Lindsay Lohan is worst recovering alcoholic ever

May 23rd, 2007 // 82 Comments

Lindsay Lohan, who recently left rehab and is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, has gotten Svedka vodka to sponsor her 21st birthday party in Las Vegas. The deal could allegedly earn Lindsay up to seven figures. Lohan’s lawyer confirmed the vodka deal, saying:

“This should be one of the best parties ever.”

Everything about this just sounds like a good idea. Maybe after the party she can rub herself down with steak and play with some tigers. I mean, as long as we’re sticking with good ideas here.



  1. WowJustWow

    I hope she’s got her will in order……………….

  2. BarbadoSlim

    No need to waste good liquor or money on this whore or any of her freeloading crew, starting with her whore mother. Send down a watering truck filed with Cobra Malt Liquor and hose them down ’til they’re ‘tored up. Then have the sanitation department pick them up for proper disposal

  3. Chauncey Gardner

    D’oh! “potential”

  4. Cleggy

    I want to catch “The Gay” and have Edna cure me of it just so I can say “Edna cured me of ‘The Gay’” and make those annoying quotes motions with my fingers everytime I say “The Gay.”

    I like saying “The Gay,” is all.

    And TCLTC.

  5. Cleggy

    And twatwaffle.

  6. H.A.L.9000

    maybe the Cali Cartel will sponsor the afterparty

  7. Sheva

    21 and done. That’s my Lowhore. What’s amazing is all these places that have served her tons of alcohol along with providing her space to do her drugs yet none of them lose their license.

  8. Sydney Bristol

    For the price, Svedka is a damn good vodka. Too bad I can never drink it again.

  9. Sydney Bristol

    For the price, Svedka is a damn good vodka. Too bad I can never drink it again.

  10. Edna's fiance

    There was a twatwaffle named Edna,
    Who wanted to give me some head-na,
    So I took out my dick,
    And she started to lick,
    Now tomorrow we’re going to be wed-na!

  11. jenster

    i see her making it to 27. thats about it. and unfortuently, years from now when she does have a massive heart attack from all that blow and keels over face first on the bathroom floor, the media is going to be like
    “ooooh, r.i.p, blah blah blah, she was so talented” ugh. kinda like the whole anna nicole thing.

  12. schack

    what the fuck?

  13. Stacy

    What do you think — dead by 25? Or 24, maybe?

  14. lawpunkut

    She is a nasty troll. Major Fugly. I do not see why she even gets attention, other than everyone wants to see the trainwreck waiting to happen. Because it will.

    By the way, haven’t her last like 5 movies tanked hardcore? Maybe she should do porn and then she might get an average review finally.

  15. lambman

    Svedka is my fav vodka!

    What an awesome story, Lindsay is the coolest! Who else has a lawyer that says “This should be one of the best parties ever”?

  16. wedgeone

    Where is FRIST to comment about the quality of Svedka? She’s into martinis – maybe she’s had a vodka martini made with Svedka.

    #39 – For the record, Edna, you’ve never cleaned up this site. You’ve only been verbally abused. Then you posted a link to your MySpace page, and it was so full of typos and pictures of your fat gross ass that the wolves had a field day on you!

    Start by curing your husband of “The Gay” before we report you for spousal abuse.

    If that really was you ….

  17. cortez

    I thought Hunter S. Thompson was dead….

  18. I'm with Spindoc

    Great idea Spindoc (#19)! Wish someone would put together a website where boycotters could sign up. I wouldn’t care if Svedka just sponsored the party, but to PAY her? That’s where I draw the line. Jeezis..that’s unreal. Maybe that site could also have a pool where you chip in a buck for a chance to pick what day she finally (and you know it’s gonna happen) ODs. Pick the day, win the prize!

  19. DahliaRose

    I hope she brings her gun.

  20. captain obvious

    Man does she look like a doof…”inspector Lohan”. What, is she trying to emulate “inspector Spears” now???

  21. techclerk

    Note To Self:
    Never drink Svedka ever again.

    Second Note To Self:
    RichPort is truly a God among men.

  22. techclerk


    Funniest post I’ve read in almost a whole week.

  23. techclerk


    Funniest post I’ve read in almost a whole week.

  24. techclerk

    Don’t make me repeat myself

  25. Edna Bambrick

    I have 9 names and counting, who else wants on the list? Do not try me, I will REPORT! you.


    Git along little doggie, git along
    Git along little doggie, git along

    I’m heading for the last roundup
    Gonna saddle old Paint for the last time and ride
    So long, old pal, it’s time your tears were dried
    I’m heading for the last roundup.

    Git along little doggie, git along, git along
    Git along little doggie, git along,
    Git along little doggie, git along, git along
    Git along little doggie, git along,

  27. Holy shit she looks like Pete Doherty! Not good, Lindsay, not good.

  28. mandy

    why is she so fat?

  29. frenchie

    She’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

  30. Eve

    OMG she looks like SHIT!!!!!! I can’t believe how used up she looks… and she was voted Maxim’s HOTTEST?????? What the fuck… it goes to show that all these lists are totally manipulated… White Oprah must’ve sucked a lot of cocks!!!!!!

  31. Bugman4045

    is this “Edna Bambrick” a real person?
    the things i’ve found online seem too good too be true. Even the name sounds made-up.

  32. post 60 was funny..

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