Lindsay Lohan was totally cured in rehab

March 16th, 2007 // 108 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has apparently been out partying and drinking every single night since she arrived in New York last week.

The newly blond starlet was with Jude Law at The Box both Friday and Saturday nights, where spies said she was “drinking champagne and dancing with four Lindsay look-alikes.” She also partied at Stereo last Friday, Butter and Bungalow 8 on Monday, and had plans to hit the Plumm last night with pal Charlotte Ronson. Lohan’s rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, told Page Six, “Lindsay’s doing fine. She’s taking her life day by day.”

So rehab didn’t work for her at all. What the hell was she doing in there? While everybody else was getting treated for their addictions she was probably playing Hungry Hungry Hippo, clapping her hands excitedly going, “Look at the hippos eat! They’re so hungry!” Then when one of the employees taps her shoulder to let her know a meeting is about to start she orders a Cosmopolitan and takes a nap.



  1. Peaches2331

    yay, first!

  2. danielle

    She looks totally fuckable.

    Hot bitch. I’d love to finger her kitten.

  3. Donkey

    The bitch is loose and free to terrorize camera men everywhere. run Run RUN!!!

  4. Donkey

    She reminds me too much of an old leather purse that my mom used to have on the floor, in the back of the closet.

  5. danielle


    Wow, does your mother know about this?

    I’m sure she’d be pretty upset to learn that you were fingering someone else on the side.

    Move along now and get back to your trailer..


    Ahem. Now, on to LinsAAy LOWhan.

    Please, leave the poor girl alone. If you had to wake up every morning and say “I love myself even though I was born a man” to a mirror 5x fast, you’d turn back to alcohol too.

    Shame on all of you.

  6. connie2331

    is that a urine sample in her bottle? she is so wacked out on drugs her pics are making me high.

  7. DrPhowstus

    Blond, brunette or bald, she’s still a fucking firecrotch. I regret ever staining my rug and injuring my wrist over her. Bitch.

  8. Snarkington

    She definitely wasn’t cured of The Ugly.

  9. DrPhowstus

    LinsAAy LOWhan?

    Oh, nooooooooow I get it.

    Pretty fucking lame actually.

  10. schack

    she looks like someone rubbed iodine all over her skin

  11. Forbidden

    why is her face somehow slightly tanned and not pale, and her arms and hands are butt white?

  12. Forbidden

    fugly lady

  13. schack

    she looks like posh spice with her wisdom teeth freshly out in the main pic

  14. danielle


    Tell that to Perez, I stole it from his site dumbass.

  15. DrPhowstus

    “Must be photographed carrying a drink….. must be photographed carrying a drink…..”

  16. Hemlock Queen

    Nice 80′s slouchy boots. Maybe that’s what makes her “too cool for school.”

  17. DrPhowstus

    @14 — Like I said, fucking lame. Much like an overused couch, you need some need material.

  18. bungoone

    I’m pretty sure she got that jacket out of the Star Trek wardrobe closet. Probably the boots too.

    And why does she have 8 different bags, but the same outfit? Celebrities (and in this case, i use that term loosely) amaze me.

  19. Hecubus

    Holy fuck she’s turning into a rat.

  20. danielle


    I need some need material.

    Got it.

    I’ll pick up a dictionary for you while I’m out.

  21. JaeMae

    #18- she also has different sunglasses in some of the pics. who does that?

  22. leezastudio

    # 6 Urine is actually good for you, didnt’ you know? she drinks babies pee, it gives her her youth back

  23. connie2331

    @6 thanks for enlightening me on that one… lol i need to take notes cause hohan is my red haired, i mean blonde haired…. well, whatever color her hair is next she is my hollywood ho-ho….. i mean hero.

  24. schack

    she had the most beautiful natural red hair and freckles… ah, the danger of stupidity.

  25. Gum Dumpster

    She looks about 50 in that picture and those glasses aren’t helping things.

  26. At least I lasted a whole 30 days sober after rehab. I even got a red coin!!! I keep it in my coin jar as a reminder that sobriety sucks ass.

  27. spineofsnake

    good for this girl…she’s trying to help the youth of america by turning herself into a walking “crack is wack” advertisement.

    how adequite of her!

  28. schack

    #26. i’ve listened to that song about 100x since yesterday :)

    addictions rule

  29. fame is funny

    She’s carrying keith richards urine…it gives her super coke and drinking powers…

  30. fame is funny

    and oh yeah, BE ADEQUITE!

  31. belle

    WHAT THE HELL is up with her FACE?? I don’t understand.. Talk about uneven skin tones. Jesus.. I’m so sick of her!

  32. belle

    Oh, and what’s wrong with Hungry Hungry Hippo?

  33. Bugman4045

    Hello…,She was in rehab in L.A. That means her sobriety is only in L.A.
    When she is in New York, she can still be a party whore.
    I hope she spirals down fast.

  34. connie2331

    firecrotch is my favorite little sleaze, she is the material that inspires rock musicians to write those songs about cheating, no good little wenches. i feel inspiration when i see her after a hard night of partying and who knows what else. (we do know what else but lets pretend cause it’s insperational) firecrotch …. I LOVE YOU

  35. whitegold

    She looks ridiculous in those stupid sunglasses, makes me laugh.

    Her rep is a bitch “Lindsay’s doing fine. She’s taking her life day by day.” Yeah, don’t we all wish that “taking our lives day by day” meant clubbing, partying, and getting drunk every night of the week. So unfair!

    But then when I feel angry and bitter, I just look at her in those stupid glasses and it makes me laugh again.

  36. GooniesNeverSayDie

    I used to have a Hungry Hungry Hippos game. It was rad, but really noisy.

    I also had another one called “Lay an Egg” where a chicken goes around in a circle and you try to get it to lay an egg in your basket.

  37. Lowlands

    What do you expect?A twenty year old girl being cured from partying?That’s only possible if she turned into a muslim-girl with very strict parents.Talking about partying,one of my favorite dj’s got his new album suddenly posted on bit-torrents sites…If you think i agree with that then you’re wrong.My favorite musicians (probably mostly girls) are from now on under my protection.I’m not sure yet about’fuck ya man’…But allright then,i’ll protect it a little as well.

  38. veggi

    I love people that say RAD! It’s rad. Word.

  39. veggi

    so, last night, I was walking around downtown, and this guy meowed at me. I was like, meow back at ya. And then he went hiss hiss. I was like, what is he doing? so, I went, hiss hiss back at him and did a little paw paw with my hand. Then I remembered I was wearing my new hello kitty outfit that I bought at wal-mart. It’s super cute. You can borrow it sometime.

  40. FRIST!!!

    Yeah, that song IS addictive!!!!! I couldn’t get it out of my head for like a month!!!

  41. connie2331

    hohan and tara reid have no taste in sunglasses, you would expect that these so called celebs would spend a little more time fitting these shades to their facial structure. well, thats what make them my favorite skanky little hollywood ho-ho’s

  42. schack


  43. pekpekshorts

    The mileage!!! This chick looks 40!!!!!! Sharon Stone looks younger than her!!!

  44. wedgeone

    The countdown has begun to her gong Chris Farley on the world & our pre-rehab predictions coming true.
    I give her three months before she OD’s.

  45. wedgeone

    going … not gong.

  46. DrPhowstus

    @20 — It’s not my fault. When I read stupid shit I start mistyping in a fury. Thank goodness there was only one error in my post, because normally shit that stupid makes me type like askcjbb ljds cwuc nlcxjs.

  47. Gum Dumpster

    She was dancing with 4 Lindsay look-alikes. I’m glad there’s no pictures of that disaster.

  48. TashaVin`

    She definately brings Sexy back with those aviators, but those boots are hideous!

  49. danielle


    So I’m guessing that after reading your birth certificate…you really fucked up some term paper for college….eh?

  50. DrPhowstus

    @49 — You remind me of that episode of My Name Is Earl where Randy is walking through a field of rakes blindfolded. You really don’t have a clue do you? Lemme guess: young, slightly overweight, unpretty college student who makes her friends laugh every time she farts in public? Is that about right?

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