UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan’s passport was stolen. Of course.

May 19th, 2010 // 42 Comments

At this point Lindsay Lohan assumes (correctly) that the legal system will never put her in jail which makes it no surprise that she just pissed in the court’s face by claiming her passport was stolen and now she can’t make it to LA tomorrow. TMZ reports:

Lindsay claims she actually went to the airport yesterday trying to get on a flight without a passport but was denied boarding. We’re told she had a reservation on the flight so she could make it back to L.A. for tomorrow’s mandatory court hearing.
Sources tell TMZ Lindsay has made an appointment with the U.S. Embassy tomorrow at 9 AM to get another passport so she can fly home.

Even more hilarious is Lindsay’s lawyer’s statement to TMZ:

“Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes and appear in court tomorrow.”

You know what I do when I’m distraught that I can’t learn about responsible drinking? Get ass-faced drunk and try to bang Amanda Seyfried’s boyfriend not Dominic Cooper after I’m conveniently stuck at the year’s biggest party event for the entire film community. It’s like eating a tube of cookie dough.

UPDATE: Lainey Gossip is at Cannes and has reports that Lindsay was booked to appear at parties for the whole week. Which has to be the result of volcanic ash. Has to be.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. sexyface who is 1st

    FIRSTTTTTTTT!!!!
    AND I HAVE A HUGE PENIS !!!!!!!
    8==============================>

  2. FIRST

    first

  3. Anonymous

    Easily one of the most useless people on the planet.

  4. Jess

    Haha. Nice ploy. I hope it works.

    Got to give her credit – she scored her Euro appearance money, and still kept out of trouble.

    We all gotta hustle.

  5. Mister Bored

    I’ve stopped waiting for her porno… and now waiting for her mugshot.

  6. tard

    Gotta hand it to her, this is funny. How self entitled is she really?. This broke me, I knew she would not make it back on time. Hey didn’t Polanski avoid the law for years in france?. This is such a scheme. I hate to say it but I am tuning in tomorrow to see what happens.

  7. VtFarmboy

    Since when did you need a passport to board a domestic flight. Any Legal photo ID will do. Drivers licence etc….. Does she really think the judge is that stupid?

  8. blech

    It is an international flight – not domestic – and wow, she really needs to go to jail. Really. She is delusional.

  9. bitingontinfoil

    I thought it was the volcanic ash? Hmmmm…guess the only “ash” preventing her from leaving was the ash from her crack pipe. Poor, delusional thing.

  10. Jen

    DAMNIT! I REALLY WANTED HER TO GO TO JAIL!

  11. Not a big shocker here. Now go and checkout my website :0)

  12. Tek

    If nothing else, this whole plot is funny.

  13. Name (required):

    Last Motherbeeches!!!

  14. Gus

    Volcanic ash my ass!

  15. OJ

    Even if she does go to jail, she will be either under house-arrest or some light prison that allows weekend furlows. The real prison is reserved for common folks.

  16. Photoshop Police

    BENCH WARRANT! NOW DAMMIT!

  17. Sport

    Please make an example of her. What a useless hag.

  18. FrankNfrtr

    Wonder if this girl will still be alive in a year.
    Kinda rooting for her, but also am so sick of her shenanigans. Hope to see pics of a sobbing on-her-way-to-jail L.L. (just like Paris H…..the memory still makes me smile) in the very near future.

  19. Mike

    I bet her dog at her homework too.

  20. Beefaroni

    What is the likelihood that her plane will go down over the Atlantic Ocean on the way back to the U.S. and we will never again have to be subjected to this poor excuse of a human’s ridiculous and pathetic life?

  21. Area Man

    Well, thank god she didn’t lose her passport BEFORE her trip France!

    No doubt she’ll get the usual ‘slap on the wrist’ star treatment. Cuz, she’s special.

  22. Katie

    The volcanic ash is a BS excuse, because the icelandic volcano eruption causing flight delays was already an issue before she decided to leave the country, it’s not like it happened after she arrived. Bitch shouldn’t have left if she really actually gave a shit about completing the classes and and making her court date. I hope they throw her in jail with that other talentless vapid waste of space from that Pretty Wild show.

  23. amoi

    “Booked to appear at parties” …. as in, PAID to appear? People still want her at social events?

  24. Mr. Obvious

    Please don’t put her in jail or rehab. We need to her to died an honorable hollywood-whore death: ODing on heroin.

  25. “Lindsay Lohan’s passport was stolen.”

    Her drug dealer stole it.

    @ 18 – “Hope to see pics of a sobbing on-her-way-to-jail L.L. (just like Paris H…..)”
    It’ll be the worst half hour of her life.

  26. Ella

    If I had a MANDATORY court date, like hell I’d leave the country. What was she doing at Cannes anyway? It’s not like she’s had a film out in years anyway….

  27. Dr. John "Always at Your Cervix!"

    She forgot to mention that the dog ate her homework.

  28. Dr. John "Always at Your Cervix!"

    @#20…

    What is the likelihood that one of her seat mates on the plane is one of your relatives or friends? Or you?

    That’s pretty fucked up!

  29. Jay

    If she doesn’t go to jail, there is no justice in America. She is thumbing her nose at the judge and the law. The judge ought to put her in general population just to deflate her princess ego. A lot of people are watching to see how this turns out. Will the AH celebrity get the preferential treatment or is she just regular folk?

  30. Well, unfortunately has not lost his passport before his trip to France! Surely receive the usual slap on the wrist star treatment. Cuz she special.

  31. Jill

    I SWEAR, at first sight, I thought that was BRITNEY with dark hair again.
    OMFG, she has put on the poundage!!!

  32. captain america

    you apparently can make a living with CHEATING & LYING, folks!!

  33. thank you foe sharing !

  34. you apparently can make a living with CHEATING & LYING, folks!!

  35. Christian Louboutin blue sandals
    $ 228.00
    Brand: Christian Louboutin blue sandals
    Manufacturer: Christian Louboutin Asian factories
    Quality: 1 Year
    Toes: peep toe
    Heel height: 5 ”
    Heel shape: thin
    Size :41-35 (regular shoes cize)
    Color: Blue
    Upper: crepe satin (asymmetric bow detail on vamp)
    Pad: Leather
    Packing: All brand new Christian Louboutin shoes and original packing box, bag, shoes, paper towels
    Dear customer choice:
    1. Free delivery for all orders, 5 – 10 days around the world.
    2.100%, satisfaction and quality assurance.
    3. We accept credit cards (payment for a visa / master).
    4. If you have any questions, please contact our customer service.
    5. Online real-time chat or email to us.

  36. Christian Louboutin Rose Red Satin Sandals
    $220.00
    Brand: Christian Louboutin Pumps
    Manufacturer: Christian louboutin Asia factory
    Quality: first grade Opening depth: shallow mouth (7cm below)
    Toe:peep toe
    Heels high:10cm
    Heels shape: thin
    Size: 41-35 (regular shoes cize)
    Color: rose red
    Vamp : satin
    Shoe Lining: beige sheepskin
    Packaging: original shoe box. Accessories complete
    Select Dear Customer:
    1. Free Shipping on all orders,5-10 days to worldwide.
    2.100%Satisfaction and Quality Guarantee.
    3. We accept payment by credit card (Visa/ Master).
    4. If you have any problems, please contact our customer service.
    5. Live chat on line or email to us.

  37. She lives life like a volcano, spewing upsetting and not giving a damn for the effect all her outpouring has on all around her.

  38. Good post!As i was passing by here and i read your post.
    It’s quite interesting.I will look around for more such post.Thanks for sharing.

  39. good share thanks

  40. m65

    thanks for this

Leave A Comment