Lindsay Lohan removes freckles
Star Magazine, the bastion of all that is true, is reporting that Lindsay Lohan may have gotten her freckles removed as part of her plan to change her appearance and be taken more seriously as an adult. Also part of her plan, losing her once fantastic breasts and looking like a crack-addicted whore.
The Mean Girl has slimmed down (at 5’7″, she’s an alarming 112 lbs.), glammed up (she’s bleached her trademark red locks ), and now, it looks like she’s doing away with her freckles.
I don’t think we even need to report on Lindsay anymore. We can just release periodic updates that say “Lindsay Lohan still insane” and move on with our lives. Which, if you’re anything like me, means having sex with hundreds of supermodels. At once.