Lindsay Lohan makes awesome decisions

May 14th, 2010 // 73 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has decided to bail on the required alcohol education classes that keep her out of jail and instead head to Cannes to promote her new movie Inferno which is already struggling financially before production has even started. TMZ reports:

Simple math — If Lindsay doesn’t complete at least four more classes, she’s in violation of probation and the judge has made it clear … Lindsay will go to jail.
Sources say Lindsay — who is in NYC right now — has made it clear she’s flying to France for the film festival. We’re told she’s going to publicize her movie about Linda Lovelace.
We’re told Lindsay will fly from NYC to L.A. today, get her stuff and then head off to France tomorrow. A lot of flying … but no alcohol ed.
And there’s this … if Lindsay doesn’t complete the required number of classes and doesn’t show up in court next Wed., it’s standard operating procedure for the judge to issue a warrant for her arrest.

Setting aside the fact Lindsay Lohan will never see the inside of a jail cell because she saw Arnold Schwarzenegger penis at her 16th birthday party (Mystery solved.), what kind of publicity does she honestly hope to generate at Cannes? “Hey, it’s Lindsay Lohan shitting in the harbor after a night of drinking. I suddenly want to see her act!” I can she how she would think that might work, but at the same time I can also see how syphilis makes a person goddamn insane.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. mike nike

    Jail would do her well. Look what it did for Paris Vapid Hilton. (sarcasm)

  2. I hate to "Click Here"

    Geez her face loots like a bloated dead seal.

  3. I hate to "Click Here"

    or “looks” either or…

  4. josh

    She’s turning her face into a female Elvis version. Kids, drugs are bad.

  5. See Alice

    She looks like she is a Prendisone addict .

  6. Kangaroo

    Nice neck fat.

  7. Ashley

    Coke Bloat.

  8. what a dumb*ss

    So, she’s blowing off her required alcohol education classes to fly to cannes to promote a film that, not only is about a blowj*b specialist (like her), but is also in financial difficulty even before it began filming? Oh yeah, great decision making, whorehan. She’ll be in jail this time next week…

  9. Humpty Dumpty

    Someone please tell us what the fuck is wrong with her neck bloating? Is this alcohol related? She is aging right before our eyes. She is no longer attractive at this point. I wouldn’t fuck her with Parker’s shit coated dick.

  10. mer

    When did she get so fat? I thought coke made you skinny.

  11. havoc

    Alcohol bloat…..

    Face and gut.

    .

  12. Keno

    Guys, guys, please….she was stung by a bee.

    -Matlock

  13. Keno

    Guys, guys, please….she was stung by a bee.

    Love Always,
    Matlock

  14. Jon

    She’s getting uglier and uglier by the day. I never thought she has hot to begin with but now she is starting to look like a monster.

  15. FrankNfrtr

    She looks sick, prematurely aged & generally awful.
    Hope she can clean it up & not end up another tabloid drug death headline. This is far worse than just “OMG she’s gotten so FAT!” It’s horrifying to watch youth, beauty & talent circling down the drain.
    Drugs & alcohol in excess are very bad, mkay! Moderation is the key!

  16. When your so whacked out on drugs you just have this feeling of entitlement. Naturally she would think she’s above the law. Pity. I think if she had her shit together she would have never agreed to play this whacked out porn-bat from the 70′s. Can you say Kimberly from Different Strokes?

  17. herbiefrog

    where’s her mom ?

    [that wos it really : ) ]

    [oh… and the other thing…

  18. Deacon Jones

    @15 – OMG she’s gotten so FAT!

    Im off to get embarassingly wasted at happy hour. Later!

  19. Really?

    So by “promoting her Linda Lovelace movie” you actually mean “sucking dick up and down France”, right?

  20. jessiesgirl

    I never knew prednisolone was used recreationally.

  21. Matthew

    anyday now she will screwed it up in france and parties

  22. Randal

    Sending you all the strength I can send you today, Lindsay, so you realize just how dangerous this is for your career. You do not want to spend time in jail because it will certainly take awhile for you to get back on your feet and into the scene again.

    Skip a beat my dear and do what’s best for everyone, including your fans.

    Randal

  23. Enough already

    Lindsay, just stay home.

  24. I am so very cute baby nice posting thanks dear.

  25. Nice Britney Spears chin she’s going going there.

    In other news, meaning jerking off to downloaded photos of Spencer Pratt, I have just today blown four loads all over his bearded face. I have to tell you, Spencer is tops in my masturbatory library.

    These photos of him in military gear really set my nads on fire. Spencer would be perfect for a remake of the A-Team and I am stepping in an calling it MY IDEA. Of course my ideal A-Team remake would involve Spencer getting spooged on in most every scene.

    How about it fucked up Hollywood people? A-Team remake. Rolls off the tongue nicely, doesn’t it.

    Later,

    Mitch

  26. absinthe

    greasy jet black hair + red eyebrows + double chin + hideous outfit + drugs = yum

  27. Master Spook

    Sanra Bulok ……? Fom LiLo ?

  28. Urbanspaceman

    I love that secondary chin. A girl never knows when she’ll need a spare.

  29. Paul

    In all seriousness, why is her head so fat and her body still so skinny? What the hell is this bitch doing to herself now? taking hgh with bonds?

  30. Daniel

    Her head is swollen from Alcoholism.

  31. Socerer's Idiot

    “Sending you all the strength I can send you today, Lindsay”
    Randal are you a warlock?
    Awesome!

  32. KumaTenshi

    Just toss her sorry ass in jail already. This is getting ridiculous. Celebs have been tossed in the slammer faster for fucking tax evasion, yet drunky mc crack head STILL walks around…..being drunky mc crack head every damn day and night.

  33. primouomo

    Thank god she keeps that cocaine around. By the looks of those jowls she should have taken a few more lines.

  34. Frank N Earnest

    she’s quite porky and hardly worth the time anymore

  35. KB

    It is scary to see how downhill her looks are going. What is she going to be looking like when she is 30 — if she makes it even remotely that far?

  36. Hey, she had better things to do! Like take asshole pictures in a mall photo booth. That’s what those pictures are from right?She’s an idiot.

  37. Spencer is perfect for a new version of the A-Team and I'm getting an idea of my visit there. Of course, my ideal A-Team remake involves spooge Spencer in most every scene.

  38. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Hmm….

    *
    ,,,bitch’s got quite the double chin alcohol bloat goin’ on. That, or she’s just gettin’ uglier as she grows in adulthood.

    She was kinda cute when she was a kid. Now? Not even.

    *
    I hope she fucks it all up and can’t make up those last few classes and the judge declares, “throw the bitch behind bars!”

    *
    Celeb mugshots an’ perp walks’re so cool.

    *

  39. i love lindsay lohan i think her look is amazin!i was told today i look like her couple years back i was over the moon any one got any tips on looking like the party and red hair, frackes, beautiful clothes e.i rocker chic, classy,green eyes,pretty smile, and have style.

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  40. vi love lindsay lohan i think her look is amazin!i was told today i look like her couple years back i was over the moon any one got any tips on looking like the party and red hair, frackes, beautiful clothes e.i rocker chic, classy,green eyes,pretty smile, and have style.

  41. captain america

    she is trying to look like a fat american?
    HER LAST EFFORT IN ATTRACTING SOME FANS AT ALL?

  42. yeah

    whatevs. first time she looks actually healthy.

  43. ROUGH never sleeps

    Never mind Lindsay’s deformity of the week. I never knew Borat had such an influence on the black community…

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  47. johnny ra x

    @#42 and other fellow travelers:

    yeah no kidding i was thinking how good she’s looking lately with the slight weight gain. she’s a lot sexier with that bit of baby fat on her…

  48. capt32

    looks like she’s switched from coke to Oxy…she looks far too out of it to be coked up in the last couple pics and it would also explain the puffy face

  49. yowillie

    Fat face. Packin’ on the pounds.

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