Lindsay Lohan reads something familiar

April 26th, 2007 // 100 Comments

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superficial

  1. FRIST!!!

    Thank you 46!!!

    I’m FRIST!!!

  2. polypam

    Kraft Mac & Cheese is the new tan.

  3. polypam

    I stopped talking to this girl once when she refused to let me be the pink Hungry Hippo. Don’t fuck with the Hippos.

  4. lambman

    SHE LIKES US, SHE REALLY LIKES US!

    I’m glad she seems to be a good sport about it, cause we all know we talk a lot of Shiz about her on this site.

  5. Manistoned

    Hi Lindsay! Just die already, okay!

    I think if most people had skin like hers, they would douse themselves with gasoline instead of mystic tanners…and then buy 2 lighters in case the first one failed.

  6. jamie

    How do you people get on here so quick?
    I don’t think her legs look orange.

  7. jamie

    How do you people get on here so quick?
    I don’t think her legs look orange.

  8. umm did you guys notice SHES not reading it its being read to her… oh man what a hoe-bagherpesinfestedfrecklereddledwhore **phew**

  9. Doxes

    Lindsay, if you’re reading, the correct spelling is “adequate”.

  10. Gerald Tarrant

    Maybe the reason I think she looks so good is because I can forget the age difference between us. She does look closer to my age than her real age.

  11. Lowlands

    I’m surprised Lindsay is reading thesuperficial.Because that’s quite intellectuel reading-matter to Lindsay.

  12. ShoNuff

    Does no one else think it sad that this ginger needs to have the internet read to her? Can she not work a mouse? Or can she not read? Hello! I’m Captain Obvious!

  13. wedgeone

    #59 – HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
    I do hope she reads our posts, except for the ones that my troll puts up, like #32. I’m pretty sure that everyone just skips over those.

  14. Ha! That’s awesome. I wonder how many celebrities actually go online and look up shit about their self-important asses? Oh, God, I hope Rosie does.

  15. chaunceygardner

    Linds, if you’re reading this – let me put this in terms you can understand:

    u r a dizzum cizzunt w/old lady skin

  16. wedgeone

    Lindsay, if you’re reading this…I know you like to take it in the butt, but have you ever tried giving? My nickname is Glistening Chocowinkie! Just promise to go slowly at first and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Tossing in something intimate about Dennis Quaid would be nice.

  17. herbiefrog

    hey babe : )

    btw… tiptronic is an audi thing…
    just pete : ) [we know who you are : )]

    the sl is just a f**ing awsome auto : ))
    …and convertible
    -[what?]

    so… djsam : ) cute…

    “how high are the stakes?>”

    thanks mlc

  18. LL

    Hey, Lindsay:

    - Good going on NOT showing your naughty bits
    - Bag the self-tanner; it doesn’t look good
    - We all know you have nice legs, we get it, the short shorts and minis are getting old, try pants.
    - Those sunglasses look like what my grandma used to wear, ie, not cool

    Uh, that’s it for now. Oh – get your PR people to write your news releases and whatnot. Or take some remedial English classes. One of the two.

  19. julyper

    nah, I don’t believe that LL would laugh at herself. Probably she actually cried when she read it and the friends did laugh at her back.

  20. herbiefrog

    oh…
    #
    ps…

    LL: )

    wiv a boot on ‘is ‘ead

    …well two boots : )

  21. Lowlands

    On the first pic from below,is that car a Camry?

  22. mrs.t

    “something intimate about Dennis Quaid would be nice” – LMAO!

  23. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    Whorehan isn’t orange, she’s orange & white spotted. She’s like a frickin tabby cat. If it’s at all possible for someone to OD from fake tan ingredients, this bitch will be the first to drop dead.

    RIP in advance.

  24. #20… ROFLMAO!

    Maybe LiLo will learn how to spell from reading this site. Except someone was reading it to her, because she can’t read.

  25. blondi

    I could never not like her. No matter what she does. I don’t know why, I just like her so much more than say, Hilary Duff or Britney Spears. I guess because I’ve seen her show real acting potential, and well, she’s really fucking attractive.

  26. BarbadoSlim

    Take it outside blondi

    ——————————————–>

  27. krazihottkelli

    Her teeth in the big pic looks like Bunny rabbit teeth…buy some teeth, bitch./

  28. LeeLee

    I like the big black guy in the background of the pictures… he’s got his “I’ma gunna kill you” face on for the photographer. It’s a little awesome.

  29. That dude ain’t black..looks Mexican..I should know, there’s enough of them in Florida,,they think they have to come on to every good looking girl.

  30. Gargamel

    Wow, congrats, Superficial people!

  31. frenchie

    3 things she wants to appear to have…but doesn’t

    1)Looks- Obviously she tries really hard, but at best is just average. There is nothing sexy or interesting about this person. I don’t care how much designer garb and fake tan/hair she tries to piles on. Natural beauty can’t be bought. She’s like a spray painted piece of shit. Underneath it’s still a piece of shit.

    2)integrity- character? moral fiber? I’m not sure if any of this is/was ever on her radar. Having grace and class does not matter to her lest she poseses neither. I love how she (and other celebrities) try to act all humle while being interviewed. Most people are repulsed by her because of the gauche parade and her gaudy conduct. She and many other celebrities are an insult to every working person.

    3)talent- In the past her acting abilities …or the lack there of have been middling at best. She is a tool in Hollywood because of what she represents and really gets no respect for her talent. She can’t even really be proud of her chosen vocation.

    So there really isn’t much going on. Strip all her “stuff” away and we’re left with a dumpy unstimulating shell of a human. She adds absolutely nothing to the table and represents the vermin that is the death of moral values in the western world….yet she thinks she’s better than most hard working Americans.

  32. stuntmonkey

    The thing that freaks me out about this chick the most is that somewhere along the line, someone has hollowed out her head and put in some kind of camera locating device.

    Oh now I wanna get a whole group of people with cameras circle around her and see if we can get her head to spin off!

    Has anyone seen a picture of the *back* of her head? I’m guessing there must be an off switch there.

  33. ljdlafjidoas

    you know what this means? the superficial is reporting on lindsay lohan reading the superficial…what if she reads THIS? then the superficial will have to report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading the superficial, and if she reads THAT then the superficial will have to report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading the superficial, and on and on in an endless cycle for all time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eh, probably not

  34. NicotineEyePatch

    If I didn’t think she was functionally illiterate, I might believe this story.

    But it’s fun to think that she might steal my anal chocolate fountain idea for her next dinner party.

  35. Congratulations, lol! It’s good to know that some of these individuals can enjoy a good laugh at themselves :) (most especially when what’s being written is really quite fun!).

    female canuck

  36. Reality_Check

    Why weird? If I was a celebrity, I’d read about myself on the superficial too. I’d find it hysterical. And laugh myself all the way to the bank too. And, you what they say-no news is bad news. If people are still talking about her, whether to ridicule her or not, it’s some affirmation that she’s relevant.

  37. kacsing

    Don’t you people know by now that ALL people in CA are orange? Look at the chick handing her the drink? She looks like an Oompa Loompa from Willy Wonka!

  38. .
    .
    .
    THats the only reason she is even admitting a little bit that some of her behavior is out of line…it’s because she realizes that the entire population of the U.S. knows that she is a drugged up herpes riddled skank oozing disease and sweating vodka out her pores.
    .
    None of her hit movies were hits because of her…the Parent Trap had Dennis Quaid and Miranda Richardson, Freaky Friday had Jamie Leigh Curtis (Who got all the good reviews), Mean Girls had Rachel MacAdams who we all KNOW is a better actress, Tina Fey, etc… and they all carried the movie. Nothing she has done has been in any way responsible for those hits. When she tried to carry a movie herself (Herbie Fully Loaded and Just my Luck) they bombed. You hear that Lindsay? When you tried to carry movies yourself, they BOMBED!!!

    So you should probably finish off that bottle of whatever it is you’re drinking, call your agent and start booking Depends commercials now while you still have any juice left in Hollywood.

    Oh yeah, one more thing, you might want to rethink how dirty you always appear, you look like you smell like a combo of tomato soup and chili

  39. DrPhowstus

    Dear Lohan,

    In an effort to offer assistance in shoring up your ever downward spiraling career, please take the Jolie rout and make sure to show your tits in every movie no matter if it’s rated G or, preferably, rated XXX. A modicum of respect may just be gained. Also, please stop trying to influence horrid looking and wildly unintelligent 18 year olds into forcing their underage, overweight sisters to engage in illegal, pedophillic practices on MySpace. Many thanks in advance.

    Dr. Phowstus, MD

    @79 — “I should know,… they think they have to come on to every good looking girl”

    Then you really don’t know, do you? Fucking idiot.

  40. Don Mega

    Better watch out SF guy or you’ll be partying with Perez & Paris Hilton against your will.

  41. kandiskater

    LMAO!!! I’ve been reading this site for awhile. It’s the greatest site I’ve come across in awhile.

    I can’t go one day without checking it…

    As for Lindsay Lohan there is only one word I can use to describe her on a day to day basis… DUUUUUUUUUUUUH

    I hope she has a career to fall back on when she starts sagging like Britney Spears.

  42. sayyoulovesatan

    Stoner’s unite! (I can only read The Superficial after a chronic bowl or eight, so I assume the same is for Ms. Lohan.) lulz

  43. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Well then the only thing you can do is write a new article about Lindsay where the title reads, “The world hates Lindsay Lohan and wants her to die a slow painful death,” or “Lindsay Lohan is a talentless bag of douche.”

    I think it’s funny she can “laugh at herself.” Does she not understand that these things aren’t meant to be funny to her? We’re not doing a roast where it’s all in good fun, we’re actually making fun of her in a way that means we don’t like her, we don’t understand why she’s famous, and btw the site is called the SUPERFICIAL, meaning she’s a superficial cunt rag. God, she’s dumb.

  44. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    #92— HAHAHAHAHA whatcha think I’m doin right now?!?!?! :P

  45. Dr.Oz

    Actually, science has already proven that the natural enemy of a pirate is the ninja.

  46. wedge1

    #95 – WTF?
    #66 – Keep you homoerotic fantasies to yourself. No one is interested. That Dennis Quaid bit could actually have garnered a few chuckles had you used it in some other context.

  47. HughJorganthethird

    If I had Lohan’s money the last thing I would be doing is sitting around reading this shit. With all the hookers and blow there just wouldn’t be any time.

  48. imran karim

    the girl’s got amazing legs

    imran karim

  49. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    oh puke AND lmao@tomato soup & chili =))

  50. #89-piece of PLOWSHIT from Hell…I can only hope that one day a woman has sex with U and then cuts you small dick off and laughs in your f’n face…Dr. my ASS…

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