine cooler.


    Hooked on Phonics doesn’t deliver to the trailerpark so…I’ll let that counting “typo” slide.

  24. Lowlands

    #71)Me gonna try!

  25. FRIST!!!

    Look, man…I just want this day to fly by, so I can go home and suck down 2-3 vodka martinis. Who’s with me here???

  26. connie2331

    PLEASE STOP THIS PEOPLE!!! we are supposed to be commenting on lindsay here…. not insulting each other. let’s all STOP….. and GET ALONG PLEASE!!

  27. Lowlands

    Sounds great to me babe.

  28. alaskanchicsickle

    @70 I was just wondering the same thing. I hadn’t been here for a few months, so I must have missed whatever Danielle did to fire everyone up so much. Last I had been on regularly it was the extremely annoying lamebanana everyone ganged up on, but I don’t get why so many harbor animosity towards Danielle.

  29. DrPhowstus

    @70, 76 & 78 — I actually don’t know much about the ‘girl’ I just thought it prudent to point out her own stupidity to her. Isn’t that reasonably common practice here? And thanks for the reminder on Cisco’s nuts. I vomitted so loud when I read that my co-workers thought there was a sick lion here.

    @72 — So you like it rough toots?

  30. alaskanchicsickle

    @75 I’m with you there, but I might substitute a big fatty in place of the martinis.
    On Lohan, why the 80′s thrift store reject look? Christ, even Tara Reid looks more fashionable.

  31. azshrink

    I NEVER post on this site, but feel I must now because the most entertaining part of reading it is being threatened. PLEASE don’t stop ganging up on Danielle–it’s the most enjoyable part! The celebrities don’t answer back!!!!

  32. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Did you just call me toots? I’m not a foghorn, nor am I a trumpet. Trumpets and foghorns are niggers.

  33. personally i see nothing wrong with her drinking as long as she does not get totally smashed

  34. DrPhowstus

    @82 — But I have a sneaky suspicion you blow, and I mean that in a good way. Fuck, you can stab me in the ankle if I can stab you in the ass; only I won’t use a knife. Deal?

  35. connie2331

    tara sleaze and lindsay hohan are exact opposites….. let me explain: tara is great at concealing the fact that she sleeps around, but can’t hide the fact that she has a drinking problem. lindsay is good at concealing the fact that she is drunk, but can’t hide the fact that she sleeps around!!! three cheers for me!!!

  36. Low-Han ….

    What can I say? She just has that look that says:

    “Hey there, My crotch smells like Chilli and Tomatoe Soup! Ok, have a nice day!”

    Just my 2 cents.

  37. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I don’t make deals with foghorn-lovers.

  38. danielle


  39. hilaroushillary

    #39: OMG , that was the sweetes story ever!! hHAHAHSHhshshaaha =^’.'^=

  40. jpjrocks

    ~39~ I’d fuck you

  41. bungoone

    abrosia, you’ve got to be kidding me with that blog. have you ever heard of spell check? it’s a good thing you kept this post to a few lines unlike your usual nonsensical crap.

  42. #2, I have. It’s not that great. She keeps her blackberry in there. It weirded me out, just like your comment.

  43. wedgeone

    #70, 76, and 78 – to add to what the good Dr. says, DamYell is not only a complete moron, but she posts crap on here like she’s funny or something. Her posts rank up there with Michael Richards yelling “nigg_er” into a microphone, but she just doesn’t get it.

    Rich port and Jrz mommy would be able to tell you many more tales of DamYell, but they have been trolled so much that they have abandoned this blog. Go back a few months and read some of the blogs if they are available, and you’ll get the picture.

  44. wedgeone

    Wow … type the normal spelling of the word “nigg_er” got my comment blacklisted. Sorry … “pending approval”. So ignore the extraneous underscores and spaces in my post.

    How did you get that word past the filter, oshkosh?

  45. herbiefrog

    > >trying to do that by communicating with her in a straightforward
    > >manner
    > >always just backfires. she appears to be unable to process what we
    > >say
    > >(what anyone says?)
    > >
    > >– astri
    > True, but it will work better in the long run then treating her as
    > younger than she is. For example, if you take her shopping and she
    > wants to buy a shirt that is inappropriate and you let her make
    > that decision it is up to the group home people to say she can’t
    > wear it. If you tell her on the spot ‘you can’t wear that cause
    > it’s inappropriate’ then _you_ are the bad guy.
    > My overall guess, as I’ve said before, is that she is
    > unable/unwilling
    > to let in the idea that you can be trusted or that she can count on
    > you in any way. Even if you did _exactly_ what she wanted as she
    > wanted it, she would find some way to push you away. What you offer
    > and what she wants is WAY too scary for her to accept as being
    > something she could possibly get in reality. And of course if she
    > really has some deficit that is keeping her from being able to
    > process what you say that is just compounding the situation even
    > further.

    …oh bugger

    wrong on-line place thingy

    hey babe…
    …you know what is required

  46. NicotineEyePatch

    Totally cured, like the way beef jerky is totally cured, right?

  47. RichPort

    93., 94. cunt.

    Nope, my posts get through just fine.

  48. imran karim

    jude law is a real stand up guy

  49. k naz

    those aren’t sunglasses they’re fucking haterblockers

  50. She was in rehab for oxycotin you prudes. She can still use Alcohol, Marijuana, Cocaine, LSD, Shrooms and Cock.

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