Lindsay Lohan really wants to get laid

February 15th, 2008 // 155 Comments

Lindsay Lohan, or as I affectionately call her “Cinnamon Chesterton,” knocked back vodka and champagne at a West Hollywood club the other night. Heeding the drunken call of her fiery master, Lindsay went on a manhunt and set her eyes on Adrian Grenier. But things didn’t go as planned, according to NY Daily News:

LiLo at first gravitated to Grenier, pulling off her red leather jacket and pulling him onto the dance floor. But when the girl he came with reclaimed the “Entourage” star, Lohan made her way over to the table where Leo was partying with Kevin Connolly and Lukas Haas. “She was very flirty with Leo,” says our spy. “But he wasn’t saying much to her.” DiCaprio and Grenier and their posses exited around 2 a.m., leaving Lohan with some girlfriends.

Kevin Connolly, foolishly thinking he’d touch his first boob, tried to make a pass at the desperate Lindsay. She said she was here with a date then started making out with her purse. Kevin Connolly, cockblocked by a handbag again, sulked sadly back to his home in the Shire to watch porn with Bilbo Baggins. But no eye contact!

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Sara

    She really wants to get laid…no surprise.

  2. snarf

    The dress is hypnotizing me.

    At least she didn’t crap her pants…or did she?

  3. KC

    The only reason to have sex with LiLo would be to get her to take off that horrible dress.

  4. D. Richards (EDed.)

    I knew those guys from Entourage were faggots.

    Also, Lindsay Lohan is a moron for approaching Leonardo-same-guy-in-every-movie Dicaprio; that guy fucks Brazilian supermodels on a daily basis — Lohan’s like the froth on top of the water at a sewage treatment plant compared to those sluts.

    I’d fuck her though. The way I feel right now, I’d fuck ugly mothers. Even grandmothers. It’s been a long time.

  5. cookie vanderbilt

    The dress looks like insect wings. Does ten-steppin’ today mean drinks don’t count if yer famous? I’m not sure anymore.

  6. gits

    Lindsay said she finds it hard to swallow…rejection.

  7. 23apples

    Maybe it’s because of the saggy boobs. I dunno.

  8. Auntie Kryst

    “Heeding the drunken call of her fiery master” That’s funny. Still I’m not convinced she was looking to get laid. She may have been asking if there was any work for her. Bitch is broke.

  9. ipanema_is_schuyler

    hey Fish, Todd over there on idontlikeyouinthatway had this sad little story up long before you.

    and leo di-cabriolet is fugly. he’s half german, too. which makes him almost instantly fug by nature. he’s gross. i still remember him as the problematic kid in that sitcom with alan thicke.

    dick feels lonely. no dick should ever feel lonely.

  10. Cindy

    Julianne Moore’s looking pretty good here, for almost 50 years old.

  11. miggs

    She’s only about 3 years and a couple of relapses away from trying to fix the one good eye on a man and squawking “wanna date?”

  12. Doomhammer

    Jesus christ this bitch looks 40 years old. Thats just fucking ridiculous. I have a 20 year old catchers mit that looks better than her.

  13. ipanema_is_schuyler

    are these her recent pics? wow, she got all pudgy. did she eat her nipples? because i can’t see any where anatomically one should be in the first pic.

    hey Dick! yeah, let’s trade some pics! (if you’re under 40, that is….)

  14. thats dress is becoming on her.. and if i was that dress

  15. Ript1&0

    Goddamn it Lindsay, can’t you keep your raging libido buried underneath layers of self loathing and intoxicants like the rest of us do? Have some respect.

  16. Tsy

    I hear Edison Chen likes to fuck.

  17. kels

    her teeth look yellow, but the skank smokes. she’s getting nastier looking and sluttier looking. why do white women age so bad? yuckers.

  18. kels

    her teeth look yellow, but the skank smokes. she’s getting nastier looking and sluttier looking. why do white women age so bad? yuckers.

  19. Salesman Terry

    9, please define your concept of “long”, given that Fish posted this story the same day idontlikeyouinthatway did. BTW, the next time you describe your dick as long, we’ll all know the truth, little man.

  20. ipanema_is_schuyler

    damn Terry! (or Karl?) I am a girl!

    fact: Fish is slow. very very often.

  21. My God those tits get bigger each time she gets photographed. Usually 40yr old women don’t have boobs that big.

  22. Solaera

    Ugh. She’s poison. Who would want to be linked to her in the tabs? No one with a functioning brain, that is for sure. The only way that trashbasket Lindsay will get to fuck a successful actor now is on the down low. The way, way down low.

  23. GW2

    that is an absolutely hideous dress.

  24. BunnyButt

    Uh, sportsdvl, what do you mean “Usually 40yr old women don’t have boobs that big”? Do they shrink with age?

  25. Ang

    I don’t care if Fish is slower than other sites. You want fast, go to tmz. You want kinda fast plus lame comments, go to all the me-too celeb news/snark sites. You want 8″ of throbbing manhood, well, check out the vibrating dildo your mom is shoving up your dad’s butt.

  26. Cap'n Pickles

    Dear Lindsay,

    First of all honey, Leo looks like a frog. Sure, he was cute in the late nineties, but this is ’08, and daddy time hasn’t exactly been lovin’ him some Leo lately. You know what I’m sayin’? The other guy. Well? I’ve seen drug addicts at the Berlin Metro platforms that are better groomed than that fuck.

    Second. Leo pretty much can fuck anybody he wants, including Grenier. He’s fucked Giselle, and is currently hitting that hot anti-semetic jew model cunt that hates Isrealis for some reason. Who cares. She is fucking awesomely hot.

    Lindsay? I hate to write this, but the simple fact of the matter is that you are ginger. I don’t care how much silicone, plastic surgery, or cologen you get. Ginger is the lowest rung on the hot chick chain. There is nothing worse then ginger snatch, shaved or unshaved, it still looks like that reddish shit on the edge of a pit bulls mouth. You know what I’m sayin’? If not, check out your crotch shots. You’ll get the picture. Aim a little lower baby, like the greyhound station.

  27. Clem

    I’d hit it.

  28. HoHwPoV

    I think my mom had placemats back in the 70s that looked like those freaking things hanging off her dress …

  29. ipanema_is_schuyler

    wow Karl, er .. Mr. Ang Ry .. no need for hating. I love me some Fish. Funniest comments here. true statement. Idontlikeyou has the funnier writers. true statement. tmz, perez, low-traffic-bs-gossip-shit-sites: utter crap.

  30. D. Richards (Slob.)

    I’m under forty. Way.

  31. ipanema_is_schuyler

    are you? so, let’s stomp some puppies, scare some toddlers and get the party startin! I’ m in for a whisky on the rocks. single malted, scottish. you?

  32. I'm Yer Daddy

    #26. Yuare ma hero.

  33. inyourface

    #9, you’re a fucktard. First of all, I’m German and I’m damn good looking (blonde hair, blue eyes of course ;). Also, what’s up with Lindsay’s teeth? They’re yellow and they’re separated like a homeless person teeth.

  34. David Hasselhoff

    There are lots of hot people in Germany come on now. Heidi Klum is Austrian so close enough and she ain’t ugly.

  35. Ouch-witz

    “There are lots of hot people in Germany”

    mostly jewish

  36. my3sons

    She looks like queen of the fly-people.

  37. ipanema_is_schuyler

    #33: yeah, blonde hair and blue eyes maybe work on a sweet american mixture of many nations. your folks, my dear (if you actually live in Germany), have that ugly cro-magnon-brow thing going on (olli kahn? michael ballack? axel schulz? Henry Maske? etc). you can’t deny it, and maybe you weren’t even aware of it before, but you all got it. that makes for the typical rugged GERMAN look, I guess. unless you’re mixed russian/rumanian/italian or stuff like that. then you MIGHT be handsome.

    and German girls have no waist and have long faces with big noses (giselle bundchen looks like the successful twin of franka potente. if you don’t believe me, look up franka).

    #34: er .. Heidi KlumP is NOT Austrian, dimwit. she’s German, too.

  38. tc

    Teeth : Graveyard full of gravestones.

    Face : Chain-smoking trailer trash divorcee. Scary. Desperate.

    Tits : Cummable-onable.

  39. notmentioninganynames

    SOMEBODY is feeling very bloated and crampy…

  40. @37

    Giselle Bunchen is S. American.

  41. ipanema_is_schuyler

    #40: so what, genius? is giselle an indigena??I don’t think so. her last name BUNDCHEN strongly indicates some sort of EUROPEAN heritage. and by the sound of the name, a GERMAN heritage. dumbfuck.

  42. @40 who @'d 37

    The Jizzelle dude’s family on both sides are a buncha German transplants. Likely Nazis in hiding. Typical.

  43. Cap'n Pickles

    I used to live in Germany. Loads of hot girls. Some ugly. The best part? Hardly any fatties. Seriously. If you want to rid yourself of the fat chick insurgency, go to Germany. Shit. Anywhere in Europe would be better than the states.

    I don’t care if they’re jews, either (oy vay!). Just as long as the body’s tight.

  44. Discovery Channel

    There are lots of Germans who immigrate to Brazil. We believe that they’re drawn to all the exposed buttocks.

  45. Tapeworm

    Everyone’s favorite cumdumpster is back on the prowl.

  46. @41

    Dude. World War 2 is over. You sound worse than my grandmother. Chill.

  47. Rich

    I agree – if you want hot, in-shape, hairy, violently aggressive girls who never smile, Germany’s your place to go. Just make sure they don’t form large groups and start talking, because that’s never led to anything good.

  48. What’s with that dress? It’s like “Barbarella Goes to the Disney Princess Ball” or something.

  49. Fich dich

    My mother was German. I personally find them attractive. You jews and jew infected losers are all pathetic, sickly and jealous. Ha ha anyway.
    Mongrel mixtures of jews and all sorts of low born filth. Weaklings. Remember WW2? I believed that established who your Daddy was as did WW1. Faggot England on her knees where she belonged until the enormously mineral rich Americans entered the wars. And we only won because of our natural resources. Remember the scramble for all the German scientists?
    We will see in the end who is strong and who is not. This country of ours is failing miserably, through no fault of our own of course as we have been duped, manipulated, and have had all our vast wealth stolen by the kleptocracy.
    I like the statement that the only good looking Germans were jews. Ha ha ha ha hha hah ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    Yeah there are really good looking jews just like blacks when their genetics are nicely mixed with white folk. Then they are not really jews of course or black.

  50. Cap'n Pickles

    47? I never worry. I just bring a razor, duct tape, and lots of rope. Too bad renting a panel van in Germany is such a bitch.

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