UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan sex tape exists, looks like crap

March 20th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Word of a Lindsay Lohan sex tape has been around for a while, but this recent pic (above) is apparently a preview clip of the video that hit the web in the past 24 hours. Gossip Rocks is saying this is the real deal:

Apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video.
Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”.

Lindsay Lohan can’t remember something. Hmm, how out of character. I wonder if she suffers from amnesia… Wait, this just in: She’s a drunken sexbot from the planet Whore-u-tron. And there have you it. Science has spoken.

NOTE: Pic links to a super blurry but still NSFW version. If you’re confused as to what’s going on, it’s the exact same thing as the Kristin Davis photo but consists of way shittier photographic quality. I mean, it looks like Bigfoot’s drinking out of a water fountain – with testicles.

UPDATE: Victor over at The Blemish just informed me this is not Lindsay Lohan. Apparently this is a shot from a pre-existing porno that is sans the fiery nether region. Video here, way NSFW. Thanks for the heads-up, Victor, and proving my theory that it is, indeed, Bigfoot in that photo. Sexy!

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Comments (63)

  1. Rowan | March 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Wow. That’s shocking.

    Reply
  2. O'Hara | March 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Slut.

    Reply
  3. pointandlaugh | March 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    FIRST!!!!!

    Reply
  4. Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    if she would have released this herself two years ago, it could have helped her career.

    Reply
  5. pointandlaugh | March 20, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    LOL. Dang it. a 3-way tie for first.

    Reply
  6. scott | March 20, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    whoa

    Reply
  7. will | March 20, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    @pointandlaugh: Kill yourself, loser.

    Reply
  8. aha | March 20, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

    Reply
  9. tr00 norwegian black metal | March 20, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    very kvlt and grim of her

    Reply
  10. Fartknocker | March 20, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Glad to see her enjoying some summer sausage.

    Reply
  11. FRIST!!! | March 20, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    It was only a matter of time, way to keep up with the Kardashian’s, Lindsay!!

    Reply
  12. Truth | March 20, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Lindsay is a murderer. It is written neither fornicators adulterers or murderers shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Not to mention aids or the crabs.

    Reply
  13. Jimbo | March 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    I for one am shocked!!

    Reply
  14. 1 MILF Hunter | March 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Can’t be her. She wouldn’t have been sober enough to complete the act. After her rehab stint – that’s a different story.

    Reply
  15. Guy | March 20, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Thats silly, everyone knows Lindsy is a virgin.

    Reply
  16. Texas Tranny | March 20, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    Not a very good cocksucker……………..

    Reply
  17. Erica. | March 20, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Haha at 15.
    Jokes, jokess.

    I’m still sick of seeing this. I said this one whatever the fuck her name is, Kristin Davis’ post. Everyone has sex, well most. Who cares about slutty celebs doing it? Unless their hot..:)

    Reply
  18. Sheva | March 20, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Once again, she’s one me over. She the best Lowhore in the world!

    Reply
  19. Swallows | March 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Just goes to show you all girls suck cock!

    Reply
  20. Kris | March 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Italian sausage wasn’t getting the job done!

    Reply
  21. PimpMammaM | March 20, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    From that pic, looks like she could be doin a line.

    Reply
  22. wowlindsay | March 20, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Wow its lindsay lohan doing something gross whats new.

    Reply
  23. arligt | March 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    15; Hah, that’s funny.

    What the hell are celebritites doing now a days by the way ? Besides whoring around ofcourse. The superficial has become such an pornosite. The world needs some non-sex related news, indeed; it’s getting quite troublish to hang around at the superficial by daytime. For Gods sake, my mom is sitting 5 m from me playing piano. And do I realy wanna hear her nag on about “why I can’t stop watching these pornostuff, why I havn’t still moved out, why I don’t have a life, blah blah blah…”. Dammit, let a man be a – oups, her she comes. Gotta go!

    Reply
  24. Carol | March 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Looks like there is a third party filming. Interesting

    Reply
  25. Daniel | March 20, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    I’m pretty sure sex tapes aren’t even a scandal in Hollywood anymore, I mean… I’d think we’re starting to figure out that like 99.9% of humanity, celebrities like to have sex too, and it just so happens, for whatever reasons (publicity) they like to make videos, and take pictures of them doing it. Perhaps it’s just them being vain, but anywho…

    I don’t care anymore.

    Reply
  26. usnraptor | March 20, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    Boring! Boring!

    They’ve all done this now. The next threshold will be which one is video’d taking it up the ass.

    Reply
  27. boredom | March 20, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    That man needs to get himself an N95 with superior video taking capabilities. For someone who’s probably rich and banging what of course is Lohan he sure does have a crappy ass camera phone

    Reply
  28. Matthew | March 20, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    is her I wonder what dina “Parting mom” lohan cooks up a good excuss for her

    Reply
  29. Ted from LA | March 20, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    It looks like a Monet.

    Reply
  30. Ted Mosby | March 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    I could’ve sworn she was a hands free head bobber.

    Reply
  31. Abdo | March 20, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Whatever!..Everybody knows who is lindsay lohan
    The parent’s trap innocent child was dead years ago

    Reply
  32. leg | March 20, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    now we can OFFICIALLY call her BLOWHAN.

    Reply
  33. Armenian Comedian | March 20, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    I only wish there was someone screaming “No wammy, No wammy, Stop” and then pounding Lindsey on the top of the head for good measures.

    Reply
  34. monkeyfightclub | March 20, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    at least she’s serious about the task at hand and not mugging for the camera like Kristin Davis.

    Reply
  35. Hai Ku | March 20, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Blowhan blows for coke
    However, clients get herpes
    Therefore no one wins

    Reply
  36. titsonsnack | March 20, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    First of all, yawn. Like the idea of Lindsay Lohan gobbling all sorts of knobs is something new.
    Secondly, the real issue here should not Lindsay’s escapades but rather WHO on EARTH owns a cell phone this shitty.
    Thirdly, my cat is sitting on me and she kind of stinks like poo.

    Reply
  37. crazypants | March 20, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    I feel bad for the girl –

    I mean on one hand, hell yeah Lindsay Lohan is blowing me, I wish I had a picture!

    On the other hand, is anyone a gentleman anymore?

    Dudes enjoy the blowjob and stop thinking of how cool its gonna be to show and tell your boys about it later. Seriously, you’re thinking about your boys while getting a blow job…what does that tell you about yourself?

    And to all of you calling her slut and whore – are you a slut and whore when you blow your boyfriend or are you some sort of uptight prude?

    Reply
  38. washington | March 20, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    Looks like the pic and video is probably fake. Go to the later pages of that GR thread.

    Reply
  39. JEN IS LOOKING HOT! | March 20, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    THAT,S NOTHING! SHE WAS JUST WORKING THE ROOM! THAT GUY WAS ONLY NUMBER 27 IN LINE! YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE WHAT THE GUY BEHIND HER WAS DOING! WEAK!

    Reply
  40. George | March 20, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    It just goes to show you how many stupid women are out there allowing men to take photos of them having sex and video taping too.

    Reply
  41. Auntie Kryst | March 20, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    I’m at work, so I can’t watch this yet. By chance is there audio, and if so can we hear Dina Lohan in the background giving her daughter directions on giving head? WTG Momager.

    Reply
  42. Vas Deferens | March 20, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    So boring. Nobody cares.

    Reply
  43. Trover | March 20, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Like we needed some tape to prove that she is a whore. YAWN…. already seen her bits, not impressed.

    Reply
  44. whatever | March 20, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    @ 35 – Not to be picky or anything, but Haikus have a 5, 7, 5 formula. Which would work if for some strange reason “clients” is one syllable in whatever accent you speak with. Just focusing on the important stuff, you know?

    As far as Blowhan is concerned . . . Why does anyone care? Most of the chicks on porn sites are way hotter than this dumb bitch.

    Reply
  45. John | March 20, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    haha nice link. some guy fucking a flashlight vagina next to that video. yeah i watched!!

    Reply
  46. pointandlaugh | March 20, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    #7 Will: ooooo I got TOLD.

    Whatev

    Reply
  47. Lowlands | March 20, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    I haven’t seen before such a weird crackpipe??

    Reply
  48. RR | March 20, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Whatever… this was what Lindsay thought was a private moment between she and her boyfriend. It’s not her fault the loser taped it with his crappy cell phone.

    Half of you chicks do this all the time… the other half of you are divorced because you won’t.

    It’s sex people. Unless she were married to someone else at the time, there’s nothing to see here… move along…

    Reply
  49. iburl | March 20, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    You call that a video? Blah.

    Reply
  50. JakeDaSnake | March 20, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    That is Lindsay I can verify that because…………..Its me she is blowing off there click my link to see the rest of the pics! Im Joking btw!

    Reply

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