As predicted by pretty much everyone, Lindsay Lohan is using her new single status to go on a non-stop penis parade, according to Page Six:
The faux lesbian has been “a complete and utter wreck” since Ronson broke it off with her two weeks ago, and has been spending time with “a different man every night,” said one concerned friend. Some of the guys include “90210″ star Kellan Lutz — who “has been out of town this week, but they are in constant contact,” the friend said — as well as British paparazzo Chris Jepson.
On April 15, Lohan and Jepson were inseparable at a Hollywood Hills house party. According to a spy, they even went into a bathroom together and didn’t come out for quite some time.
As a heterosexual male, I should be excited about this news. Except as a human capable of sight I want someone to throw an axe at my eye. Side boob, thou hast betrayed me.
sally | April 22, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Ew side boob. At least they’re real.
joe | April 22, 2009 at 2:08 pm
first
i love you | April 22, 2009 at 2:08 pm
She is soo hot.
mamamiasweetpeaches | April 22, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I was gonna say “Her face is looking old ” but then I notced the titty . Its lokking old too.
GET THEE A BRA!
mamamiasweetpeaches | April 22, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I was gonna say “Her face is looking old ” but then I notced the titty . Its looking old too.
GET THEE A BRA!
FunnyHunny | April 22, 2009 at 2:09 pm
My eyes! Good god, is she in a competition with Kiki Dunst for droopiest boobs? Gravity is not her friend.
weaselspeed | April 22, 2009 at 2:13 pm
OMG lock her in a padded room and feed herrrrr!!!
NipTuck | April 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm
ughhhhhhhhh
Gross.
JimO | April 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I would eat her used tampon
RichPort's Ghost | April 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm
SAGALICIOUS!
After seeing her back, I have the sudden urge to whip out my xylophone. Weird…
Wendy | April 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Wow, looks like Lindsay’s in such a bad state that even a few Superficial male commenters could get a little action…nah.
Next! | April 22, 2009 at 2:16 pm
This chick is spent.
NEXT!!!
Frank N Stein | April 22, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Dirty and malnourished I would still hit that.
Dr. Nappy | April 22, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Prolly not Wendy.
Dr. Nappy | April 22, 2009 at 2:19 pm
She is So done.
You can just look at her and tell she’s about to go full on Plato.
Bob Vila | April 22, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Yes, she is a crazy bitch and does, to a degree, deserve what her life has become, but I can’t help but feel bad for the girl.
As weird as it was, her relationship with Samantha Ronson seemed like it really stabilized things for Lindsay. With that gone, she’s just a shiftless mess of a person.
Lindsay: check into rehab somewhere, really concentrate on getting well and step the fuck out of the spotlight, for your own good.
FRIST!!! | April 22, 2009 at 2:24 pm
This is boring. I’m going to watch porn now.
Jizzle Lizzle | April 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Lilo has been rode hard and put away wet one too many times.
Jessica Biel | April 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Girl, if you aint feelin’ good about yourself, penis aint gonna fix it, that’s for sure.
tired | April 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Can you imagine the sag when she gets older?
insecthero | April 22, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Bleah. Never thought I’d be so revulsed at massive side-boob.
Tom Cruise | April 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm
#19: WRONG. Semen is a magical elixir – warm salty spurts that slide down your throat with an occasional ropey clot that gives you a mini-gag of delight. Scrumptious.
…uh, so I hear, from my, uh, wife.
Mr. Jones | April 22, 2009 at 2:34 pm
The dik parade has now begun,
listen to the d*ldo hum
Linsey out to have some fun,
a cobra on her left
Retard on her right, yeah
pat | April 22, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Say, lil tit-horsey – why the long face?
mikeock | April 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm
nice side boob, coketwat.
Mr. Jones | April 22, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Queer woman in a silk dress,
pearly beads around her neck
Kissed the hunter of the green vest,
who has wrestled before
With lions in the night
dc | April 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm
id still hit it
Rankor | April 22, 2009 at 2:42 pm
She is really aging quickly. By time she is 30 she will look 50.
Kelley | April 22, 2009 at 2:44 pm
No kidding, this thing is 22 years old ? I am 50 and actually look better !! No kidding.
fuck her anytime | April 22, 2009 at 2:46 pm
she´s so BEALTIFUL it should be illegal
any of you guys would be a disaster after only one year living like lilo.
looking like that with her lifestyle requires some REAL GOOD genes and some luck.
boob lift required though.
sorry lindsay
yeah i still love you
sure, I´ll suck ´em anyway
mmmmmmmmmmmm yeah
Rick | April 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm
“Kelley” yes, you are kidding, because you look like a piece of shoe leather. And you still don’t know how to spell your name.
liz4sale | April 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm
too much alcohol, drugs, late nights, smoking, and tanning(esp for an extremely fair skinned redhead) will age someone way beyond their years. exhibit A: Lindsay Lohan. my god she looks bad. her tits look like fried eggs nailed to the wall cuz she’s lost too much weight in a seemingly unhealthy way. all boobs have some hang to them but hers look like a woman in her late 40s. shes only 22, wtf?
sonotjealousofher | April 22, 2009 at 2:49 pm
she’s gone skinnier than ever since being with sam i bet is because anything that goes into her mouth tastes like sam’s stinky crumpet.
and she has Droopy’s ears as her boobs yuck.
grobpilot | April 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I prefer buttermilk flapjacks, please.
Photoshop Police | April 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm
all you losers who keep posting ‘boob lift required’ need to stop staring at fake gravity defying porn star implants and start looking at how REAL tits look.
there’s nothing wrong with her tits.
the rest of her, however… IS ALL EFFED UP.
she needs:
1) to eat a cheeseburger
2) to stop drinking all those energy drinks and coffee
3) lay off the coke
4) drink more water
5) get some friggin sleep
6) stop acting like a total sex-maniac (unless it’s with me, of course)
we now return you to regular d-bag postings.
Jimbo | April 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm
How can you be 22 years old and have boobs that saggy? She will be tripping over them by the time she is 40..
KLJTech | April 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm
35. Agreed…..too many people are used to seeing fake boobs, from that angle her boobs look the way they should since they are real. Just because she has side boob doesn’t mean that they’re pointing down. She has a lot of problems but her rack isn’t one of them.
Jimboooo! | April 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm
My eyes! My beautiful eyes!
Bucky Worchestershire | April 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm
She is so cute! Seriously, I could just hug her in half!
Hefe | April 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm
wow are those things sagging or what??
wtf is going on with this whore? she was smokin hot just 6 months back.
Bob | April 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I look at this girl pictures whe she was young and I feel so sorry for what happened to her, this is the true result of terrible parents. Worst than that, this is not the only girl in America with theese problems, there is a whole generation of young girls who go out every single night, have sex with anyone, drink too much, do drugs, and have no self steem.
saphkilla | April 22, 2009 at 3:27 pm
damn….eat a sammmich and maybe your tits would fill out a little
j_bryon | April 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Someone please feed her a CHEESEBURGER or 4! She needs to gain about 30lbs and she’d be HOT again! I miss the “young” Lindsey!!!
Charles Few | April 22, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I think today’s comments pretty much cover it.
JPRichardson | April 22, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Is she already dead?
e-rock | April 22, 2009 at 4:28 pm
THOSE TITS ARE NOT REAL, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are implants that are teardrop shaped to have some “natural looking” sag. Idiots. Trust me, I know. I have the same ones, expect mine look great. Her’s, not so much. SKANKY.
HankTheDwarf | April 22, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Her floppy tits and freckled, non-elastic saggy skin make me sad for her looks when she turns 30.
Dice | April 22, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Her next true love should be to get a bra for those hangers.
http://www.thefamousphere.com
abbz | April 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm
bullshit normal boobs look like that. I’m pretty much the same age as her and my boobs look nothing like that. Yeah maybe in 5-10 years that would look normal but not now.
Erica | April 22, 2009 at 4:33 pm
#7 – Forget locking her in a padded room…she needs to be locked into a padded bra.