Lindsay Lohan tops Maxim’s Hot 100

May 16th, 2007 // 90 Comments
lohan-sued.jpg

For some reason Lindsay Lohan has topped Maxim’s 2007 Hot 100 List. And by topped I mean topped. As in number one. I don’t know what the fuck is going on over at Maxim but I suspect their editors have all been replaced by 12-year-old girls. Or the mentally challenged. Or the blind. Wherever you are right now I bet you could point to three people hotter than Lindsay Lohan. Hell, you could point to the fax machine on your desk and you’d still be correct.

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Comments (90)

  1. FIRST | May 16, 2007 at 8:12 am

    FIRST!

    Reply
  2. freckles | May 16, 2007 at 8:13 am

    oh my frist GOD!

    Reply
  3. DrPhowstus | May 16, 2007 at 8:14 am

    I think the Maxim staff (ahem) topped her first.

    Reply
  4. Fifth Stooge | May 16, 2007 at 8:17 am

    Her brain seems bruised with numb surprise.

    Reply
  5. Kate | May 16, 2007 at 8:20 am

    How many BJs did she give to make this happen?? However many it was, it was not nearly enough…what a travesty. In a world where we have Jessica Biel’s booty and Charlize Theron’s face, Lindsay Lohan is # 1?!

    Reply
  6. FRIST!!! | May 16, 2007 at 8:21 am

    EW EW EW EW!!!! WTC is wrong with people??!!?? She is the ugliest skank ho I have ever seen, and I was stuck in a holding cell with prostitutes with facial herpes that were cuter than her…

    Reply
  7. Josh | May 16, 2007 at 8:21 am

    Maxim is turning into a teeny bopper magazine. They have a section where their featuring “hot right now” and its usually the teenies superfish makes fun of.

    on a lighter note, did anyone catch the Geico Caveman spread? HOT!

    Reply
  8. NicotineEyePatch | May 16, 2007 at 8:22 am

    It is Maxim, after all. Their “Man of the Year” is probably Joe Francis.

    Reply
  9. The_Squizz | May 16, 2007 at 8:22 am

    Maxim has proven how insignificant it is. For Christ sake, Kim Kardashian is on the list. Hey, maybe the list is top 100 DISEASED.

    Reply
  10. leasypoo | May 16, 2007 at 8:23 am

    I guess they forgot her raging case of herpes on that thing she calls a vagina when they were making this list…

    Reply
  11. JungleRed | May 16, 2007 at 8:23 am

    I didn’t realize gay men were so into Lindsay Lohan.

    Reply
  12. Bern | May 16, 2007 at 8:24 am

    I heard that being a coke-slut with VD put her over the top.

    Reply
  13. Darren | May 16, 2007 at 8:26 am

    If “HOT” is defined as makes me wanna puke, she is definitely the “hottest”!

    Reply
  14. BarbadoSlim | May 16, 2007 at 8:27 am

    Lindsay Lohan, Bea Arthur, this is bullshit, it would have made no fucking difference, if you read Maxim you are a doooooooshbag.

    Reply
  15. Slash | May 16, 2007 at 8:29 am

    Yeah, I usually don’t give a shit about “hottest/most beautiful” lists, but this was odd. Hotter than Biel? Hotter than Alba? Hotter than Beckinsale? Fuck and No. Hell, Lohan’s barely hotter than Paris. Only because she actually has a rack does she move up on the list above P. Hilton. I’m hotter than Lohan and I’m twice her age. Her agents/mom must have been working overtime behind the scenes, in various ways, to pull this shit off. And for all that effort, they get bad PR in return, like when the Simpson dad or Beyonce’s dad try to pimp – I mean, promote – their daughters till nobody can stand the sight of them anymore. Watching Lohan stumble around from one dick to another and then expecting us to buy her as the “hottest”… ain’t gonna happen.

    Reply
  16. BarbadoSlim | May 16, 2007 at 8:30 am

    Hmmmmmm, Bea arthur……where is my Golden Girls season 1 box-set…

    Reply
  17. GerryMac | May 16, 2007 at 8:32 am

    As previously attractive celebrities continue to let themselves deteriorate, the highlight of this site has become clicking on Bern’s blog link to see his daily outrageous breast shot. Today’s is one for the ages dude.

    Reply
  18. AsymetricEnemy | May 16, 2007 at 8:35 am

    Seriously, Maxim has always been beyond stupid. This is just another way it’s slowly morphing into Seventeen Magazine for guys.

    “OMG! LIEK, LINDSAY LOHAN IS SOOO HAWTTT. SHE IS TTLY NUMBAR ONE!”

    “NO WAI, PARIS HILTON IS HOTTER, DUDE!”

    This will be followed by rough, confusing gay sex.

    Reply
  19. Tami | May 16, 2007 at 8:39 am

    I was shocked to hear that Lohan was the hottest (in what category) most freckels, most attention seeker or my teeth are getting bad because of my eating issues? Where is Angelina Jolie?

    Reply
  20. Raquel | May 16, 2007 at 8:40 am

    I’ll never tire of reading their blurb for LL:

    “Tabloid bloodsuckers have been feasting on this Long Island native for three years running, but that’s only because this unbelievably beautiful, untamable Golden Age throwback with a nonstop social calendar and acclaimed acting chops is Ann-Margret, Meryl Streep, and Sophia Loren rolled into one.”

    So true, so true…

    Reply
  21. honeycomb'sbig_yeahyeahyeah! | May 16, 2007 at 8:43 am

    Maxim is 100% accurate. Places where infection is rampant are labeled “hot” zones and surely she must be number 1. She probably made the AMA & WHO list of hotness as well. bzing!

    Reply
  22. LeeLee | May 16, 2007 at 8:44 am

    haha! Maxim is trying to be cool! Thinking Lindsay Lohan is even possibly attractive is soo five minutes ago and now, so is Maxim.

    Reply
  23. BarbadoSlim | May 16, 2007 at 8:58 am

    A movie studio with a critically panned movie, a young “star”(?) who got paid 10 mil.

    Now this “award” ….COINCIDENCE?

    I THINK NOT!

    Reply
  24. KC | May 16, 2007 at 9:00 am

    Crazy! I think someone screwed up, she was supposed to be #101.

    Reply
  25. Conner Kent | May 16, 2007 at 9:03 am

    They pick who is “hot” also based on how much publicity they get. And Lindsay whores it up for the paparazzi all the time, so the editor said she wins.

    Reply
  26. GreatRack | May 16, 2007 at 9:05 am

    The four horsemen ride tonight….
    Thanks Maxim….

    Reply
  27. Judy | May 16, 2007 at 9:06 am

    Better clean the lenses in your glasses because Lindsay is “hot” and getting hotter. Ha! Ha!

    Reply
  28. F-Sucker | May 16, 2007 at 9:12 am

    Top 100 Crack Whores?

    I’d still slam her in the pooper, though.

    Reply
  29. Superevil | May 16, 2007 at 9:17 am

    Way to be a day late fish.

    Reply
  30. mada | May 16, 2007 at 9:18 am

    http://www.maximonline.com/slideshows/index.aspx?slideId=3642&imgCollectId=190

    This bitch isn’t even real and she made the list.

    Reply
  31. cambel | May 16, 2007 at 9:21 am

    .
    Maxim’s Excuse is that she gets ton’s of attention from the Paparazzi. Yeah, well Maxim, that doesn’t seem to stop her movies from bombing does it? Sounds like somebody wants to keep her famous so they can keep selling Entertainment Weekly or something. Hell Kirsty Alley gets Paparazzi following her and I don’t see her ass on your list. This is just stupid.

    Reply
  32. Danklin | May 16, 2007 at 9:21 am

    Lohan hotter than Alba…What the fuck?

    Reply
  33. cambel | May 16, 2007 at 9:27 am

    And the whole thing of making the rankings based on attention is just stupid. If it is based on attention then DON”T call it the “Hot List” call it “Paparazzi List” or something. I mean are they SERIOUSLY trying to tell me that Lohan is hotter than THIS girl who isn’t on the list???

    http://www.icey.tv/home.php

    Reply
  34. Rogue | May 16, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Hell, they put Ashley Olsen 37th. She shouldn’t even be in the top 1000. Crack smoking abounds…

    Reply
  35. techclerk | May 16, 2007 at 9:29 am

    Please let that cheerleader chick on Heroes start taking away Lohan’s attention….

    In Jesus’s name, Amen.

    Reply
  36. leasypoo | May 16, 2007 at 9:31 am

    any second now we’ll be hearing the editor has died from severe crotch rot, he of course caught this when hohan and her mum violently raped him with their oozing va-jay-jays until he promised to put hohan as number one…

    Reply
  37. liu374 | May 16, 2007 at 9:32 am

    “Wherever you are right now I bet you could point to three people hotter than Lindsay Lohan”

    1. Aquafina bottle (half-empty)
    2. Yellow highlighter
    3. Post-it Note pad.

    Reply
  38. p911gt10c | May 16, 2007 at 9:43 am

    What in blue Christ is wrong with Maxim???? I have issues going back to 99 when the mag was almost as thick as a catalogue and every page was entertaining!
    Now the mag is physically thinner and smaller, less content of interest and more golf and fishing! Now THIS?@?!?! That’s it, once my subscription runs out, I’m done with Maxim.
    Nice goin Jellinek! Your “new direction” for Maxim ended up in the shitter.

    Reply
  39. honeydew | May 16, 2007 at 9:45 am

    @9 I think you might have something there.

    @18 LOL

    Reply
  40. titsonsnack | May 16, 2007 at 9:47 am

    Because anybody reads Maxim anymore. It’s not 2002.

    Reply
  41. Jeremy | May 16, 2007 at 9:51 am

    Hey, some of us find 45 year old coke sluts to be VERY attractive. Whats that? Only 20 years old you say? Oh dear.

    Reply
  42. Plastic Sturgeon | May 16, 2007 at 10:05 am

    There have to be a series of blow jobs invovled. There is simply no other explanation.

    Reply
  43. blpressure | May 16, 2007 at 10:11 am

    I will never buy that stupid magazine ever for that decision.

    Reply
  44. Miss Skyline | May 16, 2007 at 10:12 am

    LMAO @ 37. I didn’t realize that looking like a drug-addled whore was SO attractive. Seriously!

    Reply
  45. blpressure | May 16, 2007 at 10:13 am

    btw, this is the last time Lindsay was hot
    http://img123.imageshack.us/img123/8597/vlcsnap335065vb9.png

    That was even before Mean Girls, when she grew tree trunks for legs.

    Reply
  46. The superfish guy is on coke | May 16, 2007 at 10:14 am

    There was once a time when I actually used to inadvertly promote Maxim magazine because lets face it, it had some funny writers but now the garner no respect from me. How in the fuck can they put this scab, who if she wasn’t famous, I PROBABLY wouldn’t fuck her?? I mean, c’mon guys , thats pretty fuckin’ low.

    Reply
  47. captain obvious | May 16, 2007 at 10:17 am

    wow, that is quite bizarre. she looks like a freakin female version of danny bonadouchebag, for cripes sake! I would say the list is certainly fixed. Or the people who made it are either mentally challenged or asexual.

    Reply
  48. blpressure | May 16, 2007 at 10:17 am

    If you click on the Maxim link and click next picture, you see the woman @#100 is 100x hotter than that Ho.

    Reply
  49. Danielle | May 16, 2007 at 10:17 am

    Lindsay is #1 because her every move is followed and the press goes “dada” for her when she steps foot inside a club or bar.

    She’s #1 because of her celebrity, not her looks.

    Read the magazine.

    Reply
  50. LifesAbitch | May 16, 2007 at 10:25 am

    shez ugly bitch
    like that
    other bitch
    named mia…

    Reply
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