Lindsay Lohan not welcomed at Prince’s house

Prince threw the mother of all post-Oscar parties Sunday night and everyone was there. Even Best Actor Daniel Day Lewis who presumably drank all the milkshakes. The man loves his lactose. However, one person who wasn’t there was Lindsay Lohan. Apparently the situation reached Code Red when Prince’s people found out she might show up. FOX News reports:

Pop Tarts was left wondering where on earth party girl Lindsay Lohan was amid the excitement.
“A big deal was made by Prince’s people that she wasn’t to be invited or if she was already, she needed to be uninvited,” our source said. “Apparently, Lindsay thought they were friends, so I am assuming she would have been disappointed.”

I guess Prince didn’t want anyone getting laid at his party. For those of you who don’t get the joke, let me put it in scientific terms: You see, Y = Lindsay’s vagina and X = every dude’s penis at the party. As X approaches Y the chances of S = guaranteed sex on the dishwasher increases. If Y, again her vagina, is multiplied by C = champagne then you get the equation Y * C = F which is scorch marks on the carpet. This is directly proportional to Y getting kicked out the fucking door.

NOTE: Anyone that wishes to dispute the mathematic inaccuracies of this post can feel free to e-mail me and I’ll describe what sex is like. (Hint: Awesome, yet strangely furry.)

Photos: Splash News