Lindsay Lohan turns to Machiavelli

July 13th, 2007 // 83 Comments

In an interview with Tatler magazine, Lindsay Lohan says after entering rehab she started turning to Machiavelli for advice. She tells the magazine:

“It changed my life. I didn’t have a good grip on it and I needed to get my shit together. I was going out too much and I had too much pressure on my shoulders. I was not that happy and I needed to go to that place to be happy. If I get stressed out I say a serenity prayer. I meditate too. I was going out with someone and they said I should read Machiavelli and I was like, ‘nah’, and then I was, ‘OK, I’ll read it’ and now it is always with me.”

Machiavelli’s “The Prince” is the quintessential business guide on how to compromise your morals for personal gain. It’s not something you turn to after rehab. It’s something you turn to when you’re trying to become the head of a corporation or overthrow a small government. No, a book I’d recommend for somebody like Lindsay Lohan is Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham”. It might be a little over her head, but it’s got pictures so she’ll never be caught with it upside down while pretending to read it.


  1. c45j


  2. Bite Me!

    Ya Right

  3. John

    But what she does not tell you is that Machiavelli is a big DICK!!!

  4. Kara

    machiavelli is actually a SATIRE, and was meant to MOCK the king of France’s absolutism (Louis XIV). It’s not a bad source of philosophy.

  5. Kara

    just kidding…in case that wasn’t clear.

  6. Katie Couric

    Ok, Lindsay – spell “Machiavelli”…

    …yeah, didn’t think so.

  7. veggi

    “I was like, nah, then I was, ok.” Yeah, she reads.

  8. Lowlands

    I can recommend her also to read ‘How to bake chocolate cookies in 10 minutes’.I’m sure she’ll feel better after reading this book.

  9. Lindsay HoHandjob

    have you guys ever seen Los Borgia? Cesare Borgia was the inspiration for that book.

  10. Mr. Black

    This bitch is stupid, that’s no way to get back into the system. Somebody pulled a trick on her. It must’ve been that weird hair lipped trainer she’s been hanging with.

    After I read “The Prince” in college I began a 10 year streak of acid and crystal meth use to rival even the proudest celeb!

  11. Crap Tonight

    So now she wants us to believe that not only does she date people who read but that she, also reads. Stretching the bounds of credibility a bit there Linds.

  12. my comment

    I suggest she read ‘Final Exit’.
    It’s bestselling how-to book about suicide.

  13. Crap Tonight

    Hey, I think that Lindsday and Petra on the post below are wearing the same glasses. Fancy that

  14. VictorIsAClosetFag

    I think she meant Prince Albert.

  15. Tim

    I think she was referring to one of his less known works, “Living with Herpes”.

  16. gueststar

    well… considering the weight Maquiavelli puts on the need of prudence maybe is not such a bad idea she’s reading that stuff… She could start by just shutting the fuck up with such silly remarks… but thank god she must have fallen unconsious after reading one page of it and for our delight she’ll just keep being her fucking stupid self

  17. Sportsdvl

    This is completely unbelievable!!! Lohan can read? Come on SuperFish, where do you come up with this stuff?

  18. I’m 97% sure she is referencing the album cover of the Tupac album, “Makaveli” … and I doubt she can get through all that.

  19. Edeath


    Who’s feeding you that bullshit?? Louis XIV of France was born in 1638 and Machiavelli died in 1527.


  20. michelle

    We know Lindsay cannot spell based on the letter she wrote awhile back (I think about Al Gore? I cannot remember) so we can conclude that her reading abilities are about as worse. Even one of those baby picture books with animals is too advanced for her.

  21. maeby

    I think that she was actually referring to “Joe Machiavelli”.

    the author of such books like , “Condoms are for pussies” and “The white powder diet”

  22. lambman

    LOL serenity prayers and Machiavelli awesome combination! I don’t want to call her a hyprocrit, but …no actually I do.

  23. lambman

    PS maybe she can make a movie version called “The drunken spoiled Princess”

  24. Brenna

    this just proves she is really a big ass idiot. the girl needs a serious PR machine to help her out. machiavelli… sheesh…

  25. lepat

    Linds, could you adaquit breathing? Please?

  26. lepat

    My god! I misspelled her misspelling!

  27. 21st century digital boy

    In other news, Lohan plans to start a book club and brainiac society including other such celebrity intellectual giants as Paris “I’m-totally-holding-a-Bible” Hilton, and George W.”I’m-a-readin’-Camus-existential-literature” Bush.

  28. Lowlands

    I’m just mentioning this to be sure LL is reading the right book.’Machiavelli’ isn’t the name of a fashion house or an taste of Italian icecream.

  29. LL

    I love how people (not just celebrities) choose one book (and only one book, because let’s face it, reading is boring and most people just don’t have the time, what with all the great stuff on TV, to read more than one book in their lifetime) to base all their life decisions on. I’m seriously considering writing a book titled “Here’s How to Act Like an Adult, Dumbasses” and fill it with startling insights like, “Don’t drink excessively” and “Promiscuous sex can lead to poor self-image and the herps.” Then I’ll just sit back and watch the money roll in. Then I’ll replace Oprah. Because I have all the answers. She can keep Steadman and Gayle, once the world gets wind of my superwisdom, I’ll have to beat people off with a stick. Which sounds really fun, actually.

  30. johnsmith

    there is no cunting, fuck shit way this fucking shit cunt would ever understand the fucking classical parts of text, unlike me; forced by the lash of the cane. Fucking unforgetable.

  31. @21 – Brilliant. I kind of want to read “Condoms Are for Pussies” …

  32. I think she meant that she’s now down with Thug Life.

  33. We-Le-Surrender....


    Maybe she will fall off the wagon, hit a tree while being chased by paparazzi and James Blunt and Avril Lavigne can co-write a tribute song for her….

    How about “Fart in the breeze”?
    Candle in the wind is already taken….

  34. norton

    She has SUCH a stressful life… what a pathetic slit.

  35. lemon tree

    Why do celebs try to pull this kind of thing? I mean, do they really think that they can bluff their way through declaring something like that? If someone were to actually ask her questions about it, her head would probably explode!! (Hey, now there’s an idea!!) At the very least she should’ve choosen a book that was slightly more believable!

    #27 – Fucking hilarious!! : ) Wish I would’ve said it!!

  36. lis

    As many problems as I have with Hohan, she is attempting to educate herself. Which is a lot more than most of us expected her to be at this point (which was having a welcome-back-from-rehab coke-snort off someone’s iphone/bathroom floor/erect penis)

    Perhaps now she will actually be able to read her own scripts!

  37. Yourfairytale

    Lindsay Lohan – reading?! No, seriously. That’s just silly.

  38. XavierH

    Assuming she actually can read (a stretch, I know), she’d do better with Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Smaller words, some sex scenes, what’s not to like?

  39. BWestie

    Well we know she can read. Maybe now she can start working on her reading comprehension. Something tells me she didn’t really get it.

  40. lilz

    #38 Keep Ayn Rand away from her: let’s hope she doesn’t find The Fountainhead or you can say good bye to every building in LA.

  41. BlohansDeviatedSpetum

    The only thing this waste of skin should be “reading” is a suicide manual.

  42. lis

    Nono, I don’t think that would fly. The prince is what, 150 pages? Atlas Shrugged is around 1000? Although, the additional pages could be used to snort coke with after she’s read them….

  43. BaldAsBritney

    Yes the book is always with her, much like the warts, the herpes and the craving for blow.

  44. leelee

    obviously the person who told her to read Machiavelli’s The Prince was totally making fun of her, and the joke just went over her head.

  45. Has anyone actually seen her READ it?

  46. Mia

    The Prince is not about compromising your morals: that’s a commmon misinterpretation of Machiavelli. It was written to Lorenzo de Medici as a smartass “how-to” about politics, coups, and the glory of the king. Had Lorenzo actually read it, he would had Machiavelli beheaded so it makes TOTAL sense for Lohan to read in rehab for advice. Wow. Couldn’t her rep have given her a better book to bs about, you know, one that would actually make sense for her to pretend to read?

  47. Aqualuvbug

    Machiavelli was actually not the master manipulator people think. But,……, What! That little bunt needs to read Lao Tzu or maybe “You Can Heal Your Live” or how about some Stephen Covey.

    Stop trying to convince the world of your depth, Lindsay. You don’t even believe yourself. You’re about as deep as a mountain (get it, mountains have no depth) Mount…. Oh, forget it!

  48. aqualuvbug

    johnsmith is my new hero!!!!

  49. Jillian

    it may have been written as a satire, but it’s pioneered today as the main book saying “the end justifies the means”. do whatever the hell you need to do, trample on people, lie, whatever, to get to where you need to be. I find it quite fitting for her, O Lindsay of Loose Morals.

  50. Danklin24

    I’m sure she has Machiavelli and some Italian designer with a similar name confused with one another, it happens. Just last week i had the Dalai Lama and Dolce & Gabbana confused.

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