Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears complete unholy trinity

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Last night Lindsay Lohan claimed Paris Hilton hit her in the arm with a drink while they were at a friend’s house, saying:

“This is a video that Paris Hilton – and I’m saying this on tape – she hit me last night, for no reason apparently, at my friend’s house and I didn’t know she’d be there and she hit me; she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me and it hurts and it’s not okay. And I’m sorry for everyone that thinks I’m crazy. I’m not; I’m just trying to act.”

Paris Hilton’s publicist Elliot Mintz denied the claim, although acknowledged that Paris and Lindsay did exchange angry words and a drink was thrown at Paris and Britney Spears. Then this morning at 5am Mintz called some photographers down to the Beverly Hills Hotel where Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears were hanging out, with all of them eventually piling into Paris’ car and driving off.

I’m a little rusty on the Bible but I’m pretty sure this is at least one or two signs of the apocalypse. You put these three together in a car and whatever disease crawls out will most likely end the world. It’ll be a strain of STD so great and powerful it’ll have claws and a face and be the size of a full grown bear.