Lindsay Lohan is super desperate, drunk

January 19th, 2007 // 73 Comments




  1. BarbadoSlim

    Next stop, Carrot Top

  2. Mo

    I think she needs a personality transplant, not rehab.

  3. Pointandlaugh

    what the fuck is she wearing? wow.

  4. jrzmommy

    That was Linds laying there? MY BAD! I thought housekeeping just dropped a sack of shit on the floor. heh…stepped right over it……WOOPS!

  5. blahblahblah

    Wow, I’m usually like 45th. top ten…wow. anyway, rehab? like no one saw this coming. I love what her mom said about it too. They both are totally undereducated wastes of space.

  6. lohanhasthebestcokeinCA

    fuckin, she’ll be out in no time, once a coke fiend always a coke fiend, i smoked a blunt and watched mean girls, it was amazing, herbie fully loaded drunk, hilarious, fuckin, imagine smoking a blunt with her or paris hilton or something, what goes through their heads? jesus. at least lohan has been in movies, what does paris hilton think about, she goes places and people follow her every move for no reason, she must be high 24/7. mindfuckkk

  7. amaritimer

    I am actually starting to feel bad for her. Her life has spun out of control. Yes, it can be entertaining to watch her sink into the vortex but I still feel a little twinge deep in the black pit of my heart. She could have done so much with her life. She is 20 with a reputation of being a drunk whore who throws fits when she doesn’t get her way… it IS a shame.

  8. BarbadoSlim

    Read somewhere that this Franco (no fucking idea who he is) dude was there with his girlfriend.

    Are they also gonna treat her whoring addiction in Wonderland, or is a gang of other men’s girlfriends gonna have to treat that by beating the shit out of her?

  9. RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors

    her life is actually spiraling into mean girls

  10. He dared say no to Lohan? Does he not know that what Lohan wants, Lohan gets?

    rachael ray is a demon from hell at crabbie’s

  11. If Jason Weinberg were my manager, I would get drunk, cry and pass out too. That little midget has one of those loose, weak, wet, slimy handshakes that makes you cringe and reach for the Purell. They deserve each other.

    Love, Horseonovich

    Google me!

  12. jrzmommy

    That’s a fucked up name for a rehab place. Wonderland.
    I wonder what I did all those times I was fucked up?

  13. BigJim

    James Franco doesn’t swing that way. He’s got a thing for Spiderman.

  14. jrzmommy

    PS–I just googled this Franco dude and guess what…………..he’s a fag. you can tell just by lookin’ at him.

  15. BarbadoSlim


  16. BigJim


    May congratulate you on:

    -Being first
    -Not writing first
    -Writing something that was actually pretty damn funny

    Am I the first to call her Lindsay Lohab? Is that even funny? Eh, not really.

  17. lohanhasthebestcokeinCA

    im gonna go to California for spring break, smoke some danky, go to tijuana, get some acid or rolls or some shit, def. hit up rodeo or w/e, and see some celebs, omg if i could smoke a blunt with gwen stefani, thatd be the shit, no doubt was amazing mannnn, if lohans outta rehab by then, we burnin, and id fuck the living shit out of her during our 6 hour marathon wild rabid donkey sex session

  18. jesseeca

    again, this chick is pathetic. obviously showing her meat curtains was a bad idea. after seeing that, no one is going to want to get with her.

  19. cruzin333

    Did the child molestor… or, Joe Francis… move on so soon? Who would have thought he was a “love em and leave em” kind of guy?

  20. miggs

    Franco is a “fag”? I’m unfamiliar with that term – does anyone know a synonym?

  21. jrzmommy

    20–Isaiah Washington knows a few.

  22. cole007

    I think at a party when I was 21, cried about to an ex while too drunk and threw some kind of fit or quiet personal tantrum about something stupid… but I didn’t end up passed out on a floor in a hotel, I didn’t cry to some “dude” that already rejected me. Jesus Christ, have some type of pride, Hoslan!

    As an aside, I didn’t end up in rehab, but ended up married and quite happy.

    Go figure…maybe I just needed to have a little less self-esteem and I could end up in Wonderland, too.

    Oh ya, that’s right!!! My dad’s not in prison for being a dumb crook! Ah, I get it now. You have to have dumb parents to end up a dumb bitch.

  23. All I gotta say about that is, “oh what dude!!?”

    -Maxwell Smart

  24. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    What happened to Joe Francis? James Franco is WAY out of her league. There’s no way any respectable human being will ever date her.

  25. I think the big problem is that we all are fascinated by that idiot.

  26. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    #17…no celebrity on their right mind would get high with you…me on the other hand…well several already have. You’re lame for even posting that comment. No one thinks you’re cool…no one.

  27. wedgeone

    #21 – quite witty, jrz. Nice comeback. miggs must be British & is wondering why Franco is being called a cigarette.
    Let’s try this one out – he’s a tart!

    For those who are asking about her addiction to semen being treated @ Wonderland, my idea yesterday was that she could kick the semen habit at Michael Jackson’s Neverland, where the girls there don’t get exposed to any semen. Just the boys.

    Hmmm … isn’t any funnier today, either.

    Remember, the over/under on her relapse & death by overdose is 2 years, as set by jrz.

  28. Lowlands

    Michael Jackson luv jrzmami!

  29. miggs

    Actually i was just joking about all the comments on the JR Knight thread listing terms for guys who like the muddy helmut.

  30. BarbadoSlim

    I wish Superfishdoode would post something on Dane Cook, read that he’s personally going after any blogger who goes negative on his ass. I’m sure some superfishers would love to go town on a real pseudo-celeb. Emphasis on pseudo, I mean Cook might have been funny when he started but now he’s just a hack.


  31. icyprincess2

    Wonderland, i wonder if they do the same as Neverland ranch and give out “Jesus” juice. or maybe she gets to chase a white rabbit around all day looking for a fun tea party. Hohan seriously needs mental help and to get away from the Limelight for a while, or she will end up like Gary Coleman…

  32. jrzmommy

    Lowlife–who is jrzmami? Are you a guaozer?

    Miggs-i know.

  33. jrzmommy

    Who the fuck is Dane Cook?

  34. Lowlands

    To clear up a few things,i was never “cracked”!The only thing what was “cracked” is jrzmami her butthole!I borrowed her the keys but now she refuses to give them back.Really goOd girl!

  35. BarbadoSlim

    Sorry It won’t post the link properly. Just google: dane cook + bloggers.

    he’s supposed to be THE stand-up comedian of the moment.

  36. jrzmommy

    Can someone translate #34 for me? I don’t understand Idiot very well.

  37. schack

    i agree with #26. that’s the kind of comment you make when your 14 and you’re trying to impress the 13 year old wannabe hippie chicks, who wear old plaid button-down shirts and cords, but have yet to actually do anything remotely hippie. mention weed and they’ll follow you, before they realize that looking gross looks gross, and ditch you for the GQ yups.

  38. 4DPants

    #16: Yes, it is.

  39. 4DPants

    Did anyone else hear her mom on the morning shows today? Making a plea for privacy? Going on and on about the press and what vultures they are and “Can’t you they just leave us alone?”

    Well, no, actually. You can’t have it both ways. Because how much did La Lohan make for her last movie or for her most recent magazine spread? You can’t say, “Be fascinated by my daughter…but not THAT fascinated.”

  40. Lowlands

    (30)Send me his IP-adress!

  41. misanthrope

    Dane Cook? He’s *totally* gay.

  42. misanthrope

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  43. Whammer Jammer

    #40: I would dearly love to just slap the piss out of her mother. She is such a piece of shit. She acts like SHE is a celebrity, when she’s little more that some gutterslut’s mother.

  44. I would have nailed her in the pooper while she was passed out.

  45. polypam

    #44- I would reckon that mom is also a gutterslut. Read some story about her on a dinner date recently in some upscale NY restaurant and her date was fingerfucking her under the table. No word as to whether said date had to have his finger reattached after it burnt off, though.

  46. Whammer Jammer

    #46: I saw that same story. Of course, the skank denied it ever happened, but I believe it did.

    Good post, by the way.

  47. iheartllanus

    Finally! This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for. At some point during rehab, LL will fall asleep on her side or stomach – not wearing panties of course – and somebody (staff? lush?) will snap a cell phone pic of her sparkly browneye, and post it on the internet. I can’t wait! I’m going to rush out to get lotion and tissues, hope I don’t miss anything!!!

  48. Lowlands

    (46)Maybe the fingerfucker needed a dressing for his salad.

  49. fame is funny

    Those aren’t rehab photos, according to her clothes, they were taken on the set of her new movie “Undercover Lumberjack”

Leave A Comment