Lindsay Lohan is crafty

June 2nd, 2010 // 45 Comments

If Lindsay Lohan had a penis, she’d be waving it at the legal system right now. Or mouth-polishing it for coke. (Never rule out survival instinct.) TMZ reports:

It might seem like bad timing — that Lindsay Lohan was ordered last week to submit to random drug testing, just days before she had her wisdom teeth pulled … but we’ve learned Lindsay got a pass from probation.
Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, tells TMZ, “We advised the Probation Department of the dental appointment, which was made well in advance of last week’s court hearing.” Chapman says she assured the probation officer she would provide “documentation about any medications that Lindsay would be taking, which would be administered or prescribed as part of the procedure.”

So basically Lindsay just scored a free pass to pop Vicodin like goddamn M&Ms. Wow. I never thought of her as a criminal genius, and frankly I’m not going to because the Joker’s schemes never ended in accidental overdose. — Oh, wait.

Photos: INFdaily
superficial

  1. Que

    Que que que.

  2. I hope she gets AIDS.

  3. Patrick

    Her life must be miserable.

  4. Steve

    Can we just fucking get someone to shoot this bitch..

    It’s obvious she’s just selling it to rub it in, no one wears those stupid fucking icepacks strapped to their head anymore.

  5. havoc

    That’s pretty pathetic. Having your wisdom teeth pulled just so you can get pain pills.

    Seriously, put this bitch out of her misery.

    .

  6. DanieB

    Too soon, dude, too soon.

  7. 2face

    leave Heath out of it, that was weak.

  8. I wonder if Lindsay would give it all up for a quiet, relaxed life instead of this mess.

  9. Ihatelindsay

    I agree with #7

  10. ParisH

    Trash (people) need drama in their lives. It make them feel revelant, i guess

  11. Fucking hell! I thought I was hardcore. This bitch got her wisdom teeth taken out so she could pop some Vicodin? Damn!

  12. mike

    So now we know she is addicted to pain killers as well. chalked that to the list of baggages she carries.

  13. Puke

    Come on now, you guys don’t think she actually got anything pulled do you? Hollywood Dr’s love their celebrity clients so much, that they are willing to write them scripts for whatever they want. And I am sure it wouldn’t take too much effort for medical records to make it look like she had this procedure done. It’s not like the court will make her submit to a court appointed Dentist.

    Let her pop all the Vicodins she wants, Tylenol will kill her liver faster than you can say fire crotch.

  14. jenna

    I dont think she´s had her teeth pulled.
    I think she´s done something to her face…to her cheeks…They look much fuller to me (in other pics, heré you can´t really tell).
    She looks younger again. Did she lift her face already?
    Or had fat injections? cheek implants?

    That´s gotta be the reason why her face looks like it does in these pics. But blaming it on a pulled tooth is good. *lol*
    Ive had several teeth pulled and Ive never gotten a bandage for that!!

  15. oh i know

    i can’t get over the fact that any of her teeth actually had to be PULLED to come out! how long till she breaks a bone? “accidentally” cuts herself? she IS crafty…in a pathetic way….

  16. joho777

    Jesus, you guys are lame.

    Has anyone had a tooth pulled? Much less a wisdom tooth?

    This is a very large price to pay for a few painkillers (which won’t help much, considering Lindsay’s very high tolerance levels).

    Slow news day?.

  17. Phil, come on…

  18. Beeotch

    Seriously?!>!? What the f!!!!

    Of course she did that, this way when she tests postive for drugs, she can blame it on her (face lift) I mean wisdom teeth……

    This chick needs to serve her time!

  19. Tek

    Slow news day indeed. Oh well, you can always count on Lindsay to get people talking. The pics are funny.

  20. bar room hero

    wtf is she wearing???

    slag.

  21. @16

    She’s not buying pain pills at the price of wisdom teeth extraction, you moron. She’s buying the excuse to pop them without breaking probation. Before you call someone lame, think for a minute. Use your brain for something other than texting.

  22. Really?

    Knowing her court case the doctor should’ve denied her painkillers and told her to take some over the counter stuff. Of course this is hollywood and odds are she got something stronger than standard vicodin and multiple refills.

  23. This is something a serious junkie would do, get an operation just get their hands on some drugs, or avoid a drug test. They ought to test her anyway to see what else turns up besides vicodin.

    On a masturbatory note, I blew a load across Barack’s face today. Actually it wasn’t his real face because he is busy playing golf and feigning concern over the oil spill, but a cardboard cutout of him that I had tucked inside a closet for a special occasion.

    It started out when I came across some footage of Janet Napolitano who as some of you already know, I believe is one of the sexiest men in politics. I started rubbing one out to that grey haired cumdumpster and then I remembered the Barack cutout. I stopped in mid stroke and ran to the closet, grabbed him and laid him out in front of the TV. Luckily Janet was still babbling on about something so I got my cock hard again and in only a dozen or so strokes I let loose over Barack’s face, chest neck and head. If it was him in the flesh he would have gotten a load up his right nostril.

    Today is going to be a good day.

    Later,

    Mitch

  24. oooaaahhh

    She looks like The Flying Nun. Boy I’m old.

  25. Marcella

    Hey Carp. Pill heads have been doing this since the 60′s. Ask your mother to tell you about it.

  26. Puke

    Mitch……

    Sounds kinky, did you by chance record yourself doing that? I would love to see it :)

    What kind of things did you say to it??

    LOL

  27. Minnie

    Wow, have none of you ever had your wisdom teeth taken out?
    Not only is it a procedure that for most people is necessary, it also hurts..a lot.

  28. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    This is probably as good a time as any to start the contest. Who dies first: Lindsey or Courtney Love? Extra points if Love dies by spontaneous combustion, as she’s half plastic, half drugs. Wait, so is Lindsay. Hmmm.

    Sit back and watch, everyone. It’s just a matter of time in either case.

  29. DocJ

    HaHa, the joker died of an overdose. Funny Shit man. Now we just need to get her hooked up with Micheal Jacksons Doctor.

  30. Jimmy

    What’s with the Sally Field “Flying Nun” clothing? Will Lindz go from playing the role of a prostitute (should be a natural) to playing the role of someone playing the role of a nun (should be impossible).

  31. YOURHIGHNESS

    UH, am I the only one who realizes that when you have dental work done that it can make you fail a drug test for COCAINE??? Hello, Vicodin, lortab & percocet are like fucking baby asprin to this bitch!! Being injected with Benzocaine or anything in the CAINE family will fudge a drug test for COKE. If I had more coke than red blood cells in my body I’d run out & get some dental work too before I took a drug test. I’m sure the pain killers are just an added bonus.

  32. herbiefrog

    ok habg on…

    we’ll go get some…

    sans para cete mol

  33. blerble the gyrating squirrell

    You know you have a drug habit when you voluntarily pull teeth out of your head to keep it going.

    Well played, Linds, well played. /golf clap

  34. TracyJ

    It wouldn’t possibly be easier to just reschedule. I’m not famous and pretty damn sure my oral surgeon would have had no issues rescheduling it for my drug tests to keep me out of jail.

  35. BlahBlah

    Wonder what she got? Normally a dentist will prescribe vicodin 5/or 7.5 mg 30 count/no refills for a wisdom tooth extraction…if they prescribe it at all. Depending on your tolerance, 30 pills isn’t really a lot, esp. if they’re 5′s or 7.5′s. No way it lasts her more than maybe a week max; excuse-wise it gives her a valid excuse for failing a test for maybe 30-45 days or so, if that.

    I don’t know what kind of test she has to take, maybe it’s just a pass/fail kind of thing. But a more sophisticated test would not only show IF drugs were used but would also demonstrate how frequently they were used as well. A person who used pain meds for a legitimate purpose, as directed, would be expected to show a certain level of the drug in the system. A far higher amount could be a red flag.

    Likewise, local anesthetics used in oral surgery (novocaine and etc.) could cause a positive test result; however they tend to be metabolized very quickly and would only provide a valid alibi for a short period of time.

    Vicodin + alcohol is a very bad combination for the liver; there is a large amount of acetaminophen in each pill and that stuff combined with alcohol is very tough on the system. But I’m sure her liver has already taken its own life so it wouldn’t be of much concern to her.

  36. notme

    It’s not fun to rip on her any more…it’s sad. She is such a mess. Too bad no one is really making her face consequences so she can get better.

  37. bmose

    Coke addicts teeth come out real easy.

  38. dude

    Now that’s flippin diabolically clever :D proud of u linds lol

  39. It probably will not be easy to just reschedule. I’m not famous and damn sure not my oral surgeon for my drug test to keep me out of jail had to re-issues.

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  41. captain america

    which possibility of attracting attention she didn’t try?
    ………………………KILLING KIDS?

    (a sick & sad nobody this is)

  42. @35
    The metabolism of the hydrocodone is much more complex and harder on the liver than acetaminophen (tylenol). I still stick to my guns in that this is nothing but an excuse to get as close to blow as possible and not trip probation.

  43. very good a car..

  44. Is she LiLo? Her face is not clearly visible due to reflection on glass!

  45. mb

    Lame. I had my wisdom teeth pulled while on probation for DUI and I didn’t get a free pass. I had to stick with Ibuprofin. This bitch…

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