Lindsay Lohan is the fake lesbian that lays the golden eggs

December 22nd, 2008 // 32 Comments

Samantha Ronson used to bring in $1500 a gig for her DJing skills, but now that she frequents the Fiery V, she’s been pulling in $25 grand a pop netting her almost $3 million this year. NY Daily News reports:

“While Sam never contractually agrees that Lindsay will show up to her shows, promoters, owners and publicists all know that if you book Sam, there’s a high likelihood Lindsay will also show,” an insider close to the couple told us. “Sam’s now asking for a lot more money to spin, and she’s getting it easily.”

Of course, part of the appeal is watching the two fight with each other which seems to be a guarantee lately considering Sam is looking to cut a record and wants Lindsay to keep her career-killing hands off of it:

At a Miami club last week, Lohan sulked in the corner alone, remarking “Sam is hired to host tonight, not me,” when asked if she was okay.
“They fight every day,” said a friend. “It’s just jealousy and childish bickering over the fact that neither feels the other pays enough attention. While they really do love each other, this relationship will be over by March.”

So, basically, Sam has consistent access to Lindsay’s giant breasts and gets paid $3 million for that luxury? Jesus, I want to be a lesbian. And don’t tell me I can’t because I have a penis when we just spent the past five minutes talking about Sam “Danglely Dong” Ronson. On that note, I want my lesbo handle to be “SharkBalls Cunningham.” That’s Ellen’s name? Forgive me, Godfather!

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. sfnsbs

    You’re all a bunch of turds.

  2. svncbs

    LiLo shits on everybody who posts after me.

  3. NecessaryROUGHness

    Wheres are her luscious tits? dont care if its freezing…

    btw rough is out of office…

  4. F-Obama

    Where are the half nude shots? Wardrobe malfunction? WTF? Is this People or US Weekly? We don’t come here Daily to see G rated shots! Get a picture of her getting a ticket or falling down or just looking retarded for Christ sake!

  5. Obama the Messiah

    Shoot, I’d pay 3 mil to get at Lindsay’s tits. I’ll just Congress to fork over more tax payer money for something that is totaly my fault.

  6. SharkBalls Cunningham

    I fucked her, El

  7. joe m

    Lindsay,you’re beautiful.
    Please stay far away from ugly lesbians.

  8. Penile Surgeon

    I’ll chop off your tiny penis and prescribe an estrogen treatment so you can be an ugly butch like Samantha. I hear you don’t have any talent so you’ll do just fine.

  9. Savalas

    If by “golden egg” you mean “really strong sulphurous flatulence”, then you’d be right!

    Or so I’ve heard…

  10. This Poster

    Anyone posting after This Poster munches on Samantha Ronson’s shaggy carpet

  11. Jesus

    Your prayers have been answered…

    You are now a lesbian. And, because you’ve been such a good little girl, I give you Rosie O’Donnell as your life partner.

  12. mimi

    This Poster just made my day!! I’m goin’ munchin’!!!!!

  13. ANYONE who would pay this dyke (or anyone else) either $1500 or $25,000 to DJ is an idiot and deserves to be kicked in the balls.

  14. Jrz

    She’ll be done being a lesbian when Dina says she’s done being a lesbian, and that’s final.

  15. Randal

    This is no surprise. Whatever Lindsay Lohan touches, turns to gold.

    Randal

  16. nastyjay

    all i want is to do is suck on those milk jugs, Amen #3

  17. It’s dumb bitches like her that give real DJ’s a bad persona.

    Someone boo her ass right off the stage, please!

  18. rhythmic defecator

    This is interesting because when I contacted Samantha’s booking agent, I was told that there were two tiers of booking fees. Tier 1 was just Samantha, wearing a pair of Dickies overalls and spinning remixes of old Winger and Journey tribute bands. Tier 2 was with Sammy spinning the same music with her left hand, and fisting Lindsey with her right.

    I was confused for a while as to which was the better deal, so I passed and decided to rent a Pam Anderson movie insteads

  19. Matthew

    I still blame dina for ruining Hohan’s life

  20. Matt

    This chick is a DJ and Ive never heard of her? Whats all the fuss about? Im sure she’ll never EVER come CLOSE to the likes of actual DJ greats like Sasha, John Digweed, Sandra Collins, Sander K, etc. etc. list goes on and on.

  21. Truth doctor

    I love Lindsay, even if she’s crazy and a crackhead. I’d totally let her shit on my face for a look at those tits.

  22. Randal's bisexual male lover

    I would titfuck the shit out of her and then spray my load on her freckles. Then I would kick her in the pussy since there would be no use for her anymore.

  23. Nacho_Flatulence

    SaMULE Ronson is a disgusting, whiney sack of shit. Lindsay however, I would love to have sex with her, but fear my penis would turn black and fall off within minutes.

  24. Gee, reduced to defending Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan. What has become of me? Guess it’s better than trying to argue that Rosie is entertaining or that Ellen isn’t masculine.

    But Lindsay – fake lesbian? Give us a break. Write something original or at least mildly amusing.

    Lindsay and Samantha have been together 24 / 7 for over a year. Lindsay may not be a life-long lesbian but she’s in a serious lesbian relationship – deal with it.

    Yes, when a penis is biologically attached to a human torso, the human can’t be accurately described as a “lesbian.” That being said, at Two Lesbos Goin At It, we are more than willing to remove your penis. In fact, your penis is probably shrinking dramatically just from reading this.

    PS – how old is your mother and what does she look like?

  25. Alex

    Her hair is so pretty. :)

  26. FINALLY, the truth is out, folks?

  27. thisishannnah

    wow. nice. you took the let’s-make-fun-of-the-lesbian thing way too far, ok? a certain measure of humor is expected whenever you have the strength to stand up as being “different” from what society dictates. however, to make such stinging comments–especially about people you don’t know–so soon after so many people had their hearts broken in california, arizona, and florida. i love your blog and i think it’s really, really funny, but you crossed the line with your comments at the end of this post.

  28. friendlyfires

    You know, if Lohan hooked up with Chrysler or GM, they wouldn’t have half the problems they’re having now.
    “Hey look, Lindsey Lohan is driving a PT Cruiser, I’m gonna; get me one of ‘em!” “Sheet, get me one ‘em monster SUVs that GM makes, I just saw La Lohan back over a pregnant trafiic cop on YouTube in one of those things!!!”

  29. gia

    holy crap, enough with the horrid hair extensions already!

  30. gia

    holy crap, enough with the horrid hair extensions already!

  31. herbiefrog

    we look after our own…

    just dont look right down the barrel…

    did you even have a point ?

    ]time goes by… so slowley…[

    oops…

  32. I love Lindsay, even if he is crazy and is a crackhead. I totally want to take a look at those tits on my face for him.

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