In the shocker of all shockers, Lindsay Lohan claims she’s innocent and that the cocaine found in her pocket wasn’t hers. She was asked by Access Hollywood if there was anything she wanted to get out there about her arrest and she responded via email:
“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”
To be fair, I carry around other people’s cocaine in my pockets all the time. Sometimes I even carry it around in my nose. That’s true friendship, man. You wouldn’t even understand. Besides, she was pulled over drunk and driving and carrying drugs in her pocket. The only way she could be any less innocent is if she was also carrying a knife with a severed head attached to it.
lolino18 | July 25, 2007 at 11:27 am
Uh……yeah.
Fluffy Butt | July 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
She gotta go through the ghetto to get to Heaven!
wipe your nose bitch!
cowgirl | July 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
I’m on top!! Yeeahhhh!
Victor | July 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
FRIST please reply to me. I would like to talk.
Dominique | July 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
oh boy.
wedgeone | July 25, 2007 at 11:33 am
#4 – why would someone as nice as Frist want to talk to you, knowing that you’re so gross that you would drink a woman’s used douche water? Stop stalking!
Been a long time since we’ve seen such a bad case of denial. She’ll be pleading guilty by the time the court hearings come up.
Trish | July 25, 2007 at 11:34 am
Lets guess her R.I.P date? She hasn’t hit rock bottom yet, but will within the next 2 years.
Trish | July 25, 2007 at 11:35 am
Lets guess her R.I.P date? She hasn’t hit rock bottom yet, but will within the next 2 years.
Victor | July 25, 2007 at 11:36 am
Wedge mind your own business. I didn’t tell her any of that in the last post. I was nice a polite and just wanted to talk to her. She is sooooo beautiful.
hendero67 | July 25, 2007 at 11:39 am
Obviously her time in rehab worked a little too well, because the most amazing part of this story is that she hadn’t already snorted all the coke.
Zoltan | July 25, 2007 at 11:40 am
Well, of course – that makes perfect sense; she was chasing after her assistant’s mom to Give HER the Cocaine!
Like a severence package, LiLo style…
Valkyrie and Thor | July 25, 2007 at 11:41 am
WTF!!!???
Wow, that’s rich, man. This fucking cunt knows better, that it DOESN’T MATTER WHO IT BELONGS TO, IT’S POSSESSION!!!!
Oh and what’s going on….when did this become a fucking singles porn chat room? And why was I not invited, dammit? (stamps foot)
Mick | July 25, 2007 at 11:41 am
Why can’t people just take responsibility for their actions?
I’m so tired of hearing about her. She’s not even a good actress. She’s not worth all this attention. I still can’t believe she’s going with the “It’s not mine” excuse.
Spankalot | July 25, 2007 at 11:41 am
Thank god she cleared that up . I knew it couldn’t be hers.
Zoltan | July 25, 2007 at 11:42 am
Well, of course – that makes perfect sense; she was chasing after her assistant’s mom to Give HER the Cocaine!
Like a severence package, LiLo style…
Mick | July 25, 2007 at 11:42 am
Why can’t people just take responsibility for their actions?
I’m so tired of hearing about her. She’s not even a good actress. She’s not worth all this attention. I still can’t believe she’s going with the “It’s not mine” excuse.
krazihottkelli | July 25, 2007 at 11:42 am
Dang, Victorz dick soundz hott today, howz it hangin
dictor? Bet your dick iz flyin outta your pantz
after thoze pozt I read.
Lohan…..everyone that getz caught with drugz
alwayz zayz…it ain’t mine…the copz have heard
it all before..U fuckin lier…get a drug free life, bitch…
YOUR DEAD…
Sportsdvl | July 25, 2007 at 11:43 am
Her saying the coke wasn’t hers is like OJ saying the knife wasn’t his. Stupid bitch.
Girl behaving badly back in the hizouse! | July 25, 2007 at 11:46 am
Okay. I’ll talk to you “Victor”, but I liked “Hash” or “hash brown” as I like to call you! I can recognize that handle better! You know my email addy send me something hot n’ nasty early in the mornin’!
Victor's Little Dick | July 25, 2007 at 11:46 am
Yo Victor!! Did you forget about the wife? You know the mother of your children!!!! If she finds out you are cheating on her she will cut me off. I don’t want to be cut off. I have grown kind of fond of the two nuts that live below me. Although the asshole in the back need to clean up a little
John | July 25, 2007 at 11:46 am
“That ain’t mine.”
So cliched they used it in Shrek 2 : Revenge of the Cliches.
Chauncey Gardner | July 25, 2007 at 11:47 am
This is all extremely awesome, but it’s still a crying shame that she didn’t get busted in some foreign airport with crazily strict drug laws, where you end up like Brad Davis in MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.
Then again, she’d probably press her own spotty cheetah tits up against the glass in the visitor’s room while a dozen tabloid photographers invaded her ‘privacy’. Something like that would probably make even the toughest Turkish prison guard puke.
Dana Plato's Ghost | July 25, 2007 at 11:48 am
When will that loser just fucking OD already?
I’m lonely down here in loser ho hell.
lapet | July 25, 2007 at 11:49 am
Yeah. Totally believe her. She was also carrying that booze in her stomache for Nicole Richie, a raging case of herpes for Paris Hilton, and a uterus full of spunk for her dad!
lambman | July 25, 2007 at 11:53 am
I saw that interview, and people say she doesn’t deserve an Oscar!
HQ Celebrity | July 25, 2007 at 11:54 am
While the rest of Hollywood´s starlets are crashing cars, going to rehab, getting put behind bars and transforming into skeletons, Hilary Duff is prancing along smugly feeling very pleased with herself because nothing bad is happening in her life at the moment… or so :)
Christ on a Crotch (depressed) | July 25, 2007 at 11:56 am
#13 Mick, sadly that’s the American way.
Entertainment and brain fodder is of absolute importance in a culture without culture who’s only need is for instant vapid gratification through the shit and demise of their fellow countrymen.
That would also explain the film industries need to produce more and more wastes of celluloid in the form of bad movies, and bad performers in the hopes of possibly coming out even or with a tiny profit.
The Downfall of the American Civilization. Sad, because I’m a first generation American and I love this country and believe if people weren’t so consumed with making huge amounts of money to support their extravagant and unreal lifestyles, we’d be fuller, and happier; real happiness.
Funny, we used to want to make money to help our kids go to college; now it’s al about saving enough to buy collagen implants for their graduating, vain, empty-headed teenage daughters whos only aspirations are to get on “Sweet 16″ or “Bridezillas.”
What we need is a heavy duty dose of humility (not humilation, for the uneducated). Sorry for the lengthy blog folks!
(reaches for bottle of strychnine and a powdered donut)
lambman | July 25, 2007 at 11:59 am
#26- You sound like an idiot. Are you 12? Nobody gives a crap about Hillary Duff, or her “rivalry” with Blowhan except stupid middle school girls. Duff’s last 3 movies have flopped, she couldn’t even sleep her way into a decent role at this point. Plus, you know, she still looks like a horse.
FirstTimeCaller | July 25, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Victor – the link is to a MySpace – make one and email her.
Victor | July 25, 2007 at 12:02 pm
#19……”Girl Behaving……..” I don’t have your e-mail. Why don’t you give it to me.
Miranda | July 25, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I just want to say as a writer myself, I love your site and creative smart ass comments, seriously! You are great! Love cracking up here….keep up the good work.
Anita | July 25, 2007 at 12:04 pm
“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. ” With this explanation Im not sure how Tarin’s mom almost hitting her car has anything to do with the drugs found in her pocket. It does explain the car chase but certainly not the coke possession. A judge will never buy into that lame excuse.
julz | July 25, 2007 at 12:04 pm
#28 – If nobody gives a crap about Hillary Duff then how do you know her last 3 movies flopped? I mean, I didn’t even know Hillary did anything outside of the Lizzy stuff. I feel a lot cooler then you right now. :-D
FRIST!!! | July 25, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Victor, I decided to fuck you and suck your dick. Just remember that those pictures you saw aren’t me. So don’t be surprised if I’m a little homely. Do you still want to fuck?
Clarence Darrow | July 25, 2007 at 12:04 pm
See, I told you she had a law degree in her future. This whole drugged up routine is just a diversion to keep us from seeing her keen intellect.
“The drugs weren’t mine.”
Clarence Darrow should have had such an eye for jurisprudence.
I’m thinking “Justice Lohan” in another 25 years. Perhaps even CHIEF Justice.
Christ on a Crotch (still depressed) | July 25, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Thank you Lambman.
Which give credence to what I said above. Hillary Duff, what a joke, can’t sing, can’t act, can’t even realize that a movie with her stupid witch-nosed sister is a bad career choice.
She should have stuck with Lizzie McGuire and kept her original teeth. BTW, she’s next…..
Stupid HQ Celebrity…..
tinkerbelle | July 25, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I see NICKI HILTON in the crowd dancing.
Geeze | July 25, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I bet her dog ate her homework too!
Valkyrie | July 25, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Say, BTW, “It isn’t mine” only works if you’re Louis Winthorpe the Third….
Boobille-boobille-boobille….HAH!
Girl Who Teases | July 25, 2007 at 12:07 pm
#30—I’ll give it to you!
You can leave a juicy comment on my blog!
Victor | July 25, 2007 at 12:08 pm
FRIST, the pictures are beautiful whoever it is. But you are still a very a beautiful person inside. You are always so nice to people in here. I would be more than glad to still fuck you. I bet you are pretty also, even though those aren’t your pictures.
FRIST | July 25, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Hey #34 troll! Don’t use my name, my dark Lord calls me Lucifer’s bunny! I’m such a lesbian that it must not have been me that sucked your dick?
gagging | July 25, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Frist, I love your blogs but please stop.
Victor, please,please you sound so desperate. I’m sorry to get into your grille but it’s just making me sick now.
Lance Romance | July 25, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Victor, you need to mix it up a little. Tell FRIST you’ll eat her soiled toilet paper. Chicks love that.
Victor | July 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm
#40 I have to sign up right?
jrzmommy | July 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm
How old is her assistant that she has to have her mommy drive her to work? What the fuck?
LEaving | July 25, 2007 at 12:13 pm
This site used to be funny. What happened to all the intelligent and hilarious bloggers?
willtherealvictorpleasestandup | July 25, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Lindsey has been watching too many episodes of C.O.P.S. Doesn’t everyone on that show who gets caught with anything illegal just say it’s not theirs?
I don’t know about you guys, but i totally believe her!
veggi | July 25, 2007 at 12:17 pm
This BLOWS! a hahahaha!
Hate to see you go | July 25, 2007 at 12:18 pm
#47–The intelligent bloggers are giving your boyfriend a hicky and adding you to their list of secret admirers!