Last night Lindsay Lohan claimed Paris Hilton hit her in the arm with a drink while they were at a friend’s house, saying:
“This is a video that Paris Hilton – and I’m saying this on tape – she hit me last night, for no reason apparently, at my friend’s house and I didn’t know she’d be there and she hit me; she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me and it hurts and it’s not okay. And I’m sorry for everyone that thinks I’m crazy. I’m not; I’m just trying to act.”
Paris Hilton’s publicist Elliot Mintz denied the claim, although acknowledged that Paris and Lindsay did exchange angry words and a drink was thrown at Paris and Britney Spears. Then this morning at 5am Mintz called some photographers down to the Beverly Hills Hotel where Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears were hanging out, with all of them eventually piling into Paris’ car and driving off.
I’m a little rusty on the Bible but I’m pretty sure this is at least one or two signs of the apocalypse. You put these three together in a car and whatever disease crawls out will most likely end the world. It’ll be a strain of STD so great and powerful it’ll have claws and a face and be the size of a full grown bear.
UNWASHEDMASSES | November 27, 2006 at 11:07 am
Who’d have thought the Seventh Seal would be a packet of Valtrex?
ccdluna | November 27, 2006 at 11:08 am
LOL, indead, the trilogy is complete. They’ll create a whole new bread of STD’s!!!
blanket jefferson | November 27, 2006 at 11:08 am
second!
blanket jefferson | November 27, 2006 at 11:09 am
oops third or fourth?
enfilade | November 27, 2006 at 11:10 am
Slut brigade! To the skank wagon!
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
NipsyHustle | November 27, 2006 at 11:10 am
5th
Jedi Kevin | November 27, 2006 at 11:11 am
We just need one more horseman.
JungleRed | November 27, 2006 at 11:11 am
I was hoping the next picture would of that car being blown up. You know…after the jump.
lew insky | November 27, 2006 at 11:11 am
wow, they’re emotionally unstable. i wouldn’t have guessed. what they need is a guy in front of their faces acting like a lawn sprinkler: skeet…skeet…skeet…
but no touching.
ccdluna | November 27, 2006 at 11:13 am
Oops, forgot to explain the trilogy. But it’s like a series of book I was reading documenting the lives of 3 women and in the third, it all comes together with the last woman explaining what linked them altogether. The answer here is obvious, don’t ask me to spell it for you. And I’m saying trilogy because I hope this is almost the last post and that the next one will be of a certain car accident…
JungleRed | November 27, 2006 at 11:16 am
If we’re lucky they’ll get T-boned by 3 mexicans in a pick-up truck. If that happens, I’ll personally support amnesty for all the illegals.
RichPort | November 27, 2006 at 11:18 am
The Three Whoresmen.
Spindoc | November 27, 2006 at 11:19 am
That car smells like scabs, old menthol cigarette smoke,, unwashed underwear, dried semen, and yesterdays perfume soaked dress.
I hope that somebody windexed the seats after these three sat on them, most likely sans underwear.
no I'm not like that | November 27, 2006 at 11:22 am
Mmmmm… bread STDs…
PaisleyMoon | November 27, 2006 at 11:25 am
Will the person who really threw the drink on them stand up? I want to buy you an entire bottle of Gray Goose.
http://thedirtydisher.blogspot.com/
Italian Stallion | November 27, 2006 at 11:34 am
The Three STDooges……
CourtneyJade | November 27, 2006 at 11:35 am
I’ve read this horrifying & confusing story 5 or 6 times this morning and as always, your summary is by far the most hysterical.
Now all we need is Nicole Richie to join em and we’ll have the earth to ourselves.
Superevil | November 27, 2006 at 11:36 am
Where’s the drunken chauffeur, multiple paparazzi, and the underground tunnel when you really need it? I hate you god.
minniememe | November 27, 2006 at 11:40 am
#14: that’s not really mayo in that sandwich!
Zanna | November 27, 2006 at 11:41 am
@2 – what does “in dead” mean?
JungleRed | November 27, 2006 at 11:42 am
The Three MuSKEETeers?
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 11:44 am
What’s scariest of all is that is seems as if Paris is the designated driver. Note to self…..stay the fuck off the roads in LA.
madaboutmark | November 27, 2006 at 11:45 am
Like Santa would say….HO HO HO!!!
ccdluna | November 27, 2006 at 11:45 am
LOL, to #20!!! Ok, it’s me number 2, I’ve had a bad attack of typo!!! “Indead”, was meant to be indeed and bread was meant to be “breed”! But hey, this will happen to you after reading a press realease from Hohan. For a moment there, I couldn’t write properly!
PapaHotNuts | November 27, 2006 at 11:47 am
I hope they all marry O.J. and a year into the marriage, O.J. “does his thing”.
Spindoc | November 27, 2006 at 11:53 am
#25, Which Thing do you mean? Playing Golf or horribly butchering women?
ponk | November 27, 2006 at 11:54 am
You can buy this backseat on EBay if you’re certified to transport BioHazardous waste across state lines.
Bioplant | November 27, 2006 at 11:56 am
PAM ANDERSON… KID ROCK… GODDAMN YOU BOTH…
Fuck this cruel world. Is nothing sacred?
CelebSlam.com | November 27, 2006 at 11:59 am
Good luck selling THAT car
http://www.celebslam.com
HolisticWisdomcom | November 27, 2006 at 12:00 pm
Wow, well at least it will cut down on all the celebrity, superficial stories as they can be merged into this trio of madness.
LL | November 27, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I thought I felt a disturbance in The Force.
Number one best comment all day (maybe all week, and I know it’s only Monday, but I’d like to see someone beat this):
2. Posted by RichPort on November 27, 2006 11:18 AM
The Three Whoresmen.
Laughing my ass off, that’s freakin awesome. A pretty close second:
16. Posted by Italian Stallion on November 27, 2006 11:34 AM
The Three STDooges
HughJorganthethird | November 27, 2006 at 12:21 pm
I would imagine the inside of that car smells like a fishing boat after a big catch.
86 | November 27, 2006 at 12:27 pm
32 I gotta say #5 was pretty good too.
PunjabPete | November 27, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Good one #12….
Personally, I see this as a sign of good tidings. Now if they get hit by a train, we will have a trifecta… Come on Karma Train….
86 | November 27, 2006 at 12:27 pm
How is it that Lindsay did all of that and they’d actually let her in the car? I don’t get it.
LL | November 27, 2006 at 12:28 pm
That is a whole lot of crazy and stupid in one vehicle. We’re all very lucky that the mixture of the crazy and stupid didn’t open up a portal or something and destroy all of existence. I would hate to have been killed at this early date (relatively speaking) just because 3 worthless bitches took a car ride together.
captainwalker | November 27, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Hey! I thought all you little fags had made sure these three couldn’t be friends!
biatcho | November 27, 2006 at 12:33 pm
This picture makes me want to scratch my crotch until it bleeds and sounds like rustling haystacks.
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 12:33 pm
If they could get Nicole Richie in there and then careen over a guard rail we’d have ourselves nirvana.
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 12:34 pm
did anyone see Paris holding Sean Preston?? http://www.socialitelife.com/–scroll down a little…..yeah, it’s after the story of Pam and Kid Rock filing for divorce.
HUH? Pam and Kid Rock filed for divorce?
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 12:36 pm
just go to socialitelife.com there’s no scroll in the website.
Bugman4045 | November 27, 2006 at 12:39 pm
If Nicole was with them it would be the complete set:
Nicole=Famine (Obviously)
Paris=Pestilence (Obviously)
Britney=War (currently with K-Fed)
Lindsay=Death (just look at her dead eyes)
it makes so much sense, I just got a chill.
knowhere | November 27, 2006 at 12:40 pm
please god, the next time this happens, pull a princess diana on them. thanks. sincerely, the human race.
ImaCracka | November 27, 2006 at 1:07 pm
#12 … Well played old chap… well played…..
Spindoc | November 27, 2006 at 1:09 pm
42. Bugman4045
Fucking great post.
I would add in the Olsen Twins as Lust and Envy.
PrettyBaby | November 27, 2006 at 1:11 pm
#42 Clever as hell!!
I will repeat the same damn question until someone answers it Where are Britney’s Babies??
Oh jrz answered it….Wait a second, let me re-read that….What? In Paris Hilton’s arms???!!
*Faints*
PrettyBaby | November 27, 2006 at 1:13 pm
#22 Oh my Lord, I was gonna say that, wtf? Paris- The Designated Driver… shit…you know your low then!!!!!!!!!!
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 1:24 pm
42–Can we have Rosie O’Donnell as gluttony?
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Oh wait, we’re getting our biblical shit confused. There are seven deadly sins and then the seven signs of the apocalypse. nevermind.
PrettyBaby | November 27, 2006 at 1:36 pm
How crazy is it that Britney looks cute and innocent here?! The other 2 look like they’ve already had a few cocks/lines of coke/shots of vodka. Fuck, their gonna have their way with Stupid Brit. Good Luck Dumbass!