Lindsay Lohan is the fake lesbian that lays the golden eggs

Samantha Ronson used to bring in $1500 a gig for her DJing skills, but now that she frequents the Fiery V, she’s been pulling in $25 grand a pop netting her almost $3 million this year. NY Daily News reports:

“While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an insider close to the couple told us. “Sam’s now asking for a lot more money to spin, and she’s getting it easily.”

Of course, part of the appeal is watching the two fight with each other which seems to be a guarantee lately considering Sam is looking to cut a record and wants Lindsay to keep her career-killing hands off of it:

At a Miami club last week, Lohan sulked in the corner alone, remarking “Sam is hired to host tonight, not me,” when asked if she was okay.
“They fight every day,” said a friend. “It’s just jealousy and childish bickering over the fact that neither feels the other pays enough attention. While they really do love each other, this relationship will be over by March.”

So, basically, Sam has consistent access to Lindsay’s giant breasts and gets paid $3 million for that luxury? Jesus, I want to be a lesbian. And don’t tell me I can’t because I have a penis when we just spent the past five minutes talking about Sam “Danglely Dong” Ronson. On that note, I want my lesbo handle to be “SharkBalls Cunningham.” That’s Ellen’s name? Forgive me, Godfather!

Photos: Splash News