Lindsay Lohan serves 84 minutes in jail
Lindsay Lohan decided to beat Nicole Richie’s time of 82 minutes and spent 84 minutes behind bars yesterday. Lindsay was convicted in August for DUI and cocaine-possession stemming from an arrest in July. She checked herself into Cirque Lodge rehab facility and was ordered to serve one day in jail before January, according to Reuters:
Lohan was also sentenced to 10 days of community service, three years probation and 18 months of an alcohol-education program.
Jail sentences for minor crimes are often cut short by Los Angeles sheriffs, who manage the county jails, because of overcrowding.
According to my sources, which may or may not be this coffee mug full of gin, Lindsay Lohan managed to form a prison gang during her short stay. Yes, the Fiery V’s ruled that jail with an iron first for a whopping 10 minutes. Then mutiny broke out after their intrepid leader, simply referred to as The Boobed One, had intercourse with everyone’s bitch, five guards and the guy in Cell C that can talk to ducks. It all happened so quickly that Lindsay had plenty of time to figure out what went wrong before she was released. Perhaps she should’ve offered her gang members better benefits or, I dunno, not had all that sex. I guess we’ll never know for sure.