Lindsay Lohan not posing for Playboy

March 6th, 2008 // 57 Comments

Lindsay Lohan had reportedly been asked to pose nude for Playboy and recreate Marilyn Monroe’s swimming scene from Something’s Gotta Give. But Dina Lohan set the record straight with Us Magazine:

“That [offer] never happened,” she tells Usmagazine.com. “That would be a no.”

Yeah, because the first round of shots of Lindsay as Marilyn turned out so awesome. Let’s do that again but with the class and style of a Playboy photo shoot. Actually, I’m serious about that. Those guys are airbrush masters. Maybe, for once, I can see Lindsay Lohan naked and say “Yippee!” instead of being bored to tears by her breasts. I mean, that’s just sacrilege. Right, Pope? Pope? Hey, man, put down the Guitar Hero and commit yourself to this joke. Don’t you point that hat at me. Oh, that’s real cute. You bless people with that finger?

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. airr3ca

    omgz

  2. IWONKY

    Really Bad Stretchy Tits – Lazy Low-hands

  3. buttinskly

    I don’t get why they are pushing this whole Marilyn Monroe thing. She doesn’t even look REMOTELY like Marilyn Monroe. And the Superfish is right, those first photos were HIDEOUS. I can’t even believe they printed them.

  4. ewww

    She’s gross, ugly and fat. They would have to photoshop to heck out of her beer belly, her freckle-ghostly white pale body, her flat ass, etc. Who would want to see this thing naked?

  5. Jennifer2

    She was said to have a personal account on ‘BillionaireCupid.co m’ club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.

  6. IWONKY

    …plus her tits taste like armpit

  7. It is now official, Hef is losing his mind if he wants this unattractive skank in Playboy.

  8. My skin looks just like hers… when I put too much brown paint on the rollers.

  9. IWONKY

    Jennifer2…stands for a two-headed Jabba the hut shaped tranny who supports himself by spamboting…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  10. Gerald_Tarrant

    I must be the only one who really enjoyed the New York Mag pics. Lindsay is hot. She’s not the brightest bulb on the tree (drugs, Riley Giles, etc.) but magically delicious nonetheless.

  11. jrz

    Dina and Lindsay should pose for a firing squad.

  12. Josh

    You guys must all be dating supermodels, ’cause all I know is that her tits looked great and still look great. I would fuck her without a moment’s notice.

  13. Anonymous

    #11: I completely agree with you. The world would be a much better place with no Lohans in it.

  14. Josh

    So, I just actually took real time to read through some of your guy’s comments, and let me say, about 88% of you are up tight metros. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about objectifying women, I could care less if the bitches life is in shambles, but to say you wouldn’t fuck her or that she looks bad is like staring at a million dollars and saying, “Nah, a million dollars ain’t good enough for me, I’ll only take two”.

    You’re all a bunch of fat, losers behind a keyboard, just like me, so get your god damn heads out of the clouds if you think otherwise.

  15. @3 – I couldn’t agree more.

    If she was eligible for a celebrity of the past redux it might be Ann Margret – although she ain’t nearly as hot as Ann was in her day. For those unaware Ann was a hottie singer/actress of the last century – check link.

    The story here is what the bleep is up with Hef? The Olsen children and now LiLo? I already have LiLo’s snatch as my screen saver and I want to see those little trolls naked like I want to swap spit with Rosie, or bump dickheads with Doogie – in other words…. not so much.

  16. Ted from LA

    #12, Josh, you can get arrested for that.

    If Lindsay is going to do this, I think Britney should imitate Rita Hayworth too (while we’re mocking pretty dead people).

  17. mimi

    All you guys are losers…

    Lindsay is NOT nor will ever be as beautiful or vulnerable as Marilyn.

    GO AHEAD and POSE Lindsay… you have already FLUSHED your career.

  18. Hef is getting dementia

    Wait…they said there was NO offer!!

    But still, the Olsen twins? Geh!!

  19. Andy

    I agree, it’s crazy for her to try to imitate Marilyn Monroe. She’s much more similar to Wendy. That’s the look she should go for.

    (Wendy lives a few doors down from me. She’s a nice college girl, fair-skinned, freckles. Runs every day. Very nice body. No delusions that she’s a movie star celebrity. I try to say “hi” to her every so often, but I always choke up because I get intrusive flashbacks to the last time (usually the previous day) that I jerked off to her. I will marry her one day, once I figure out how to kill that guy.)

  20. Now that mimi has declared her opposition to a potential nude Lohan spread, I change my position (much like Lindsay does every 3 or 4 minutes with Random Guy X on any given night) and now support it.

    Did you see what I just wrote? “Lohan spread”? Comic gold… I’m like Fort Knox and shit.

  21. Fifi

    good because I don’t want to see her fire crotch.

  22. Phandral

    #12

    You said it all. Thanks for that! I’m serious.

  23. steve

    Hef needs to come to his senses, and realize that we want to see real, empowered women now. He needs to do a pictorial with all the girls from Katie Price’s lingerie photo shoot. The magazine issue will need a record number of fold-out pages, but that’s what it takes to present real empowered women. Personally, I can’t wait to see the one on the far right naked on a bearskin rug, although Hef will have to deal with the PETA protest over the number of bears killed to make a suitable rug. AND NO PHOTOSHOPPING! For real empowered women, stretch marks are signs of honor, much like gang signs – “check it out, I aint messin with that chick, she belongs to the Blubs.”

  24. Ted from LA

    #19,
    Hey Andy Andy,
    I loved you in Cheers.

  25. Duckstyle

    I’m gonna have to agree wish Josh here. She’s still way fuckin hotW IS she perfect, absolutly not. But if she walked up to you at a bar and gave a wink, you’d get all antsy in your pantsy and fuck her at a moments notice. That being said, trying to redo all the Monroe stuff is ridiculous, why can’t anyone say, i dunno, have an original idea for once.

  26. Shawn

    Lindsay is hot, you guys are just too f’ing shallow, complaining about her freckles? Are you kidding?

  27. kitty_kat

    Playboy would make the shots look much better, though.

  28. mamadough

    jesus christ…. did you new people to the site not get the fucking memo about what we do here?

    1) why don’t people spontaneously combust anymore? specifically the big ol whore in the picture up there….

    2) is all that is required for a girl to be “fuckable” is that she has a pulse and vagina? you’d saying you’d fuck her almost impresses me as much as you saying you’d fuck a paper bag soaked in warm water. she’s about as attractive as a 40-year old leather purse that reeks of gin, cigarettes, and an occasional cat.

  29. D. Richards (Sociopath.)

    Lohan should do a Hustler shoot. A little DP; some ass-to mouth; a gape — I’d check it out.

  30. Bigheadmike

    I likey her alot. I know its wrong but something about her is just too perfect for me…..

  31. IWONKY

    Who can fuck someone while they have their mouth like that? I can’t.

  32. She's soooo ugly

    She is FUCKING UGLY. I can’t believe some people here think she’s not ugly, I feel pity for you, you must live in a small town full of 220 lbs ugly stinky women and haven’t seen a good looking girl in your life. For the love of all that’s holy, how can anyone think Lohan is not ugly? She’s sooo fucking ugly as sin! Look at her ugly face man! Ewwww! Fart face! That’s right, her face looks like a fucking fart.

  33. stevie g

    i would do unspeakable things to that girl. she’s so hot it actually makes me cry.

  34. #32 – Hey, what kind of man are you even noticing her face? There are boobs on display. The boobs command all attention. Men are genetically programed to care only about the boobs. Face…hell, I have a face…what does a chick need one of those for?

  35. texascHIC21

    WTF??!! you mean to tell me that dina lohan would let linsday lohan pose nude for a magazine but doesn’t pose for playboy?? does that even make sense?? first of all… EVERYONE has seen that slut’s vagina, at least playboy will manage to make it look decent…and EVERYONE has seen are tits, at least playboy will make her seem like she had a lift… this bitch needs to stop acting like she’s all innocent and shit… bitch please…

  36. Auntie Kryst

    Dina Lohan is a fucking she-pimp. Calling her a madam is an insult to madams. If I read between the lines, there was no offer from Playboy. The offer was from Dina to Lindsay; “Make me money, do Playboy.” The answer of no was from Lindsay to Dina, not Lindsay to Hef.

  37. BunnyButt

    15, Dude, you beat me to the Ann-Margret comparison! I’ve noticed the physical similarity, too, the last couple of years, especially when LL is dressed in late ’60s-early ’70s retro mode.

    The similarity ends there, though. Yep, Ann-Margret was definitely hotter – very pretty, actually had talent, seems to have an IQ that’s at least triple LL’s, and was sexy in way that wasn’t slutty and didn’t conjure up fears of STDs. A-M was simply likeable – the sexy, stunning, down to earth girl next door – something LL stopped being long ago, if she ever was. And A-M was and is holding up better than LL ever will. At 21, LL looks like A-M did at 45. Eh, kids these days …

  38. Oh no, these are bad news. NOT!

  39. FFF

    But would she show pink?

  40. Grunion

    Oh yeah she’s aging well

  41. Harry Ballzack

    Okay – I Give
    After reading everything else in the news today, I have come full circle back to this story …… I still didn’t read it from lack of interest, but I had to stop by to say
    ” Meh ….. so what “

  42. Lidiya

    god. she looks older than many people i know in their 30′s.

  43. vertmont

    22 going on 42, she looks more like her mother sisters than her sisters sister.
    Such a boring chick, she makes Kim K look exciting and talented.

  44. Gerald_Tarrant

    I’m glad this isn’t happening. The way Playboy fucked up the shots of celebs in the past (Kristy Swanson, Darryl Hannah, Denise Richards) I think it would be a total waste. Lindsay just needs to come to my place and make a video with me. Just an innocent video, shhh, no, no one will ever see it. I promise, I’ll erase it after we finish.

  45. Joe C

    Based on this wonderful news, I may have to reevaluate my thoughts on the existence of God. There may be a God after all.

  46. Surprise, surprise, Lindsay Lohan’s personal ad with many photos are found at a celebrity site richromances.com where she is looking for love~~~~~

  47. herbiefrog

    it’s easy

    some are daughters

    some are lovers

    need we say more… ?

    …or again?

    STFU you

    and yet…

    …and yet

    very hard [but not impossible] to make that transfer

    not here

    shhhh…

  48. guy

    for what its worth; playboy uses full body makeup and photographic technique extensively and tries to avoid photoshop.

  49. There has to be a celeb with better boobs willing to get naked for Playboy. Please.

  50. jstunnah

    her body is like a big, freckle-y lump of dough. the marilyn pics she did for new york mag were tragic.

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