Lindsay Lohan wants an Academy Award

May 1st, 2007 // 125 Comments

In her interview with Nylon magazine, Lindsay Lohan claims she’s more famous than Madonna and gets more attention than her from the paparazzi. She says:

“I said the other day, ‘I feel like they hound me more than they hound Madonna and she’s someone I’ve always aspired to be like.’”

She also adds that the paparazzi are what’s preventing her from getting an Academy Award because they keep distracting her from her work. She says:

“The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don’t want that distraction from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being ‘the party girl.’ I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I’m filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.”

Lindsay Lohan could be the last living actress on Earth and she still wouldn’t get an Academy Award. She’d be the only nominee, and when it came time to announce the winner they’d end up giving it to a potted plant in the corner.



  1. It’s about time for her to go into porn.

  2. She’ll never get an Oscar, but she could get a “Stiffy”.

  3. Superevil

    The funniest thing is that she’s actually serious

  4. Her best chance would be a home made sex tape. She could play twins. I bet it would be a hit.

  5. The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup.

  6. BigJim

    Bitch stole my Maiden shirt.

  7. jrzmommy♠

    yep…it’s the paparazzi keeping her from winning it.

    I betcha $50 she thinks Iron Maiden is someone who works at a drycleaners.

  8. 15PiecesOfFlare

    Girl is flippin’ delusional. I’m not saying she’d never get an Oscar. Crazier things have happened in lala land.

    But to imply that the ‘press’ is keeping her from serious work? Hahahhhahhaahhhahaaaaaaa.

  9. biatcho

    “I bust my [bleep] when I’m filming”

    She must have had a vision of her future…”Lindsay’s Anal Orgy, Vol. 10: Those Better Be Freckles”

  10. fearsarewishes

    “I want to be known for more than, like, going out.”

    Ms. Lohan is a moron. The superfluous use of the word “like” is annoying enough when expressed by teenagers, but if I hear it from an adult that one goes right into the idiot drawer.

  11. rockdust

    What?! She almost got fired from a couple of jobs because she can’t even manage to show up to the set on time! I’m sorry, but this bitch is never gonna be taken seriously as an actress if she can barely survive a Herbie movie!

  12. Jimbo ?

    WA WA WA. What a pathetic whore. Lets blame everyone else for your problems. Exactly how does the paparazzi keep her from her work. The last time I tried to get close to where they were filming, a couple a big ass, no neck apes stopped me before I could get close and I was only tring get get my lugage off the carasel. I wish the asshole would stop filming at the airport!!!

  13. YouRang

    If there comes a time when she’s the best actor, acting awards will discontinue.

  14. dumbphuck

    i thought she said she loved the attention from the paparazzi. anyhoo, fuck u lindsay lohan.

  15. Jimbo ?

    @1 I agree, but I don’t think it would be any thing I would want to buy. I can’t even see her is a love scene. I think Mr. Happy would do a full retreat

  16. Phazon

    Lindsay Lohan getting an Oscar… If that day ever comes it will bring around the apocalypse.

  17. p0nk

    she’s done a great job of acting like she’s important.

  18. fergernauster

    To me, she will only eternally be remembered as ‘slut’.

  19. JungleRed

    You peabrain, if you’re trying to win an Oscar, I suggest you aspire to be more like Meryl Streep, not Madonna. Or maybe you think Shanghai Suprise was a brilliant bit of filmmaking and Madonna was robbed of an Oscar. On second though, just keep aspiring to be “adequite” because excellence will forever elude you.

  20. Mark

    She’s a good actress, no matter how stupid she acts in real life.

  21. fergernauster

    It is bad enough she is freckled from head-to-toe and cannot act her way out of a busted condom, yet she is also STOOPID. Incredibly so.

    This is what pains most.

  22. fergernauster

    … and yet her stupidity confounds me, because her lineage is so admirable.

  23. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Welcome to the evening news.

    Tonight’s top story is Lindsay’s Lohan’s not surprising Best Actress award at last night’s academy awards. She won for her emotional portrayel in Herbie The Love Bug Part 2.

    In other news around the world, Barry Bonds did not take steroids, Britney Spears was named UN Ambasador of Peace to the Middle East, Kim Jong Il lightens up, Princess Diana’s death inquest finally comes to an end, toothpaste sales are up in the UK, and The Loch Ness Monster was caught.

    We interupt this broadcast to inform you that the world is coming to an end in 1 minute….

  24. chaunceygardner

    Linds speaks the truth; it really IS all about the work.

    Spotty fucking twat.

  25. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Welcome to the Evening News Part 2:

    Tonight’s top story that has everyone buzzing: Lindsay Lohan’s Best Actress win at the Academies tonight.

    In a possibly related story, all previous Academy Award Winners throw their Oscar statues in the trash.

    Now let’s go live to Morton’s for the Oscar after party…

  26. fergernauster

    Mark – I agree. She is a fine actress… with finely-sculpted, dewy features contained within a delicate skull well-appointed by lithe neck and shoulders any dancer should envy.

  27. jrzmommy♠

    The day the Academy invents Best Falling Down Drunk…she’ll win. Hands down. and in her case, pants down, too.

  28. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Welcome to the Evening News part 3:

    Tonight’s top story is the amazing victory for the coveted Best Actress award by Lindsay Lohan.

    Adding to the shock was her bizarre acceptance speech, in which she announced that she was officially joining the 80s metal band Iron Maiden on their Monsters of Rock 2008 tour.

    Maiden is scheduled to appear with Ratt, Cinderella, Judas Priest, and Dokken.

    It is unclear at this time what role Lindsay will play within the band.

  29. fergernauster

    Linds… if you’re reading this over lunch, take some pointers from the likes of, say… Harrison Ford, and keep your poopy ass outta the spotlight.

    It isn’t rocket science.

  30. Sparkles13

    I still cannot get over how much she looks like her fucking mother!

  31. PunjabPete

    Ahhh…. Now I know why…. Thank you Lohan… I can rest at ease knowing that he press is to blame….

    Herbie the Love Bug RULED!!!!

  32. NCDave

    The only Oscar she’ll get is the random Weiner she goes home with after a night of whoring about town.

    ‘Cause Oscar Meyer makes it’s way in Lindsays Va g i n a”

  33. FRIST!!!

    She is delusional!!!
    Sofa king delusional.
    Oh my GOD!!!!!

  34. Lowlands

    Is Lindsay Lohan really the new Sarah Bernhardt?
    She’s already a nymphomaniac that’s what she’s already in common with Sarah Bernhardt.

  35. FRIST!!!

    She is delusional!!!
    Sofa king delusional.
    Oh my GOD!!!!!

  36. Kevin_FederSwine

    She’s already achieved success on one level, and that’s her goal to be like Madonna. She’s at least as big of a pain in the ass. Now all she needs to do is start a religion, sell water and bracelets, have someone ghost-write a couple of suck-ass children’s books, participate in a mock crucifixion on stage, squat over a mirror with her pants off and sell the photos as the centerpiece a $50 “coffee table book,” adopt a few kids, and talk in a fake-ass British accent. “Mornin’ guv’nor…care for a spot of tea? Oh, I caught you looking at my bum…you’re a right randy chap, guv’nor…” Stuff like that, but spoken 24-7. People will scratch their heads and say “Why is Lohan talking in a fake-ass Cockney accent?” and the reply will be “Shut up and drink your Kaballah water.” She’s one head-shaving away from becoming Britney.

  37. teetee

    fire. crotch.

  38. julyper

    I can’t believe this talentless whore is actually blaming the Press for his lack of talent. Next time she’s going to say that is the Paparazzis who take her out of her house to clubs. Besides, no one wants to work with her anymore because she behaves like a little girl. She’s over.

  39. FRIST!!!

    Oh, look, my first double post!!!! Now I know how that happens!!!
    It said cannot be displayed so I hit back, then hit post again. Wow, so far, I got to be first once, I got to be trolled once and I got to double post once. Well, there’s nothing left to look forward to now, so I’m leaving this site forever. Bye to all my fellow commenters. Goodbye forever!!!!

  40. wedge1

    Wow just check her quotable quote out:
    “I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being ‘the party girl.’ I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I’m filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.”

    Linds – you “gave” head; you GET time off. Start by being “adequate” with your writing.


    And if you call “busting your [bleep] when you’re filming” showing up hung over so often that the president of your production company has to write you a letter reprimanding you for putting your social schedule ahead of your work schedule, then just continue to do what your doing.

    The only Oscar that you’ll ever get lives on Sesame Street … in a trash can. Look for the furry green thing.

  41. FRIST!!!

    Oh, wait I did something else for the first time…I copied #8′s delusional comment. That’s what I get for commenting before reading them all. Well, #8, great minds think alike. Now I truly AM outta here!!!

  42. She strives to be like Madonna?! Madonna is a SINGER and a bad actress. If Lohan wants to win an Academy Award, she needs to strive to be like Meryl Streep or someone who’s actually a talented actress, not Madonna.

    She should also die. Yeah, she’d probably have a better chance at that Oscar.

  43. Sorry #19, didn’t see your Merly Streep post until after I posted. Great minds must think alike.

  44. FRIST!!!

    Hey, 43, look at my 41….GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

    I’m having a lot of deja vu today. Oh, wait I said I was leaving…I’m such a loser!!!

  45. Conky

    It’s like a competition between her, Britney, and Paris as to who can say or do the most retarded thing. And every other day a different one of the trio snatches back the crown. Paris, it’s your turn.

  46. herbiefrog

    #109 didnt we already promise that ?

    keep working…

    …hard : )

    [love... babe]

  47. Herbiefrog, whatever you’re on, I want.

  48. FRIST!!!

    She is delusional!!!
    Sofa king delusional.
    Oh my GOD!!!!!

  49. N'Arianne

    Christ…if she wants to stay out of gossip then maybe, just MAYBE she should start wearing UNDERWEAR, stop DRINKING and stay in on weekends? It’s not that hard! Seriously, when was the last time anyone saw say…Cate Blanchett in any gossip?
    So…yesterday Lindsay says she loves the paparazzi taking her picture…and today she wants them to f-off? Christ…someone put this girl on some pills! No, I mean the ones docs prescribe, not the kind you take at clubs LiLo!
    How about we raise some money so that we can hire someone to get rid of her? I am so fed up with the Lindsay posts!!!

  50. I’d still like to ejaculate on her face.

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