Prince threw the mother of all post-Oscar parties Sunday night and everyone was there. Even Best Actor Daniel Day Lewis who presumably drank all the milkshakes. The man loves his lactose. However, one person who wasn’t there was Lindsay Lohan. Apparently the situation reached Code Red when Prince’s people found out she might show up. FOX News reports:
Pop Tarts was left wondering where on earth party girl Lindsay Lohan was amid the excitement.
“A big deal was made by Prince’s people that she wasn’t to be invited or if she was already, she needed to be uninvited,” our source said. “Apparently, Lindsay thought they were friends, so I am assuming she would have been disappointed.”
I guess Prince didn’t want anyone getting laid at his party. For those of you who don’t get the joke, let me put it in scientific terms: You see, Y = Lindsay’s vagina and X = every dude’s penis at the party. As X approaches Y the chances of S = guaranteed sex on the dishwasher increases. If Y, again her vagina, is multiplied by C = champagne then you get the equation Y * C = F which is scorch marks on the carpet. This is directly proportional to Y getting kicked out the fucking door.
NOTE: Anyone that wishes to dispute the mathematic inaccuracies of this post can feel free to e-mail me and I’ll describe what sex is like. (Hint: Awesome, yet strangely furry.)
b | February 26, 2008 at 4:01 pm
lol
mimi | February 26, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Fish SUKS!
b | February 26, 2008 at 4:02 pm
ya new zealand 1st
steven | February 26, 2008 at 4:03 pm
4thh. lindsay is fierce.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 26, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Prince is a fag anyhow. He’d rather fuck Matt Damon.
Lindsay can stop by my place for a party any day of the week.
Donkey Punch | February 26, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I guess he didn’t want a talentless drunken whore throwing up on his carpets?
Auntie Kryst | February 26, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Apparently the story goes on. Prince’s people and party staff went on red alert when Darling Lindsay was spotted in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.
havoc | February 26, 2008 at 4:13 pm
#5 LMFAO!!!
.
moobs | February 26, 2008 at 4:14 pm
He was just looking out for the Health of his guests.
JollyJumjuck | February 26, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Who the hell is “Pop Tarts”? Sounds like a band involving Britney, Paris, and Firecrotch.
Kate | February 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Here’s a stupid question, I know “I drink your milkshake” is from “There will be blood” but what the hell is it supposed to mean? How am I supposed to work this into my every day vernacular?
aeuwave | February 26, 2008 at 4:20 pm
you forgot “A” – the chance of anal with a girl like Lindsay.
no need to thank me.
mixedmartialartvideos.com | February 26, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Game…. Blouses…
deacon jones | February 26, 2008 at 4:30 pm
#5 Exactly!
He was pissed because he found out there would actually be a female there without a cock under her skirt
null | February 26, 2008 at 4:31 pm
good for prince! he’s a wacky dude, to be sure, but he made his party slightly more “classy” (if possible) by making lohan feel bad.
Racer X | February 26, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Bathe her, then bring her to me.
morga | February 26, 2008 at 4:31 pm
her knees look knasty there
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Hmmm…what about B+J??? What does that equal??
sportsdvl | February 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Oh yes, Prince is gay…….wonder what Appolonia, Sheila E, Kim Bassinger and God knows how many other hot chicks would say about that!
But seriously, who is this 40yr old guy in these photos?
Tapeworm | February 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Awesome picture. She looks like a 45 year old cow who sits in front of a slot machine all day with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.
D. Richards | February 26, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Prince uninvited Lindsay because he was afraid that the party would run out of shrimp cocktails. The caterer brought only half as many shrimp as Prince had ordered and everybody knows that Lindsay Lohan is a complete, and utter whore for shrimp.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 26, 2008 at 4:44 pm
@19 – Oh yes, surrounding yourself with hot pieces of ass means you aren’t gay. Like Tom Cruise and: Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Katie Holmes, Sofia Vergara and even Mimi Rogers (back in the day). I must be mistaken about Prince because of his laundry list of women.
Hemlock Queen | February 26, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Countdown to Rehab Reentry for the #…. Wait, where are we on that? I’ve lost count.
I love the 80s | February 26, 2008 at 4:54 pm
The good news is Wendy and Lisa got into the party. Actually they were part of the catering staff, but still. Morris Day was pouring drinks for tips.
| February 26, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Prince: [serving pancakes] Nice game, bitches.
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 4:58 pm
If surrounding yourself with hot women makes you gay, then I’m the straightest man alive. Just look at FRIST.
pucky | February 26, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Even though she’s a ho, I’d still like some time in bed, on the couch, in the bathtub, on the dining room table, on the patio… with Ms. Lohan. I find her and her 36 year old breasts quite sexy.
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 5:06 pm
@26 You so funny! It took you this long to come up with this witty comment you dumb fucking troll..
monkeyfightclub | February 26, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Perhaps Lindsay should have purified herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka
Daniel | February 26, 2008 at 5:11 pm
This girl is nasty, I mean… I can completely understand where Prince was coming from, I wouldn’t want pippy at my party either, people might think things
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 5:15 pm
#26 totally hurt my feelings. I’m NEVER coming on this site again.
Het Ro | February 26, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Ok, let me get this straight (so to speak). The “hero” is a skinny midget fag who bans a notorious nympho slut from his party. O-kaaaaay….
I don’t think this is a real story. It’s just a means of finding out who’s gay (all the “males” who post comments supporting banning Lindsay).
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I come on this site most times there are NSFW pictures.
The Laughing God | February 26, 2008 at 5:26 pm
She couldn’t get in cause she is engaged. Look her left hand. Prince is friends with the guy, and doesn’t want Loose Lindsay, making relations at his party. Prince was doing a guy a solid. Good looking out Prince.
Anonymous | February 26, 2008 at 5:38 pm
If this story is true, I just gained an enormous amount of respect for Prince.
La Frascatana | February 26, 2008 at 5:54 pm
If I were Lindsay Lohan I’d be content to sit home and know that I’m an outcast, because who would want to be “in” with these Prius-driving, hypocritical fuckwits who are, uniformly, a hundred times more slutty and revolting than Lindsay Lohan? Wow, at 21 she had a rehab boyfriend and had two one-night stands in Italy, what a freak! And Prince is what, a missionary to the lepers in Tanzania?
It’s like bizarro world how this girl has been turned into a villain. It just shows what suckers people are. You can tell just by looking at her face that she’s a normal girl in an abnormal situation.
The Real Reason | February 26, 2008 at 5:56 pm
The only reason Lindsay was not wanted because Prince saw how old and ugly she is when naked.
To be a slut is a choice. To have wrinkly skin, saggy boobs, flat ass, and no waist is not.
Kb | February 26, 2008 at 5:57 pm
She has wound up being a laughing-stock in Hollywood due to her pathetic and skanky behavior at parties and nightclubs, and consistent attention-seeking from the paps. She certainly isnt the talk-of-the-town because of her talent. Just like Paris Hilton. Not surprising that she is now being shunned.
Sounds like he wanted to have a classy affair, meaning this definitely was not the place for her to be.
Chauncey Gardner | February 26, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Prince is supposed to be a no-bullshit kind of guy. A talent manager friend of mine in Las Vegas has met Prince on several occasions, and he said Prince has always been (ironically) low key and down to earth.
He also told me a story about a party that both had attended where Penn Gillette had shown up and started dancing around and rambling incoherently while they watched. My friend looked at Prince, who looked back at him with a “can you believe this freak?” look on his face. Then they broke down laughing.
It was a bummer to hear that Penn is that big of a douche, but Prince came off pretty badass.
XavierH | February 26, 2008 at 6:05 pm
@37, actually the wrinkly skin is a choice too. If she wouldn’t spend so much damn time in the sun, she’d have normal looking skin. Actually, based on the NY Mag shots (which showed mostly freckle-free skin on her boobs), she would’ve looked fairly creamy and delicious. Still, she reminds me enough of the bridge-n-tunnel girls from high school that I must admit a certain (potentially lethal) fondness for the LoHo.
As for the ass and waist, I guess she can sue her parents for lousy DNA.
Culture Warrior | February 26, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Damn. Who would have ever thought that Ashlee Simpson would look miles better than Hohan? Hohan looks absolutely terrible. Gross hag skank.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | February 26, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Bro’s before Ho’s
Jimboooo! | February 26, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Uhh, am I the only one that thinks she looks hot?
Shurely shum mishtake?
Grunion | February 26, 2008 at 6:22 pm
No pancakes for her
moobs | February 26, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Guys who worry about who is gay amongst the other guys in the group, is clearly showing interest.
Ted from LA | February 26, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Prince is a genius. Who else could have questionable talent, dress like a complete freak for 20 years straight (no pun intended) and still be considered “famous?” They should stick him in that vault in Norway. Maybe someday 800 years from now somebody can explain why the Symbol Formally Known as Prince was so famous. That stunt alone should have doomed his fame, but NO, not in America. For the first time in my adult life I am not proud of my country.
Posh918 | February 26, 2008 at 7:18 pm
She always has gallons of self tanner on….trying to cover up her freckles but its obviously not working. Amazes me how all of these pale white girls wish they had beautiful caramel skin….but end up looking, well….like her.
boo | February 26, 2008 at 7:21 pm
TERRIBLE hair extensions…
hmm | February 26, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Hideous cheap tasteless hooker dress, Lohan should definitely stop smearing her pale self with brown dirt, she’s ugly, but looks better as a brunnette than as a blonde.
lori | February 26, 2008 at 7:36 pm
What’s up with that expression on her face? She looks like she’s saying “what are YOU looking at?” That spray tan is nasty stuff.