Lindsay Lohan sex tape stolen during burglary

August 26th, 2009 // 74 Comments

Apparently the safe stolen from Lindsay Lohan’s home over the weekend is chock full of scandal-ly goodness, according to the Chicago Sun-Times:

I’ve learned the real reason Lindsay Lohan is so upset about the theft of the safe from her L.A. house is the contents included some very incriminating videos and photos, plus legal documents, that LiLo believes could cause embarrassment if made public.

Here’s what I don’t get: If during a lapse of judgment you made a sex tape that you never want to see the light of day, why not destroy it instead of keeping it around for someone to find? It’s not like 50 years from now you’re going to want to watch yourself drunkenly bang a stranger through the lens of a cellphone camera. Unless that’s what old people do when nobody’s looking which explains their shifty eyes… Grandma.

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. Que

    Que scandalous.

  2. devilsrain

    Cant wait to see it

  3. Shamus O'Hara

    They should put it on Pay Per View .

  4. Mac

    Done intentionally for publicity. Her career is in the gutter. Need to make the front page of the tabloids some how.

  5. Stupid stars!
    Make your sextape, download it on a computer, and encrypt the hell out of it! Otherwise, destroy it. So simple, it’s what I do to all of mine.

  6. Ego

    I’d watch it

  7. Superbiggerevil

    Yeah, I’ll bet the dude in the video with her goes by the name SamANTHA.

  8. paris and kims were better

    I dont think I’d be that terribly interested in watching it. She don’t look too appetizing anymore.

  9. J.

    God I hope it is true!!!!!!!!

  10. Anon

    “included some very incriminating videos and photos”

    Might not be a sex tape but vids of her arranging dog fights?
    Hitting disabled people?
    or I Know Who Killed Me ?

  11. R.I.P.Each

    This Bitch puts the pube back in pubicity, I’ll tell ya.

    Intentional or not, this the entry to the next level of her Hell that we all have been warming our hands over for for quite some time now, no?
    Long live the infernal Hohan tape!

  12. J.

    God I hope this article is true

  13. Taz

    we have seen it all already!

  14. Ibinixer

    Co-Staring Ted Kennedy; she killed him with her grassy knoll.

  15. Bunchy

    Thanks Linds! How am I going to explain the tape to my wife?

  16. sheana

    are they really ‘tapes’? you’d think everyone nowadays would be using dvd camcorders, or something a little more current technologywise. i always picture these sex-tape celebs with a wall of vhs tapes.

  17. Cash

    All the money this whore has, and she couldn’t afford a copy of TrueCrypt?

    Eh, she deserves to have her private life smeared all over the internets.

  18. sixpack

    Now we can finally see how large Sam’s cock really is. Looking forward to seeing this freckly animal fuck.

  19. Deacon Jones

    Dude, I am so buying this tape.

    You know those flashing, obnoxius porn sites that offer these tapes for $49.99? Well, I definitely be one of the dumb fucks that pays that price (and downloads a virus) to watch it.

  20. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    I’m looking forward to finding out if she is covered EVERYWHERE with freckles.

  21. What a stupid little bitch

    “Here’s what I don’t get: If during a lapse of judgment you made a sex tape that you never want to see the light of day, why not destroy it instead of keeping it around for someone to find?”

    Answer – Because she’s a self centered, conceited, arrogant little dumbfuck. Either this was purposely done for publicity (I wouldn’t put it past her; she probably sold the tape to Vivid & will pocket the proceeds from it’s upcoming sale), or the only person she thinks is worthy of fucking her is herself. I’ll bet she fantasizes about it all the time; the sex tape is one way to “keep the dream alive”…

  22. Kelley

    Uh oh … this gets better and better; more vile family members come out in her defense with complete bullshit about her character. By the way, what went down with the jewel theft ? If they had cleared her name, wouldn’t we have heard about it by now ? For fuck’s sake, she stole someone’s fur coat … she lives on sugar, smokes, Red Bull and Coke (and coke) … she looks like boiled shit for someone 22.

  23. What a stupid little bitch

    “Here’s what I don’t get: If during a lapse of judgment you made a sex tape that you never want to see the light of day, why not destroy it instead of keeping it around for someone to find?”

    Answer – Because she’s a self centered, conceited, arrogant little dumbfuck. Either this was purposely done for publicity (I wouldn’t put it past her; she probably sold the tape to Vivid & will pocket the proceeds from it’s upcoming sale), or the only person she thinks is worthy of fucking her is herself. I’ll bet she fantasizes about it all the time; the sex tape is one way to “keep the dream alive”…

  24. John

    So I guess we finally get to see if SaMANtha Ronson has a big ol wee-wee??

  25. ROUGH daddy

    God! North American stars are so spoil, they need to learn so much from their South American counter parts in what to do in a sex tape…

  26. I am shocked and can’t understand how this thing happened!! Is this true??? Really somewhat strange to believe.

  27. EB

    If keeps aging as badly as she does now, she will look like Grandma in a few years

  28. stickykeys

    oh yeeaahhh…
    econobox of lotion and kleenex at the ready.

  29. abby

    Sucks for her. Where can I watch video?

  30. Dirk Diggler

    I think Lindsay Lohan would be a wild fuck. She looks like the type of girl who really wants some dick and really gets into it and excited when she starts fucking. I bet she does a lot of biting and scratching. Yup, I’m looking forward to this.

  31. Omar

    LiLo, nobody cares or wants to see your lizard back. Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna see it even if it does get released.

  32. TheMuffinMan

    I would very much like to see this tape. Will she be doing the penis or will she lick rug?

  33. Dirk Diggler

    I think Lindsay Lohan would be a wild fuck. She looks like the type of girl who really wants some dick and really gets into it and excited when she starts fucking. I bet she does a lot of biting and nail scratching. Yup, I’m looking forward to this.

  34. Mama Pinkus

    she’s worried it will embarrass her? I did not think that was possible

  35. Nameless

    What the hell are “included some very incriminating videos and photos”?

    If its a sex tape, well sex isn’t a crime unless she taping herself with one of her johns.

  36. Hiding Under The Bed

    “30. Dirk Diggler – August 26, 2009 3:09 PM

    I think Lindsay Lohan would be a wild fuck. She looks like the type of girl who really wants some dick and really gets into it and excited when she starts fucking. I bet she does a lot of biting and scratching. Yup, I’m looking forward to this.”

    Nah, I bet she cries the whole time, wishing that someone would love her, cherish her and take care of her – all while she’s getting rammed hard by some random drug dealer willing to front her an eight-ball.

    Yeah, I’d hit it.

  37. Kelley

    And keep going braless for the paps, Lindsay, and you’ll have some fine ugly beaver tail tits shortly. Very shortly. Redheds don’t age well to begin with.

  38. Martina

    lol …. I’m sure she’s VERY VERY distressed that that sex tape might be released !

    I mean, her “career” has tanked and a hot sex tape might just destroy what’s left of it (or NOT).

  39. boomrpup

    Yeah, I’l love to see those Nat-Geo tits hanging low like a couple of zucchinis while Sammy hammers away from behind with a strap-on…*burp*…ugh, I think I just tasted a little of my own vomit?

  40. Alejandra

    nobody noticed she has a new lips??????

  41. Randall

    I can’t wait to see this tape while i jerk it hanging from my belt in a closet wearing fishnets and a wig.

    Randall

  42. yoodle

    I bet in the sex tape she’s fucking a dog… oh wait!!! yeah, she is!!!

  43. DragonaryTeal

    @36 I totally agree!!! I can’t wait to watch. As long as they are a couple years back the new Lohan looks gross.

  44. Nathiest

    Every time a celebrity house gets broken into there are always story’s posted the next day about a sextape being stolen. BS!

  45. dude

    unless she’s shaggin some hot chick (obv not sam) then i’m not inhterested. and btw she probly faked this burglary in order to cover herself and claim someone else leaked her porn which i’m sure shed do herself to remain relevant..

  46. Long Hitter 24

    Please don’t let it be with Sam. Please God!

  47. Annie Loves Anal

    Obviously a set up. If there is no police report, you KNOW she leaked the tape and/or that porn guy that gave her that car did (with her permission). There was word going ’round she had gotten an offer from a porn producer. I wonder how much she got to make it. I hope to God she laid off the spray tan during the sex scenes. It would be gross to see that shit smeared all over the place.

  48. herbiefrog

    #20. yes she was [and is : ))] hey babe : ))

  49. herbiefrog

    we’ll try to avoid it

    [[[wish we could believe him

    …maybe

    … … … … … ?> one day ? ?>

  50. herbiefrog

    .
    .
    .
    .
    ?pollyanna ?

    [[[wh a t ? …shh

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