Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson getting married?

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson might be getting married now that California has lifted the ban on gay marriage. I honestly don’t believe this for a second because then I’d have to admit Lindsay Lohan is a real lesbian. I’ll punch my own mother first. Dammit, Christian Bale, get away from the keyboard. Please, don’t headbutt me! The New Zealand Herald reports:

A source said: “They’ve been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as ‘just good friends’. But they’ve decided it isn’t a fling, it’s for life – so they want to make their romance public. Dina is still working on the date of the party but it’s looking like towards the end of the year.”
It is believed the nuptials could take place in November around the same time Lindsay releases her new album Spirit In The Dark. The 22-year-old star has already bought a white Chanel mini-dress for the ceremony, while Samantha – the sister of super-producer Mark Ronson – is toying with the idea of wearing a black suit and top hat.

Talk about an insane publicity stunt just to promote Lindsay’s new album. Seriously, why fake an entire gay wedding when all you gotta do is call Eva Mendes? Her nipples could sell underwear to Britney Spears. Okay, nobody’s that good. But still.