Lindsay Lohan did the strangest thing I’ve ever seen her do. She picked a pumpkin for Halloween like a normal person. I think I need to lie down. Ok! Magazine reports:
The 21-year-old, who has been enjoying an extended stay at an Cirque Lodge rehab clinic in Sundance, Utah, following her arrest this summer, ventured out to a pumpkin patch in nearby Orem on Monday. “She seems happier,” one local, who has seen La Lohan out and about in the area, tells OK!. “I think a lot of people around here are really pushing for her to get better.”
So the pumpkin isn’t filled with booze or cocaine or anything? No? Lindsay just wants it for decorative purposes as is customary for the fall season? I’m freaking out here, man. I have to be in some sort of alternate dimension. Nothing makes sense anymore. Next you’ll tell me the sky is green, cows say “quack” and Paris Hilton is a nuclear physicist. Someone get me out of here!
JP | October 3, 2007 at 2:36 pm
She picked a horrible one. That one doesn’t have good color or shape. It blows.
nora | October 3, 2007 at 2:37 pm
now she’s boring :(
JP | October 3, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Wow, what do you know? I was first. I’ve never been first. Except during sex. Then I’m always first.
JP | October 3, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I think that a non-hollywood Lohan, not looking idiotic every day coming in and out of clubs with RedBull drinks in her hands, would be much more attractive. I’d totally eat her pumpkin.
#3 | October 3, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I’ll bet your boyfriend loves that.
me | October 3, 2007 at 2:41 pm
i kind of think it looks cool that the pumpkin is a little bit green
Zee Brat | October 3, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Good for her.
joeypants | October 3, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I’d still wreck that…
supes | October 3, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Superfish missed the part about her failing another drug test and testing positive for cocaine. She’s still a drugged up fuck up, so everything is still normal. Exceot Paris Hliton, she hasn’t been slutting and stupiding around for a while. Who would have though Paris would be the one of the three drug addicted whores to go normal?
JP | October 3, 2007 at 2:44 pm
yes he does, we both do.
hegadeth | October 3, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Those stupidly large sunglasses would look perfect on the pumpkin.
Clem | October 3, 2007 at 2:47 pm
She looks better covered up when I can’t see her freckly bazookas.
adeliza | October 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm
She’s gonna sit on it, wrap her legs around it and hump the stem.
lil princess | October 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm
awww she kind of looks alrite! and i just watched Georgia Rule… i kinda have a feeling thats how she is in real life. she was the perfect actress for that part, cuz she didnt have to do any acting!
anyways…. this reminded me that i need to take my 4-yr old to pick out some PUMPKINS!!
TS | October 3, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Now that’s how to come in strong in the #1 spot people. Short and concise to the point. Well done. Cracked my ass up too.
And your follow up wasn’t too bad either. If you are gonna call first, so it in an anecdote as a follow up. JP’s putting on a clinic.
Jorge Kooney | October 3, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Damn, I’d like to hump her pumpkin, yo!
kirsten dunst | October 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm
god …this guys attempts at jokes are sometimes unbelievable.
kirsten dunst | October 3, 2007 at 3:03 pm
this jp character got a big head so shes commenting in bulk. thats what i always do when i feel cocky. thats what everyone does, right?
Joe Pulp | October 3, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I bet that pumpkin is filled with her weekly blow shipment.
http://testosterone-zone.com
kirsten dunst | October 3, 2007 at 3:06 pm
see i decided to demonstrate.
#9….just because she isnt in the news or you arent seeing pictures of it, doesnt mean paris hilton isnt still being bad. its the same kindof thing with jesus. you cant fuckin see him, but hes stil jesus. and he still exists.
xcvcvz | October 3, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Her pussy’s soo loose she needs SOMETHING to get off with.
LL | October 3, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I was hoping this story would tell us that Lohan is so hard up for work that she’s toiling alongside the other migrant workers to bring in the fall pumpkin crop (she’s certainly dressed for it). Thanks for dashing my hopes, Mr. Superficial. Thanks a lot. My story would have ended with her getting beaten up for wearing those ridiculous giant sunglasses because the other workers thought she was a Chupacabra.
JP | October 3, 2007 at 3:14 pm
First of all, the “JP” that posted the number 10 post was not me. It was somebody who thought they had a good joke, which wasn’t. The only posts I made were the first three under “JP”. And the only reason I made three was because I was surprised that I had gotten first (hence the second post), then I had one more thing to get off my chest after that. So, in reality, I only had two posts.
Cap'n Crunch | October 3, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Whatever….
Love the sweatshirt, however. BTW, she’ll be on the shit again as soon as she get’s back to LaLa land. She’ll drive into the city towards her house and her tummy will start to rumble with anticipation, she may stave it off for a few days, maybe try to work out or not drink, but soon, very soon after being in her environment, she will call the coke dude and she will be back in action and then back in traction.
hill | October 3, 2007 at 3:17 pm
holy shit #22, please start your own “onion” celebrity page. That story was F*ing hilarious and I would read your stuff EVERY day. I don’t know why but the Chupacabra freakin’ cracks me up.
supes | October 3, 2007 at 3:18 pm
#20 I’d believe that Superman was real before I’d believe there ever was a jesus. I’d also rather worship Superman than any “god”. I’d also rather fuck Superman than any of the holy trinity of drug addicted sluts. Remember, its only gay if you are on the recieving end.
I hate people | October 3, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Meh she probably just watched the old disney Cinderella movie it’s a little above her mental comprehension level of course but, as soon as it was over she was so excited saying (in her horrible raspy whore voice).
“come on rehab people lets go to the pumpkin patch and wait for my fairy godmother. She’s going to turn this giant pumpkin into a limo and turn you guys into horses to pull the limo, you know for like horsepower, and then she’ll give me these like glass like shot glasses that look like shoes so I can drink tons of booze like real princess and then we’ll go to some shitty LA club and I’ll have sex with randoms toads in the bathroom and then I’ll drop my shoe shot glass and then Fez will find it and we’ll get back together and stuff. Oh my god, my life is like such a fairytale. I bet Cinderella went to rehab too.”
uh … ya she didn’t really understand the movie
Doomhammer | October 3, 2007 at 3:24 pm
You idiots, thats not a pumpkin. Thats a poppy field she is walking out of and that is her county fair, blue ribbon winning prized giant poppy pod. Now she is about to make about ten pounds of opium with it. NIce going Linds.
PunkA | October 3, 2007 at 3:24 pm
I think someone told LiLo that if she picked the pumpkin, she could dig out the seeds, grind them up, smoke them, then hallucinate and see the Great Pumpkin with Charlie Brown and Linus. The have a foursome.
TS | October 3, 2007 at 3:27 pm
JP, I only saw the first two anyway. Great effort. Oh, I see it now. That aint so bad, yesterday some dude trolled me and linked my name up to a geriatric homo threesome pic. Why that dude even had that picture I couldn’t say, other than he is a sick bastard.
freakwad | October 3, 2007 at 3:29 pm
she kind of looks cute. i like her headband/scarf. she looks like she’s decked out in old navy, almost.
Lohand | October 3, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Wow. There are so many lewd people on here. Why doesn’t anyone say anything nice about Lindsey? Let me be the first… I think she is jizz worthy.
Cars | October 3, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Yeah Lindsay ! Woo hoo !
PunkA | October 3, 2007 at 3:32 pm
It snowed in Utah Saturday when LiLo is. When LiLo saw it, she cried. She thought her prayers has been answered and that blow was falling from the skies…….She tried snorting it and got a brain freeze. Just like the good ole’ days.
ipa | October 3, 2007 at 3:36 pm
they sure bleached the shit out of her hair. ?? and the headband? and the earrings ?? ??
??
lots of questionsmarks.
I hate celebrities | October 3, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Her pumpkin looks dirty.
I mean vagina.
Geoff | October 3, 2007 at 3:40 pm
In a ho-down between her with a pumpkin, Paris Hilton with a pineapple, and Mr. Slave with a Paris Hilton, I’ll bet on Mr. Slave still.
Hollywood-Celebrity-Gossip | October 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Have you seen her pumpkin “I hate Celebrities”????
JP | October 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Oh and one more thing I AM A HOMOSEXUAL! there i said it, im looking for a partner, please help me out, this is a serious matter.
JP | October 3, 2007 at 3:45 pm
And obviously, #39 was not me either. Not that there is anything wrong with homosexuals. Other than the fact that the idea that they penetrate each other’s hairy, stink-ridden, man-holes absolutely disgusts me.
El-Coyote | October 3, 2007 at 3:47 pm
By pumpkin we mean… “pumpkin her dealer stuffed full of coke and left in the patch for her to find…”
my comment | October 3, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Ya, she looks perfectly natural and happy doing this.
NOT!
KimberWolf | October 3, 2007 at 4:10 pm
That pumpkin must be the Halloween version of Charlie Brown’s christmas tree
ssdd | October 3, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Aww ..she picked a punkin with blotchy skin like her freckled mess of skin… oh oh and after she carves the face on it ~it will have the same old big ass forehead as her.
Kudos to you blo-bitch ..you did good!!!
BunnyButt | October 3, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Dear God! She found Paris Hilton’s head in a field! The horror! The horror!
kirsten dunst | October 3, 2007 at 4:55 pm
JP- you’re fine, i was just being a dumb bitch.
#26…..i don’t believe in him either. it was sarcastic.
supes | October 3, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I was serious. Do you know where Superman lives? I keep yelling for help, but he never shows up.
applecrisp | October 3, 2007 at 6:00 pm
That’s just a decoy pumpkin.
She was checking on her marijuana garden.
The Great Pumpkin | October 3, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Go ahead and steal SteveO’s coke but leave my children alone bitch!
Kutchi | October 3, 2007 at 7:05 pm
How are you coping with Lindsay Lohan’s Great Depression days?
http://www.pollsb.com/polls/poll/2628/how-are-you-coping-with-lindsay-lohan-s-great-depression-days