Lindsay Lohan turns to Machiavelli

July 13th, 2007 // 83 Comments

In an interview with Tatler magazine, Lindsay Lohan says after entering rehab she started turning to Machiavelli for advice. She tells the magazine:

“It changed my life. I didn’t have a good grip on it and I needed to get my shit together. I was going out too much and I had too much pressure on my shoulders. I was not that happy and I needed to go to that place to be happy. If I get stressed out I say a serenity prayer. I meditate too. I was going out with someone and they said I should read Machiavelli and I was like, ‘nah’, and then I was, ‘OK, I’ll read it’ and now it is always with me.”

Machiavelli’s “The Prince” is the quintessential business guide on how to compromise your morals for personal gain. It’s not something you turn to after rehab. It’s something you turn to when you’re trying to become the head of a corporation or overthrow a small government. No, a book I’d recommend for somebody like Lindsay Lohan is Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham”. It might be a little over her head, but it’s got pictures so she’ll never be caught with it upside down while pretending to read it.


  1. my comment

    She has Posh’s unborn pig nose.

  2. Jenny

    At least she’s trying to clear her name a little. Some media whores *cough Paris* will never learn. Lindsay’s done rehab, appears to be learning/attempting to read, and hasn’t been seen hideously drunk for a few weeks. I say give her the benefit of the doubt.

  3. flyby

    Does she like her Machiavelli shaken, stirred, on the rocks, or dirty?

  4. flyby

    #51…that’s the rhinoplasty called the California Special…makes you wonder if it decreases air intake and shuts off oxygen to the brain

  5. mememe

    I love the discussion of Machiavelli…

    @22, exactly what I was thinking!

    Whether or not Machiavelli meant it as a satire, it’s still used today as a guide by policy makers (see: Henry Kissinger) and theorists (see: realists in international relations).

    If Lindsay Lohan wants to follow in the footsteps of Cesare Borgia, well then, it’s better than following that shit book “The Secret.”

  6. wedgeone

    25-26: ROTFLMFAO!

    y’know … I may be the only one and I’m probably going out on a limb here … but I actually found Mr. Fish’s commentary here pretty funny. Although he usually reaches for “Dr. Seuss” in such cases, and that’s a bit old.
    Good to know that even a blind squirrel can find a nut in the woods once in a while.

    Meantime, it’s good to know that a blind man can bust a nut in LiLo’s gaping breath-hole anytime he wants. She’s all yours, Victor.

  7. Dizzybenny

    WOW! im amazed she can read i thought she would have waited for the movie to come out

  8. ziggurat

    You should be simply amazed enough that she ‘reads’. At least it’s not ‘The Secret’ or “The Bible’–let’s be optimistic here (or not). Maybe she can become a despot and take over The Standard as the Tyrant Queen of Cocaine or something . . .

  9. her DNA iz made up
    of nothing but drugz
    and alcohol…
    her whole life will
    be nothing but a battle??

  10. uber-boober

    I blame the parents. They both are white-trash opportunists, and this kid never had a chance in hell.

    She’ll die young of an overdose, I’ve said it again and again… let’s do an over-under here… who thinks she can make it past 23?

  11. lady-croft

    #45 good point

  12. jack cord

    actually it is the ultimate book in politcal ethics and maneuvering-although business titans like to adopt it. That said, she is an idiot and I am sure has no idea what to use it for. Maybe it has a shiny hard cover and she can chop her coke on it

  13. allyrising

    “It might be a little over her head, but it’s got pictures so she’ll never be caught with it upside down while pretending to read it.”

    You overestimate her, as even our fine president was snapped holding a childrens’ book upside down. And is Hohan smarter than our president? I think not!

  14. Blowdog

    Sigh, my mind feels penetrated by the fact that I’m sharing classical literature with LL.

  15. a better literary selection would be “Chicken Soup for the No-Talent Assclown Cokewhore Soul,” but she’s missing the prerequisite soul.

  16. pekpekshorts

    #4 please don’t post about stuff you don’t know. it’s obvious you never went to college.

  17. herbiefrog

    well done babe :)

    today la

    tomorrow… : )))

  18. Sheva

    Okay, I love a good whore as much as anyone but when the Lowhores of the world start ascribing to Machiavelli, you know the end can’t be far.

    What’s next for the whores and harlots of hollywood, Shakespeare?

  19. Lindsey has turned lesbo due to the cruel way the men she has let into her life treated her. She has given up on men and found women more capable of giving her what she craves in a relationship. You heard it here first.

  20. ferdi

    Now she is taking “the prince” as her bible.
    That will turn out pretty well.

  21. yep

    My question is how many of you retards commented on the book without ever reading it?
    Out of 70 comments so far only 1 came even close to understanding “The Prince”.

  22. TrulyJulie

    Tragic. There is no way of saving her ass is there? Do people really believe she got anything out of rehab? She probably made more connections for drug purchases if anything.
    Her stating that she read was probably a hallucination.

  23. Soda Jerk

    I had a weight problem until I found a diet that worked by reading “A Modest Proposal”. All of you that post on here without understanding the power of classic literature are just being narrow minded.

  24. stunned

    Are you sure she wasn’t talking about Prince Matchabelli, the perfume guy?

  25. Bling

    I wonder if she ever stops snorting coke long enough to think about what she’ll look like and what kind of funk-ass dzs she’ll have when she’s in her thirties?…hmmm

  26. ToTellTheTruth

    Yeah right bitch. You’ll be coked up next week lying in a bed in the backroom of some Hollywood party, with about 40 guys standing in a line at the damn door.

  27. MK The Interlectual

    Why is she posing like this? Who does she think she is? Lindsay Bekham?

  28. hannah

    linsay lohan..who is she?? I dont think she s an actress,no more,she WAS an actress
    Now she’s only a fake blonde bicth stupid and arrogant.
    I’d like that people like her disappear from earth
    they are so stupid so rich when so many people sleep in the streets
    The world is not right when you see those things

  29. Jess

    A “machiavellian” is also a term used by psychologists to describe a person who has a serious lack of empathy and disregard for others, and consciously uses others as vehicles for their own personal gain.
    Machiavelli is not exactally the person someone who is fresh out of rehab wants to be emulating. I bet she didn’t even read it. She thinks that saying she read it makes her sound smart, but saying she uses it for inspiration makes her sound like a jackass.

  30. Sahara77

    so . .she’s into Machiavellesbi now? haha ..

  31. kallstrom

    She did not read Machiavelli. This is hilarious. How can a book about 16th century state building help her after rehab? What a tool

  32. bartholemew

    Watch out for the MK interlectual bag shes a hooker oops sorry i mean hacker cannot get enough of E.S that you come here just cause shes beautiful and your an old hag fatbutt.:):)

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