UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan sex tape exists, looks like crap

March 20th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Word of a Lindsay Lohan sex tape has been around for a while, but this recent pic (above) is apparently a preview clip of the video that hit the web in the past 24 hours. Gossip Rocks is saying this is the real deal:

Apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video.
Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”.

Lindsay Lohan can’t remember something. Hmm, how out of character. I wonder if she suffers from amnesia… Wait, this just in: She’s a drunken sexbot from the planet Whore-u-tron. And there have you it. Science has spoken.

NOTE: Pic links to a super blurry but still NSFW version. If you’re confused as to what’s going on, it’s the exact same thing as the Kristin Davis photo but consists of way shittier photographic quality. I mean, it looks like Bigfoot’s drinking out of a water fountain – with testicles.

UPDATE: Victor over at The Blemish just informed me this is not Lindsay Lohan. Apparently this is a shot from a pre-existing porno that is sans the fiery nether region. Video here, way NSFW. Thanks for the heads-up, Victor, and proving my theory that it is, indeed, Bigfoot in that photo. Sexy!

superficial

  1. woodhorse

    Put all of these guys’ videos/camera shots in a gay porn site. Let them be the bitch for awhile.

  2. Quick and Eager Learner

    #16

    TT, Would you care to share your secrets? I’ve been told I’m very good, but I’m always willing to improve all skills.

  3. friendlyfires

    OMG, that’s not even a broad – it’s a guy in a wig!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    wait … wait … okay … I think I’m okay … wait …

    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    motherfu-V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    kill me no-V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    better …
    yeah ….
    phew…
    thank gawd, I couldn’t -V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!V O M I T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. lindseylohanslackofmemory

    What I find truly interesting is that she was freaking out about not remembering it being filmed…as if it’s totally likely that it was filmed, she’s just doesn’t remember.

    Oh Lindsey…you so crazy.

  5. george

    who is that lucky guy? Lindsay acts like a whore! I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It is said she is in relationship with a young billionaire now.

  6. King Wang

    Sweet! THE ONLY article on here in a while that actually made me think:

    “NOW THAT SHIT MAKES SENSE”!

    Take ONE Part Coked-Out Whore, ONE Part Drunken Retard, ONE Mouse Hung (unlike me) Man and you have:

    The Spitzer Cocktail, except I wouldn’t pay Lindsay Lohan, but if they would let me do a 4-way with her, and the Spears girls (hey, you KNOW they put out for free, hell, they got retarded pumpkins to prove it) and I WOULD PAY FOR THAT!

    But only if I can kick them out afterwards. No tapes either, it will only depress me that someone so popular isn’t any good at sex (unlike me).

  7. Jim

    It is not clear.If you want know more about her,you can go to “SeekingRich.com”.Beacause she is a member of that website.You can find her,and more cute girls,more rich,handsome men on “SeekingRich.com”.They want to make friends with you.

  8. jms

    “OMG, that’s not even a broad – it’s a guy in a wig!”

    Thats why I don’t like blowjob scenes. Theres really no difference if its a girl or a guy.

  9. Naz

    #17, we’re glad you’re repeating your posts, and mentioning them like they’re original, but to answer your question: guys care about slutty celebs having sex. Guys like watching people have sex, this is why we buy porn. Add to that the fact that the broad is famous, and we’ll watch. And Lohan is hot too. So we have hot slutty celeb porn–something most guys would watch (well, the straight ones).

  10. Naz

    #59, WTF? Yes there is a goddamn difference. Hmm, how about one’s a chick giving a blowjob and the other is a fucking guy?!?
    That’s why you don’t like blowjob scenes — whatever.

  11. kraizy

    hey there, i JUST NOW found this whole Lindsay Lohan “sex tape” thing… I just wanted to inform everyone that, THIS IS MY SEX TAPE!!! haha I MADE THIS VIDEO!!! it’s me and my girlfriend, i had it on Xtube…. I had nooooo idea that this was floating around the internet soooooo much!!!! if you want an actual original video, e-mail me!! kraizyklown@yahoo.com

  12. Finally found the Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape…

    that would actually run..

    Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape – http://imagefling.com/dluploads/Lindsay_Lohan_Sex_Tape_36MB.hta

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