Lindsay Lohan & Leonardo DiCaprio?

Demonstrating her exodus from Lesbian Land, Lindsay Lohan recently seduced Leonardo DiCaprio at MyHouse in LA, according to The Sun:

A source said: “As soon as Lindsay saw Leo she was like a bee to honey. She was going for the big catch and when she spotted him in a dark corner of the club she headed straight for him.
“She quickly monopolised his conversation and made sure she had him all to herself.
“Lindsay is a sharp tac. She wasn’t wasting her time chatting up small fish. She seemed interested in the gents with deeper pockets, probably because her career is on a downward trajectory.
“The pair were cosied up together deep in conversation. She definitely tickled his fancy.”
As the night went on and the drinks flowed, things between her and Leo hotted up and she took to the dancefloor to show off her talents.
My eyewitness added: “It was a bit shocking when she got up and started dancing in front of him but he seemed to be enjoying it.”

There’s only one thing I believe about this story, and that’s that Lindsay was at a bar. The rest? Give me a fucking break. The only way Lindsay could hook up with Leonardo DiCaprio is if she somehow found a genie to grant her three wishes. And if that was the case, let’s be realistic, downtown LA would be blanketed in 12-18 inches of blow right now.

Then again, she could’ve worked quickly….