Lindsay Lohan decided to beat Nicole Richie’s time of 82 minutes and spent 84 minutes behind bars yesterday. Lindsay was convicted in August for DUI and cocaine-possession stemming from an arrest in July. She checked herself into Cirque Lodge rehab facility and was ordered to serve one day in jail before January, according to Reuters:
Lohan was also sentenced to 10 days of community service, three years probation and 18 months of an alcohol-education program.
Jail sentences for minor crimes are often cut short by Los Angeles sheriffs, who manage the county jails, because of overcrowding.
According to my sources, which may or may not be this coffee mug full of gin, Lindsay Lohan managed to form a prison gang during her short stay. Yes, the Fiery V’s ruled that jail with an iron first for a whopping 10 minutes. Then mutiny broke out after their intrepid leader, simply referred to as The Boobed One, had intercourse with everyone’s bitch, five guards and the guy in Cell C that can talk to ducks. It all happened so quickly that Lindsay had plenty of time to figure out what went wrong before she was released. Perhaps she should’ve offered her gang members better benefits or, I dunno, not had all that sex. I guess we’ll never know for sure.
I’m on top again (of the ratings)!
My god. She is BUTT UGLY.
You are on top of my dick (again)
You are on top of my dick (again)
THAT’S HOT!!!!!
Gin? How about a Guinness? That’s what I’m having.
Eighty-four minutes…not surprising. Sad, but not surprising.
Who you callin’ bitch Fish? You want some of this?
What the fuck kind of justice do you people have in the US&A?!?! The war on drugs is a fucking joke. If any average citizen was found drinking and driving AND possession of cocaine, they would be in jail for far longer than 84 fucking minutes. You people need to do something soon… revolution anyone?
Cirque lodge or Cirque du solei?
I’d lob a Multiple Miggs on her.
You are an idiot for writing that stuff.
I hate that rich bitch. I hope her fire crotch burst into flames and burns her from head to toe.
JESUS CHRIST MAN!! Is it worth talking about 84 minutes? I REPEAT: 84 FUCKING MINUTES!! These are a few minutes longer than when you’ve a hard time inside the restroom with SHITTING or a damn FAGGOT with karl lagerfeld gloves takes you anal!!
This must be at least 84 monthes but after those FUN-years I doubt it if she learnt something………………………..
I wonder how much monkey she licked in that short stay…
She looks like a crack-crazed wombat.
She is going to do a lot of community service I bet! Lots of “service”! Stand in line and take a number!
go to jail and fellate all the criminals there!
Lindsay is a cute babe…She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebrity dating club MEETRICH.COM with her hot pictures and blogs there.
It’s funny because shes a whore.
That’ll learn her!
I’m high class, I’m a whore (actually both)
Basically I’m a pro
You’ve made me an offer that I can’t refuse
Cause either way I get screwed
Counterproposal I go home and jerk off
Is that a herpes sore on her upper lip?
OMG 84 minutes!!! Great news!!!
she might have gonorrhea, clamydia, spyhilis…all sort of STDs!!!!!!!!
Someone should have thrown the key away. Left Lohan in solitary for life. Sure, the feces would pile up and the smell would be horrible, but who cares?
Well, at least she is on the straight and narrow now. Good job Lindsay!!!
God, my head hurts..what the HELL?!? Wait, what??? I did NOT write that..
Hottest woman alive eh Maxim? What a fucking joke.
That is such fucking bullshit. I thought she was gonna do some real time for those stunts…I mean 2 DUI’s, fleeing the scene of an accident, chasing someone in a high speed pursuit while under the influence, walking into a police station with dope in her pocket. Wow…those are some expensive, and good lawyers. Britney should look into hiring her team.
P.S. I hate her fucking eyebrows. Is it that hard to get them shaped? She looks like a fucking 12 year old…why are the all thick at the ends? She really ought to shave then off and draw them back on with a black eyeliner pencil….that would really set off her trashy look she has going.
i’m so very surprised to hear this, almost as surprised as i am sarcastic.
WHy did she have to serve so much time?
Oh, you know Jimbo, had to really teach her a lesson and also send a message to the kids that “drugs are bad”..
FRIST, I sure I don’t get into trouble and have to serve that much time. I wouild go crazy being locked up that long.
How is your head? Maybe you need a drink? It is never to early to start drinking on Friday..
She is SO…FUCKING…UGLY!!!!
Jimbo may have a point.
A thermos of bloody mary for my commute is not sounding like a bad idea right now..
What’s happening to the Superficial? Those meetrich people are incredibly annoying and that maxim girl looks like she smells. Oh, and LL, nice try on the mugshot, but you look terrible, wear foundation much?
FRIST, They have those adult sippy cup so you don’t spil on your drive to work.
any other person would’ve had to STAYED in jail. WTF?
NOT FAIR!!! u guys seriously thing she’s ugly? she’s at least a cute slut:)
@38 WTF you mean people like Nicole Richie?
I will go with a cute slut. I don’t think she is ugly
Booooo-RINGGGGGG! Gimme some Corn-toothed-troll Kirsten Dunst dirt.
Adult sippy cup,eh? But it would be drunk of me to come to work with no spills on my shirt..
I’d love nothing more then to spend a whole week with this gorgeous woman, sharing laugh, ideas & intimate thoughts. Going wonderful places & seeing beautiful things, & of course taking a LOT of time just making sweet, sweet love- soft & tender, as well as rough rugged-(think BUTTLOVE), but all in the bounds of sexy playfulness !!! GOOD TIMES MAN, REALLY GOOD TIMES :O) … if ONLY.
She looks like Moe Syzlak!
The Fiery V’s. Haha that was great.
forget the face. she’s got a bangin’ bod.
@44, Awwww!! That was really sweet! I bet she would totally do it too.
rich or poor, the law is applied equally. hahahahahahah, what a fuckin’ joke. Just wait until she kills someone.
Damnit, not nearly long enough of a stay. I was hoping for a good ol’ shanking, either to her or by her. Also Fish, please get rid of those meetrich fucktards, thank you.