UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan sex tape exists, looks like crap

March 20th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Word of a Lindsay Lohan sex tape has been around for a while, but this recent pic (above) is apparently a preview clip of the video that hit the web in the past 24 hours. Gossip Rocks is saying this is the real deal:

Apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video.
Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”.

Lindsay Lohan can’t remember something. Hmm, how out of character. I wonder if she suffers from amnesia… Wait, this just in: She’s a drunken sexbot from the planet Whore-u-tron. And there have you it. Science has spoken.

NOTE: Pic links to a super blurry but still NSFW version. If you’re confused as to what’s going on, it’s the exact same thing as the Kristin Davis photo but consists of way shittier photographic quality. I mean, it looks like Bigfoot’s drinking out of a water fountain – with testicles.

UPDATE: Victor over at The Blemish just informed me this is not Lindsay Lohan. Apparently this is a shot from a pre-existing porno that is sans the fiery nether region. Video here, way NSFW. Thanks for the heads-up, Victor, and proving my theory that it is, indeed, Bigfoot in that photo. Sexy!

superficial

  1. Rowan

    Wow. That’s shocking.

  2. O'Hara

    Slut.

  3. pointandlaugh

    FIRST!!!!!

  4. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    if she would have released this herself two years ago, it could have helped her career.

  5. pointandlaugh

    LOL. Dang it. a 3-way tie for first.

  6. scott

    whoa

  7. will

    @pointandlaugh: Kill yourself, loser.

  8. aha

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

  9. tr00 norwegian black metal

    very kvlt and grim of her

  10. Fartknocker

    Glad to see her enjoying some summer sausage.

  11. It was only a matter of time, way to keep up with the Kardashian’s, Lindsay!!

  12. Truth

    Lindsay is a murderer. It is written neither fornicators adulterers or murderers shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Not to mention aids or the crabs.

  13. I for one am shocked!!

  14. 1 MILF Hunter

    Can’t be her. She wouldn’t have been sober enough to complete the act. After her rehab stint – that’s a different story.

  15. Guy

    Thats silly, everyone knows Lindsy is a virgin.

  16. Not a very good cocksucker……………..

  17. Erica.

    Haha at 15.
    Jokes, jokess.

    I’m still sick of seeing this. I said this one whatever the fuck her name is, Kristin Davis’ post. Everyone has sex, well most. Who cares about slutty celebs doing it? Unless their hot..:)

  18. Sheva

    Once again, she’s one me over. She the best Lowhore in the world!

  19. Swallows

    Just goes to show you all girls suck cock!

  20. Kris

    Italian sausage wasn’t getting the job done!

  21. PimpMammaM

    From that pic, looks like she could be doin a line.

  22. wowlindsay

    Wow its lindsay lohan doing something gross whats new.

  23. arligt

    15; Hah, that’s funny.

    What the hell are celebritites doing now a days by the way ? Besides whoring around ofcourse. The superficial has become such an pornosite. The world needs some non-sex related news, indeed; it’s getting quite troublish to hang around at the superficial by daytime. For Gods sake, my mom is sitting 5 m from me playing piano. And do I realy wanna hear her nag on about “why I can’t stop watching these pornostuff, why I havn’t still moved out, why I don’t have a life, blah blah blah…”. Dammit, let a man be a – oups, her she comes. Gotta go!

  24. Carol

    Looks like there is a third party filming. Interesting

  25. Daniel

    I’m pretty sure sex tapes aren’t even a scandal in Hollywood anymore, I mean… I’d think we’re starting to figure out that like 99.9% of humanity, celebrities like to have sex too, and it just so happens, for whatever reasons (publicity) they like to make videos, and take pictures of them doing it. Perhaps it’s just them being vain, but anywho…

    I don’t care anymore.

  26. usnraptor

    Boring! Boring!

    They’ve all done this now. The next threshold will be which one is video’d taking it up the ass.

  27. boredom

    That man needs to get himself an N95 with superior video taking capabilities. For someone who’s probably rich and banging what of course is Lohan he sure does have a crappy ass camera phone

  28. Matthew

    is her I wonder what dina “Parting mom” lohan cooks up a good excuss for her

  29. Ted from LA

    It looks like a Monet.

  30. Ted Mosby

    I could’ve sworn she was a hands free head bobber.

  31. Abdo

    Whatever!..Everybody knows who is lindsay lohan
    The parent’s trap innocent child was dead years ago

  32. leg

    now we can OFFICIALLY call her BLOWHAN.

  33. Armenian Comedian

    I only wish there was someone screaming “No wammy, No wammy, Stop” and then pounding Lindsey on the top of the head for good measures.

  34. monkeyfightclub

    at least she’s serious about the task at hand and not mugging for the camera like Kristin Davis.

  35. Blowhan blows for coke
    However, clients get herpes
    Therefore no one wins

  36. titsonsnack

    First of all, yawn. Like the idea of Lindsay Lohan gobbling all sorts of knobs is something new.
    Secondly, the real issue here should not Lindsay’s escapades but rather WHO on EARTH owns a cell phone this shitty.
    Thirdly, my cat is sitting on me and she kind of stinks like poo.

  37. crazypants

    I feel bad for the girl –

    I mean on one hand, hell yeah Lindsay Lohan is blowing me, I wish I had a picture!

    On the other hand, is anyone a gentleman anymore?

    Dudes enjoy the blowjob and stop thinking of how cool its gonna be to show and tell your boys about it later. Seriously, you’re thinking about your boys while getting a blow job…what does that tell you about yourself?

    And to all of you calling her slut and whore – are you a slut and whore when you blow your boyfriend or are you some sort of uptight prude?

  38. washington

    Looks like the pic and video is probably fake. Go to the later pages of that GR thread.

  39. THAT,S NOTHING! SHE WAS JUST WORKING THE ROOM! THAT GUY WAS ONLY NUMBER 27 IN LINE! YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE WHAT THE GUY BEHIND HER WAS DOING! WEAK!

  40. George

    It just goes to show you how many stupid women are out there allowing men to take photos of them having sex and video taping too.

  41. Auntie Kryst

    I’m at work, so I can’t watch this yet. By chance is there audio, and if so can we hear Dina Lohan in the background giving her daughter directions on giving head? WTG Momager.

  42. Vas Deferens

    So boring. Nobody cares.

  43. Trover

    Like we needed some tape to prove that she is a whore. YAWN…. already seen her bits, not impressed.

  44. whatever

    @ 35 – Not to be picky or anything, but Haikus have a 5, 7, 5 formula. Which would work if for some strange reason “clients” is one syllable in whatever accent you speak with. Just focusing on the important stuff, you know?

    As far as Blowhan is concerned . . . Why does anyone care? Most of the chicks on porn sites are way hotter than this dumb bitch.

  45. John

    haha nice link. some guy fucking a flashlight vagina next to that video. yeah i watched!!

  46. pointandlaugh

    #7 Will: ooooo I got TOLD.

    Whatev

  47. Lowlands

    I haven’t seen before such a weird crackpipe??

  48. RR

    Whatever… this was what Lindsay thought was a private moment between she and her boyfriend. It’s not her fault the loser taped it with his crappy cell phone.

    Half of you chicks do this all the time… the other half of you are divorced because you won’t.

    It’s sex people. Unless she were married to someone else at the time, there’s nothing to see here… move along…

  49. iburl

    You call that a video? Blah.

  50. That is Lindsay I can verify that because…………..Its me she is blowing off there click my link to see the rest of the pics! Im Joking btw!

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